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AIBU to be sceptical when the op disappears

(28 Posts)
Nousernameforme Tue 14-Jun-16 13:10:57

It happens several times a day here. Op posts something people come down on both sides of the argument and froth at each other adding more and more to the story and op isn't heard from for hours if at all.
Surely if you have time to post something you have time to stick around to see what at least the first few replies say and reply.
AIBU to suspect them of refreshing like mad whilst rubbing their hairy little hands together and chuckling menacingly at all the drama they have caused?

hownottofuckup Tue 14-Jun-16 13:11:48

Totally agree.

Caffeinator Tue 14-Jun-16 13:14:11

Was thinking much the same while reading a thread earlier.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Tue 14-Jun-16 13:17:21

Maybe the OP is away from their keyboard actually sorting out the problem, instead of writing about it?

If people froth, that's up to them

RaspberryOverload Tue 14-Jun-16 13:17:21

I don't agree.

Many people pile in and post, and don't bother taking a look at the time stamps, just the actual number of posts. I've seen people asking something maybe first thing, and then coming back at lunch time to check responses, when they've not been able to post in the meantime because they work. Some workplaces also ban mobiles in certain areas, so not everyone gets a chance to keep checking.

I don't bother whether an OP doesn't come back until it's been at least a day, especially as life has a habit of getting in the way sometimes.

Nousernameforme Tue 14-Jun-16 13:17:50

I now scan down the page to see if op has replied before i bother to read most of the op.

RiverTam Tue 14-Jun-16 13:18:46

It's 50/50 as to whether they're ever seen again or whether they've had to abandon their keyboard for a few hours and don't come back till later. It's not the OP's fault if people get very worked in in their absence.

Oysterbabe Tue 14-Jun-16 13:20:22

It happens often when the overwhelming majority take a view that the OP doesn't like.

Nousernameforme Tue 14-Jun-16 13:22:20

Surely if a matter has been worrying them enough to post about they would hang around for a few mins at least to make sure it didn't get lost in the realms of page 2 and i do take note of the time stamps it seems implausible that they would write all that and not wonder what people were saying. It's not like you need to be sat at a computer at your desk to reply people are online nearly all the time now through phones tablets etc

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Tue 14-Jun-16 13:26:34

Sometimes a thread can take a turn and become a good discussion but not what the OP originally intended. They may feel as if their own thread has moved beyond what they wanted to discuss so step away. I've kind of done it myself where I've got involved in a thread but wandered off to make dinner and by the time I go back to it its moved on and I feel I have nothing to add.

I accept that many people would think I'd actually had nothing worth adding in the first place grin

ijustwannadance Tue 14-Jun-16 13:27:41

It's the threads that go on for days with no op response that baffle me. Other posters end up just arguing amongst themselves then someone else will post something without reading the whole thread and so it continues.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Tue 14-Jun-16 13:28:18

Does anyone else remember the one about microwaving dogs? The OP posted and vanished because she just wanted to pass some info on.

januaryblues11 Tue 14-Jun-16 13:29:32

I admit I've done this once. I posted, asking for a bit of advice, returned to the thread a few hours later and there was pages of replies, posters arguing amongst themselves, it looked crazy so I hid it. It can be really intimidating when a thread of yours spirals and what started as a small thing escalates and you spend most of your time trying to defend yourself from an onslaught of posters.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Tue 14-Jun-16 13:54:49

Where's the OP gone? hmm


PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 14-Jun-16 13:57:22

It depends on the thread itself, what it's about, how it's worded etc.

PreciousVagine Tue 14-Jun-16 13:57:42

YABU. Sometimes people post things, regret it, and hide the thread.

FlyingElbows Tue 14-Jun-16 14:01:11

I posted a thread one morning and was rounded on by more than one poster for not having posted more contributions. This happened in the timeframe during which I took my children to school, did our horses then showered, got breakfast then clicked back on to the thread. The frothing indignation and accusations of trolling were mad when all I had done was go about my usual day. We can't all stay glued to mn all day, it doesn't make us any less genuine contributors.

Nousernameforme Tue 14-Jun-16 14:05:40

I don't remember about the microwaving dogs that sounds awful.
I am willing to admit that there may be a few reasons to genuinely not be able to get back to a thread for several hours but surely if you want to hide it and forget it you can always contact mn and ask them to delete for you.
Perhaps I am paranoid after the spate of journo stories and trolls we have had of late but it always seems fishy to me

PreciousVagine Tue 14-Jun-16 14:07:34

MN don't always delete when requested. Even when it's identifying, they still can decide to leave it up.

liz70 Tue 14-Jun-16 14:08:11

"did our horses"

Gotta love a good stealth boast, flying. grin

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass Tue 14-Jun-16 14:08:20

I don't agree either.

I posted in AIBU under a different name shortly after joining mumsnet when I hadn't quite got a feel of the site yet. I posted about a very minor but annoying issue with my DP. I responded a few times but my words were being twisted in such a way that painted DP to be the biggest twat In history and I knew the more I posted the more it would be twisted. You know how it goes, one poster twists something and then lots of others posters read that as fact and it all spirals out of control.

I think if less posters were insistent of giving other's a virtual kicking on threads and less posters used 'being blunt' as an excuse to be downright rude then more OP would stick around on their threads. Ditto calls of being sexist, disablist, racist or goady.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Tue 14-Jun-16 14:09:53

It was actually really funny. It was so obvious that she meant micro chipping, but because she posted and disappeared there was all kinds of piss taking doggy jokes. I did really like pugs in blankets!

thecatfromjapan Tue 14-Jun-16 14:12:20

The microwaving dogs poster came back - and was a bit embarrassed about her typo. But a kind poster pointed out that the typo had probably done more to raise awareness than if she had posted without the typo.

(I realise I have now performed a very kind update service.)

BestZebbie Tue 14-Jun-16 14:17:14

I thijnk this is just an example of different people using mumsnet in different ways - if I posted to ask for opinions on something I would intentionally then go and do something else for a while whilst (hopefully) some replies built up, then I could come back and read several in one go, post clarifications etc. Much more efficient than spending all morning watching things trickle in (or not) in real time, but still "in conversation" if you are giving it a reasonable chunk of time several times throughout the day.

RortyCrankle Tue 14-Jun-16 15:11:03

I don't understand why the OP can't just mention if thy are going to be unable to respond for however long?

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