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to feel sad that my DD has had formula for the first time today?

(21 Posts)
trebleclef101 Tue 14-Jun-16 12:18:48

I'm not looking to start a debate about whether breast is best, and I know that supplementing with formula is the right choice for my family at the moment, but there is a part of me that feels very sad that she is no longer having just my milk.

Has anyone else gone through this?

She was already taking less due to weaning (she is 10 months) but milk wise before today had only had my milk from me or expressed milk from a bottle.

Just want to hear about other people's experiences, and have my hand held I guess smile

fatsowhale Tue 14-Jun-16 12:25:06

My DD stopped at 11 months and I was just relieved it was over! I was so fed up with always wearing nursing/breast-accessible tops and rubbishy nursing bras. It's the first step to getting your body back!

She's still tiny and needs you very much. The milk isn't everything, no need to be sad.

criticroyal90 Tue 14-Jun-16 12:26:31

Don't worry treble, to get to 10 months exclusively breastfeeding is a fantastic achievement. My DS had a medical condition which affected his swallow reflex and at 10 days old my midwife told me I was kidding myself thinking I could BF and should just give him a bottle! I did and then really regretted not being able to feed him myself. By the time he had surgery at 6 weeks he was bottle dependant. I was devastated but everyone kept telling me I was being a drama queen and making it all about myself. You should give yourself a massive pat on the back for going 10 months and think of all the wonderful immunities your LO now has smile xxx

Sorebigtoes Tue 14-Jun-16 12:29:00

I get you. Ds2 (11 weeks old) is my first baby who has been exclusively breastfed, and I love that this time I've managed it. I tried for the older 2 children but health reasons meant they both had some formula. DS2 will be the last baby and I can imagine feeling like you when the time comes.

maggiethemagpie Tue 14-Jun-16 12:43:09

I couldn't breastfeed mine, I felt sad for about 0.00001 minutes then realised I had a lot more freedom, as DH could do night feeds on the weekend, and I did not have to have my baby with me at all times (had some hospital treatment following the birth, would have been difficult).

Three years on and I couldn't claim it's made any difference whatsoever to their lives or mine!

Planty18 Tue 14-Jun-16 12:51:57

I know exactly how you feel and you have done an amazing job!! I had to make this decision after a couple of weeks and it was actually a relief to have back up so now I know it was the best thing for our family. I exclusively breastfed my older two until they were 16 months and almost 2 and wanted to do the same with my twins. I just couldn't manage to express enough or feed them enough and manage two other kids' needs. I struggled with it emotionally but in the end my babies were hungry. I needed to feed them and I have felt supported and able to continue giving them my breastmilk up until now with formula for some of their feeds when I can't make enough. Best decision we made really, certainly for my wellbeing but also for the babies. They are happy and healthy. You have done an amazing job to feed until 10 months! Well done and apparently 3oz of breastmilk per day passes on its immunological benefits so they'll still be getting that goodness with any of your milk. Try not to be hard on yourself

MsWorthington Tue 14-Jun-16 12:57:13

I don't think this is really about formula or breast, but more that it's one of the little moments where your child moves on and takes a tiny step towards their ultimate independence from you.

I find all those moments bittersweet. your child is doing excatly what they need to do to grow up, and you wouldn't want it any other way, but at the same time you know once a milestone has been past that child will never go back to being and will only ever keep going forwards.

Planty18 Tue 14-Jun-16 13:00:45

Totally agree with Maggie - a lot more freedom too and allows others to support you too

Oysterbabe Tue 14-Jun-16 13:04:05

I felt exactly the the same when I had to start supplementing DD with formula. I exclusively expressed until 5 months but then couldn't keep up with demand. You've done really well and I think it's a pretty normal way to feel.

Choccywoccyhooha Tue 14-Jun-16 13:07:02

What you are feeling is totally understandable. Some milestones are really quite hard emotionally.

coco1810 Tue 14-Jun-16 14:55:24

Wow, you got to 10 months big well done to you my lovely! I struggled with my DS for two weeks but my milk didn't come and after pnd I had to make the decision not to BF with DD. I applaud all mommies who can BF but honestly do not beat your self up about it. Both my DC are strapping, healthy kids.

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 14-Jun-16 14:59:34

I felt a bit sad the day my daughter took the bottle from my hands and fed herself the milk. So whilst not the same thing, I get where you are coming from. It's a thing that you did together and now it's not needed in the same way.

MrsDoylesTeaParty Tue 14-Jun-16 16:05:05

I understand you feeling sad, as you will feel with many other milestones to come wink But spend a few minutes on it and then move on, these things become a faded memory because there is always something new happening! The day I switched to formula was the start of sanity. It was two years ago now and I never think of it until I see a thread on here, and then its just for a moment.

MunchCrunch01 Tue 14-Jun-16 16:10:17

i remember feeling particularly sad about this particular milestone too with both DC - it feels personal, like a personal rejection and the giving of formula when you've been ebf and believe it's best can be hard to see, but your baby is getting on to toddler age and in a few months they'll be able to drink cow's milk not formula. When it's time to move on, it's time to move on, it's a special time in life but when it's over it's time to put energy into creating new special routines with them rather than holding onto something that's no longer needed.

scarednoob Tue 14-Jun-16 16:22:16

not at all. having consoled or reassured many friends who chose to FF or had to FF, I found myself very tearful when DD had her first formula bottle last week (she's 9 months). she didn't give a stuff, of course.

I think it's v emotional, as it makes you think of the time when they won't need you as much as they do now, and it's also bound to make your hormones go a bit crazy.

here's to sore lumpy boobs that are full of extra milk!

Junosmum Tue 14-Jun-16 17:52:19

Yep, DS is 6 months. I have given him a sippy cup of formula and some shepherds pie today. Before now he's only ever had 'mummy milk'. I feel horrifically guilty. I have no issue with formula feeding, I just feel guilty for me. It doesn't make any sense for me to feel that way, but I do.

ShowOfHands Tue 14-Jun-16 17:59:03

I think it's okay to feel that sadness actually. I felt the same about a lot of things. Giving birth, feeding. It's life though isn't it? There's the ideal and there's the reality and we straddle the two. What's best is somewhere in the middle and not what you once thought it was. Acknowledge you feel a bit wobbly and then reframe it as a positive thing.

Artistic Tue 14-Jun-16 18:38:37

It's ok. I felt sad too. Managed to exclusively bf both DDs for 6 months and then fed alongside solids for longer. But starting formula was both sad as well as happy coz it meant not being tied to my babies 24X7. The last feed to DD2 (my last baby!!) was really really sad. Broke my heart. But had to be done. I did a video of her last feed and took pictures. Still makes me cry. Oh the joys & sorrows of motherhood/ bf!
Enjoy your newfound freedom, every stage brings its ups & downs.

trebleclef101 Sun 19-Jun-16 20:21:45

Thank you all for your kind messages smile

It's an emotional change but I'm coming round to the positives, like being able to wear all the nice summer dresses I have that I can't bf in!

Plus it's my birthday soon and as a present I'm going to ask my DH for a whole 8 hours in bed without having to get up for a feed grin

borntohula Sun 19-Jun-16 21:58:57

i hear you, i bf dc1 exclusively and then until she was a year old... totally different with dcs 2 and 3, as soon as i introduced a bottle, quite early on, they preferred it, must have found it more filling or something

RubbleBubble00 Sun 19-Jun-16 22:25:20

I started waking the formula into dc as soon as we started weaning about 5/6 months. The bliss of of a full nights sleep - priceless

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