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AIBU to be annoyed by MIL gift

(215 Posts)
Halle71 Thu 16-Jun-16 09:43:31

I will precede this post by admitting that I am a bit OCD about our house after a 1.5 refurb, and my MIL and I have not always got on but we are ok now although my DH is a bit twitchy about us.

It's my DD's 7th birthday on Sunday and various packages have been arriving from Amazon for her from my MIL who lives in NZ. Today my DH told me that the main package is due today - a keyboard.
That's cool I think. Until he shows me the link. It's almost a metre wide with its own stool. Her room is in the loft with no free wall - bed, full length wardrobe, juliette balcony and chest of drawers so it would have to go somewhere else. Our house is big by London standards but not huge and we don't really have any spare place for it to go. Don't get me wrong, the new kitchen diner where we spend most of our time, is filled with toys, but they are tidied up at night and again, there is nowhere it can go neatly against a wall (I also think that these keyboards are ugly and she will get bored and it will just gather dust). The other packages are learning tools for it so she is expected to learn to play it properly. I told my DH that I'm not helping (we can barely fit homework and swimming lessons in the time we have available) and he said she can teach herself. If it was that easy piano teachers would be redundant!
It will also be the cause of endless arguments with her and my 3 year old DS yawn...
It sound overly dramatic but it is a present that will just make my life harder.

I'm pissed off that she didn't talk to us - I would have suggested a smaller, cheaper 'starter' keyboard that she could use at the dining table or office desk.
She also has 'form' for this - the trampoline that arrived unannounced for her 4th birthday when we were in our old house with its 15' garden - all 10' if it. Sat in our hall for 2 weeks waiting for Amazon to pick up. Oh, and they had been to our house so not like they were thinking NZ gardens.. And as for the crazy battery toy animals she insists on buying - we spent £11 on batteries for the bloody dog last week!
I get that she wants to give surprises but when it's something with practical implications I think it would be polite to check. My mum wouldn't dare do this smile

EdmundCleverClogs Thu 16-Jun-16 09:45:47

Is this some sort of strange stealth brag?

srslylikeomg Thu 16-Jun-16 09:46:21

I'm with you on the trampoline - so I get she has form - but in this instance? A keyboard seems a nice gift. I bet you can fold it down and store it in a wardrobe or under the bed?

OuchLegoHurts Thu 16-Jun-16 09:47:25

Listen to yourself please. Some grandparents just can't win.

molyholy Thu 16-Jun-16 09:48:37

My mum wouldn't dare do this

I'm not surprised. You sound scary! grin

OuchLegoHurts Thu 16-Jun-16 09:48:41

Oh and... My mum wouldn't dare do that

I bet she wouldn't. You sound scary and ungrateful.

OuchLegoHurts Thu 16-Jun-16 09:49:18

Ha! Crossed post molyholy

Great minds...

CigarsofthePharoahs Thu 16-Jun-16 09:49:40

Have you actually said anything to your MIL about presents?
It sounds like she's trying to do something nice, but not really thinking it through very well. Perhaps in future years send her a list of things she can choose from that wont cause a problem for storage.
I have to admit though, it is a little odd to buy a large trampoline for someone when you know they don't have a big garden.

molyholy Thu 16-Jun-16 09:49:46


Halle71 Thu 16-Jun-16 09:53:21

I work, DH works, we spend our free time with the kids taking them to sports lessons, playing in the park, days out, playing games, play dates. May be selfish but as neither of us are musical, while we would be happy for her to have lessons, we can't help her learn. While fending off the 3 year old.

I get that the space issue is partly my issue but DH agrees and has suggested the shed (you should see our shed)...

paxillin Thu 16-Jun-16 09:54:16

Almost a meter wide? It's a small one then.

It is difficult to fit a piano, but if she is going to learn in it has to go somewhere. It is a fabulous gift I think. The 3 year old can hammer away on it, too. Even babies enjoy making noise with a keyboard or piano.

paxillin Thu 16-Jun-16 09:55:52

You don't have to be musical and help her learn. The piano teacher will show her what to do, she practices and the three year old doesn't need fending off. He can play, too. Just not during her practice.

Halle71 Thu 16-Jun-16 09:56:45

Edmund - not sure what you mean?
1.5 was a typo - meant "years". We bought a shit hole.

Bambamrubblesmum Thu 16-Jun-16 09:57:49

Oh to have this as my only problem in life...!

<hands OP a grip>

If I were your MIL I'd buy a baby grand piano as next year's present grin

BasinHaircut Thu 16-Jun-16 09:58:19

I understand where you are coming from OP!

My MIL likes to fill my house with shit too! Although we see her every week so we are able to manage it by steering her thoughts to smaller more practical things.

She once told me she was buying DH a gaming chair (like an office swivel chair but with speakers and stuff) for xmas. I told her it would look very nice in her house grin

MummyTheTramEngine Thu 16-Jun-16 09:58:58

I feel your pain! Both my kids have been presented with huge framed personalised cross stitch masterpieces by my MIL, and they're not to my taste at all! They're on the wall though, I just avert my eyes!

JudyCoolibar Thu 16-Jun-16 10:00:43

we spend our free time with the kids taking them to sports lessons, playing in the park, days out, playing games, play dates.

Are you seriously trying to say that, in amongst all that, you can't squeeze in an hour a week for music lessons? Come off it. If it's a meter wide, it's not large and doesn't have to be up against a wall. I suspect you can take it down and put it out of the way pretty easily anyway.

EdmundCleverClogs Thu 16-Jun-16 10:01:25

What do I mean? All you had to say was 'we're getting a new gift, much appreciated but no room in the house'. The unnecessary added 'facts' just seem like a boast to me (whilst also sounding ungrateful if I'm honest). Very much first world problems.

Chocolatefudgecake100 Thu 16-Jun-16 10:01:51

You sound rather uptight and ungrateful this is a metre wide keyboard there will be somewhere to store it sounds like u just dont like the gift but its educational and fun so grow up on this matter

Halle71 Thu 16-Jun-16 10:02:06

She can have music lessons for a week but no, I don't have a spare hour during her waking hours most weeks.

Halle71 Thu 16-Jun-16 10:02:20


UntilTheCowsComeHome Thu 16-Jun-16 10:02:44

I work, DH works, we spend our free time with the kids taking them to sports lessons, playing in the park, days out, playing games, play dates

Well heaven forbid you add one other small thing for your DD on top of all this that all parents do. hmm

It's a nice thing, not that big. Get over yourself.

evilcherub Thu 16-Jun-16 10:03:55

Stealth boasting and ungrateful. Give it away to a family that will appreciate it?

Laiste Thu 16-Jun-16 10:04:22

She's 6 turning 7 so quite young. I'd have it out for some fun for a couple of weeks (i'd let DS join in - DD might not mind) and see if she enjoys it/shows much interest in it - then if not store it for a few months and then see if you can sell it.

If she does enjoy it and fancy learning piano you could get her a weekly lesson?

No idea what all the Juliette balcony, big london house, x amount of £ referb, new kitchen diner stuff has got to do with it confused

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely Thu 16-Jun-16 10:07:43

Yanbu. It's annoying when people buy large gifts without considering lack of space. I wouldn't dream of doing it.

How on earth is the op stealth boasting? What an odd accusation.

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