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AIBU?

To worry for this poor baby!

83 replies

Iamonlyhuman · 16/06/2016 09:43

My DP's brother has an 18 month old that and since the baby has been born, they've been to Spain a few times (in the heat).

I was talking about sun cream the other day to her and she doesn't bother other than a little F15! I asked why and she said "Well it's not really the done thing where I am from and my Mum never bothered with it with me, nor did my Nanna use it for her children".

SERIOUSLY, just because you're olive skinned and from a Spanish background does not mean you can let a child's skin colour change. It's a form of burning.

Literally, she let her DD play on the beach in just a swimming nappy and a hat!

Isn't this a form of I hate to say it neglect?

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EatShitDerek · 16/06/2016 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clevelandriot · 16/06/2016 09:44

Depends how often she puts on the cream. And some skins really do need less. It's neglect of she lets her burn.

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Iamonlyhuman · 16/06/2016 09:47

Yeah, maybe neglect is too strong a word.

I don't think she let her burn as DN has a gorgeous colour on her, but I was always taught that any change to the colour of skin is bad?

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musicmaiden · 16/06/2016 09:48

You should get DP to raise it with his DB (as surely he should have input into this too), other than that there's not a lot you can do.

I'd probably say something along the lines of 'Well my nanna put gin in the baby's bottle to help them sleep, doesn't mean it's a good idea to do it now' (possibly not the best example, but you know what I mean :))

It's not really 'neglect', but it is extremely stupid.

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BitchPeas · 16/06/2016 09:48

My previous GP told me mixed race DS only needed factor 20 on really hot days only, she was in her late 60s so maybe it's a generational thing?

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Iamonlyhuman · 16/06/2016 09:50

Bitch I get that but she isn't mixed race

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LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 16/06/2016 09:51

When I go to Spain (and I tend to go off the beaten track a little) the Spaniards don't go to the beach in the heat of the day. They and their LOs tend to descend en-masse around 4pm, no doubt after a shady lunch and a siesta, or you quite often see families playing first thing then heading in when it gets really hot. I think sensible sun behaviour is more or less ingrained in them tbh, but it may not involve factor 50 + and going out a noon like it does with us Brits!

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Watchingdallas · 16/06/2016 09:52

why is your question about "her" and not the child's father or the parents together?

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thenewaveragebear1983 · 16/06/2016 09:53

Personally, I think there is no such thing as a 'gorgeous colour' on a baby. Hmm By that comment you are suggesting that, provided she doesn't burn , a bit of a tan on an infant is OK? Where would you draw the line?

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OuchLegoHurts · 16/06/2016 09:53

Just to correct you - any skin colour change is not a bad thing. A light golden tan or a few light freckles from normal outdoor exposure (not in hige temps like you described though) is ok. In fact, doctors in the UK are seeing more cases of rickets in children over the past few years due to lack of vit D from non-exposure to any sunlight.
That was just an aside by the way, I know you're not talking about normal UK temps.

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Iamonlyhuman · 16/06/2016 09:54

thenew that's not what I'm suggesting at all, since I clearly said I thought any chance to the colour of skin is bad Confused

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Iamonlyhuman · 16/06/2016 09:59

And thinking about it, how is exposing your child to skin cancer not neglect? Hmm

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thenewaveragebear1983 · 16/06/2016 09:59

So why is colour 'gorgeous'? I'm not having a go, but as a culture perhaps we need to change our mindset of colour being 'gorgeous' and see sun damage for what it really is. A baby with a tan??

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duckyneedsaclean · 16/06/2016 10:00

I thought any chance to the colour of skin is bad

My olive skinned sons (half Italian) do tan, with factor 50 on.

And yes to pp that in Spaniards wouldn't be on the beach between about 12-4. So avoid the most dangerous sun.

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Iamonlyhuman · 16/06/2016 10:01

the I understand what you're saying but for some reason I think most people do look better with a tan.

That's not to say it's right though

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thenewaveragebear1983 · 16/06/2016 10:02

I agree, exposing a baby to skin cancer, or in the short term, the pain and discomfort of sunburn is unacceptable. Skin cancer is largely preventable. Sun cream is available in the pound shop. There really is no excuse. The choice to use factor 50 or factor 15 is, I suppose, parental discretion.

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drspouse · 16/06/2016 10:03

Mixed race and black children also need suncream, especially if playing out for longer periods. Darker skinned children and adults can burn.

Our grannies also put babies to sleep on their front and didn't use car seats.

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Bodicea · 16/06/2016 10:03

I really don't have a problem with kids getting a bit of colour/ - tan. My son has eczema and his skin condition always improves when he gets a tan. I do put sun cream on the kids but not religiously like some people. I would never let them burn. I was always quite tanned as a kid.
Plus you do need some sun for vitamin d remember.

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drspouse · 16/06/2016 10:04

The choice to use factor 50 or factor 15 is, I suppose, parental discretion.

That's a discretion available to an adult. Factor 15 especially for a European child is pretty pointless. An adult can choose to put on an extra UV top/stay in the shade/burn if they are daft, the child can't choose these things.

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Palomb · 16/06/2016 10:04

This any colour is bad thing might well be true for some people but for people with Mediterranean skin tones staying lily white would mean they would have to stay in doors every day. I colour by looking out the windows and so do my kids. I do put us cream on them but only ever factor 20.

Just because you're neurotic about catching the sun doesn't mean the rest of the world has to be. People have different skin types.

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Mumoftwoyoungkids · 16/06/2016 10:05

You should read "Gone with the Wind". Scarlett very proud of her very very pale skin.

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SpringerS · 16/06/2016 10:06

Tbh, the more I read about suncream, the more hesitant I am to use it. Many creams have ingredients that include known carcinogens like oxybenzone. Wearing a high factor protection is more increasingly believed to be dangerous as it prevents the sun's rays from burning you but doesn't necessarily prevent the absorption of cancer causing rays, meaning that you spend longer absorbing the rays that cause cancer because you stay longer in the sun than you would if you started to burn. And sunblock stops vitamin D absorption and is why we are seeing an increasing rate of health problems such as rickets.

So now I think carefully before applying sunscreen. If we are going to be out all day in sunshine, I'll apply sunscreen. If we are going to be out quite a bit, I'll apply coconut oil, a mild natural sunscreen, and carry sunscreen to apply if needed. And if we are just going to be in and out of the garden, quick trips to the shops, etc, I'll try to avoid it completely in order to build up a vitamin D supply. If I was in Spain, I'd be applying sunscreen pretty much all the time but my skin is so fair, it's practically light blue and I burn very easily. If I had darker skin, I'd only be applying it as I judged necessary, especially as darker skinned people need longer in the sun to absorb the same amount of Vit D.

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Clevelandriot · 16/06/2016 10:07

"Where do you draw the line?"

Don't let them go pink and burn.

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Iamonlyhuman · 16/06/2016 10:07

Palom I don't mean staying Lily white at all, but if a child has a Spanish skin tone, they still need more protection than a slap of F15 and a hat!

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Clevelandriot · 16/06/2016 10:09

Is she BURNING? If not, then calm!

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