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To think this is too much?

(129 Posts)
MiserlyMisery Tue 14-Jun-16 11:26:56

I have just received a letter from the DS's class reps informing me that we want to thank DS's teachers Mrs F (4 days a week) and Mrs C (1 day a week) for their work that of Mrs F can only be described as mediocre at best and to give them a present. Each child will make a flower for each teacher. They will buy a plant and the flowers will be laid in the flower pot. I must bring the completed flowers, along with a tenner to their house by X date.

There are 21 children in the class, assuming the family with twins only pays once that is 200 with which to buy two plants. AIBU to think this is crazy?

I will state that I intensely dislike Mrs F who has done absolutely nothing for DS this past year and who quite honestly in my biased opinion should not be teaching. I resent being instructed that I am to hand this money over for her. Is this normal procedure and its just my dislike colouring my reaction or would you ask what they are planning to buy exactly?

gabsdot Tue 14-Jun-16 11:29:22

I hate these group collections. Just say you've already sorted something yourself and don't want to be included.

Orchidflower1 Tue 14-Jun-16 11:31:55

It's a bit cheeky to assume some can afford/ want to spend £10 on teachers gift - what about those with siblings in other classes to buy for too?

Baconyum Tue 14-Jun-16 11:34:11

Stuff that! Ridiculous!

For starters not compulsory and they shouldn't give the impression it's expected.

For another that's WAY too much money £2.50 per child would be enough. But then I suspect they're also planning on buying them something too. But not for totally altruistic reasons.

Plus if she's a shit teacher then she doesn't deserve anything! (My dd had one like that get where you're coming from!)

WellErrr Tue 14-Jun-16 11:36:58

Just say 'thanks for thinking of asking us but we're already sorted.'

Don't hand the money over!

NavyAndWhite Tue 14-Jun-16 11:39:06


You have to make a flower? Out of paper type thing? And a tenner?

Just buy a card and a box of maltesers.

NavyAndWhite Tue 14-Jun-16 11:39:38

Yes that's a good idea from WellErr. Do that.

HelloHola Tue 14-Jun-16 11:40:12

In all my schooling life, I only chipped in for a present for the teacher at the end of my GCSE's - he was a really deserving English teacher.

Unless a teacher goes above and beyond for you/your child, then why should they get a present? And £10 per person! Surely only a £1!

I wouldn't pay up.

Birdsgottafly Tue 14-Jun-16 11:40:16

I think teachers gifts should be edible/drinkable, or a gift voucher.

That's way too much money, if it's a class collection, it should be £1-2.

I'd be speaking to another Parent and objecting, now.

Mrskeats Tue 14-Jun-16 11:53:53

I'm not sure how you are qualified to say that a teacher 'is mediocre at best'
Are you in the classroom all day?
The present thing is up to you

Susiebearlove Tue 14-Jun-16 11:58:43

If you don't like her, don't contribute in anyway. She's leaving so it shouldn't affect your children's education/teaching. I don't contribute to people's leaving presents if I don't feel they deserve it. I wouldn't feel that they deserve the respect.

EarthboundMisfit Tue 14-Jun-16 12:01:05

I was a bit irritated by this last year. I'm doing my own thing this time. Which will be Costa and Amazon vouchers, just like every year!

MiserlyMisery Tue 14-Jun-16 12:01:23

It's not a leaving present. Its the end of year present. She will, unfortunately, be "teaching" my DD next year.

I suppose it's to PA to send in the one for Mrs C and just half the money...

MiserlyMisery Tue 14-Jun-16 12:03:52

blush too

FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose Tue 14-Jun-16 12:08:09

I'm a teacher and would be horrified to think that parents were being put under pressure to contribute silly money to a joint gift.

However I don't think that's the issue here. If you have such a problem with Mrs F then what constructive things have you actually done to address it? Hopefully you're only dismissing her completely and slagging her off on here, not in RL.

Susiebearlove Tue 14-Jun-16 12:10:27

Sorry. I was under that impression it was a leaving gift. I've never heard of giving a gift at the end of the year (from when I was a kid). Do other parents think the same? I would think a gift "coming from the children" should be more thoughtful (e.g. Something made) and not financial. See if there's a consensus amoungst the parents and challenge it that way. Is a class rep a parent? I don't know this stuff as my child doesn't start school until September

MiserlyMisery Tue 14-Jun-16 12:16:34

Yes, class reps are parents.

I have had several meetings with the teacher as it is seen as bad form here to go directly to the headmaster with complaints. I do however have a meeting with the head and her next week to ask for an assurance that my DD will not face the same issues as my DS has had to.

LazyJournalistsQuoteMN Tue 14-Jun-16 12:17:15

Is there not some code of ethics rule about receiving cash gifts? Our teachers always ask for a donation to a charity instead of gifts.

TurncoatEwok Tue 14-Jun-16 12:17:19

Fuck that. I never bothered doing the class collections. Following the time we were all asked for money for DD's wonderful reception teacher who was leaving to have a baby. I thought I might contribute until the class reps said they were spending the entire amount on a crystal animal ornament. confused DD chose the baby some board books instead, and we got a lovely personal thank you letter which we still have years later.

We sometimes 'thought outside the box' with presents and they were always well received. Like a set of 60 good quality blank cards for each child to draw two of the same picture, so they had their own class memory game. I was invited into the classroom to see it when they'd made it. When DD was at nursery I couldn't afford to get chocolates etc for each of the teachers, so I bought a set of puppets from the charity shop I worked in at the time. DD's keyworker hugged me when she opened it.

There's no reason you HAVE to contribute to a collection. It's a shame that the teacher hasn't been good for your DC, that's a whole separate issue of course, but either way no, you certainly don't have to do what everyone else is doing, and yes, £10 is steep!

MiserlyMisery Tue 14-Jun-16 12:18:37

Oh and I've not been slagging her off in real life. I might have mentioned to a few other parents what has been happening to DS in the class and asking for their advice i.e. if it's normal here (I am an ex-pat) and I should leave it or if I should complain and how to go about it.

allegretto Tue 14-Jun-16 12:22:56

We always buy class presents but 2 pounds is plenty - the whole point of group presents is that you can still get something nice and spend less!

Susiebearlove Tue 14-Jun-16 12:25:07

Well may be this parent thinks this teacher has been good to her kids but fails to see that she's been a right fanny to others. I feel that you may feel obliged to contribute as not to ostracise yourself or your children so I'd try to reduce the amount requested. Is she a fickle person because something made by the children would be more appreciated (obviously by a nice person)

CeciCC Tue 14-Jun-16 12:28:19

We do class collections but they are voluntary, both to contribute and the amount to contribute. AT the end, whatever amount we have collected, gets divided between the T and TAs, teachers get more percentage and usually is vouchers and a Thank you card for each. Now, as not all the parents collect from school, we do write a message and sign the names of the kids whose parents have contributed.

namechangedtoday15 Tue 14-Jun-16 12:39:53

Class collections at Christmas and end of the school year here. £10 is generally "expected" - but some people give £5. Definitely has to be a note [shocked]. I was the class rep a few years ago, hated it, but there is almost an expectation from the other parents that the class rep will sort it. I think we collected £200+ at both Christmas and end of the school year.

TheNaze73 Tue 14-Jun-16 12:53:48

YANBU, what a load of bollocks

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