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AIBU to not want a houseguest just after our honeymoon

(19 Posts)
coralpig Wed 15-Jun-16 20:53:30

We get back from our honeymoon on a Saturday and my has agreed to a friend staying with us straight away for 3 nights. The friend is lovely and I have nothing against her. It's just he didn't think to ask me first and let us have a chat about it. He just said she could stay. I'm miffed to say the least. I want us to be able to have a chill and get back into a routine after we get married. The whole wedding month will be hectic. AIBU to think this isn't right?

Nocabbageinmyeye Wed 15-Jun-16 21:16:44

Honeymoon or not I'd expect a houseguest to be discussed to be honest

Inertia Wed 15-Jun-16 21:21:16

Houseguests should be agreed between both of you first.

Why does the friend need to stay at that particular time? It's always hectic when you get back from any holiday, with a shedload of washing to do and work to get ready for.

SeasonalVag Wed 15-Jun-16 21:42:19



I was miserable and resentful, it ruined such a special time. SAY NO.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Wed 15-Jun-16 21:43:33

YANBU to never want a houseguest IMO.

Mouikey Wed 15-Jun-16 21:53:20

YANBU... When you get back you'll want the weekend to sort yourselves out, go through your cards and gift, take a look at the photos everyone will have sent you, and sadly do all the crappy washing from your honeymoon. A guest on top of that would be stressful, enjoy your last weekend before you have to go back to work... its a big bump to reality!!! Have a super honeymoon though!

yougotitdude Wed 15-Jun-16 22:10:24

YANBU. If I was getting back from my honeymoon- I would want to spend my first days back living as man and wife. Not with a third wheel thrown into the mix.

I don't know what sort of person would want to do it, either- staying with a newly married couple wouldn't be fun for me all the loud sex and bragging about their amazing holiday and what gifts they got from the wedding

Just send her a text "Hi X, I know Y said it would be convenient for you to stay on Z date, but he unfortunately did not discuss this with me and we have other commitments. Hope you are well, see you at the wedding (?) and hope to catch up soon. Love coralpig.

Gide Wed 15-Jun-16 22:12:30

YANBU. I'd be really pissed off. He probably hasn't thought this through.

TallulahTheTiger Wed 15-Jun-16 22:16:32

Exactly as yougotit says, where are you going on honeymoon? Any journey often makes me knackered and I need recovery time, but remembering how tired physically and mentally after our wedding k
Id def say no to houseguest!

TallulahTheTiger Wed 15-Jun-16 22:17:07

For what reason are they staying? Business or pleasure?

Hassled Wed 15-Jun-16 22:18:51

I don't ever want a houseguest - I hate being one and I hate having one. Your H-to-be needs to learn pronto that he doesn't get to make decisions without a discussion - can you contact the friend and explain it won't be OK after all?

yorkshapudding Wed 15-Jun-16 22:22:47

Does your friend know you'll have only just got back from your honeymoon? If so I can't imagine why she would want to stay and be a third wheel. I would have thought most people would feel awkward in that situation.

coralpig Wed 15-Jun-16 22:23:17

she needs somewhere to stay as her tenancy agreement begins a few days later than expected. We're not the only local friends but probably the only ones with a comfortable spare room. I'm just pissed that It wasn't discussed first.

powershowerforanhour Wed 15-Jun-16 22:24:03

Ask him if the friend is strong enough to carry you across the threshold

greenfolder Wed 15-Jun-16 22:25:50

You should actually just tell her.

yougotitdude Wed 15-Jun-16 22:46:27

powershower- I just spat out my gin all over my keyboard. Thanks grin

It really isn't your problem OP. It would really piss me off if my partner expected our first days living as a married couple at home to be spent with someone else. Be apologetic and if she is an adult and I don't know if she is as she should of worked out not to ask in the first place if she is she will understand. Otherwise- stick it in the fuck it bucket and move on. Any other time and i'd be inclined to say YABU but YADNBU.

Its for her to sort out. Or to book into a B+B/hotel like millions of people across the globe do. Does she not have family she could go and stay with for a few days and put her things into storage?

MsPavlichenko Wed 15-Jun-16 22:56:26

I have to say I think it is bloody strange she has even asked you. Given she has other options, and it's not a sudden or emergency situation she should have tried every available option first. And then still not asked you.

I'd simply get in touch, explain you want that time to yourselves asap.Tell your DH first obviously.

yougotitdude Wed 15-Jun-16 23:02:53

Or if you have the room id offer to store SMALL things for her (ie clothes, boxes of crockery) for a few days instead so she could go and stay with family. That is the very most id offer though.

TallulahTheTiger Wed 15-Jun-16 23:05:46

Where's all her stuff going to be? Even when I moved between fully furnished properties I still had a small van load of personal items! Hope that's not coming too!!

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