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AIBU? 14 year old job/chores

(10 Posts)
Noodlesg Tue 14-Jun-16 10:27:13

My son is almost 15, during summer break this year my husband and I only have 1 week off during which we will going away with the kids.

My Son is a very academic, sensible boy, my husband feels he is still too young to be left in the house alone from 8am - 3pm for 4 weeks of the holiday. (hes away with us one week and has football camp another leaving 4 weeks)

My mum lives a couple of streets away and will be looking after my daughter.

I've persuaded my husband my son can be left with my mum coming round a few times during the day (which she is happy to do)

HOWEVER my son has never had a job (I worked from age 13) and i'm worried he turns into an entitled lazy teenager. One of my friends owns a stall in a local indoor market, its dingy and a bit rough. My friend has kindly offered to give my son a job @ £3.87 per hour 5 days a week 4 hrs a day. My husband doesn't want him to work there as there are "too many dodgy characters frequent there" and my son visibly turned his nose up at it (my friend thankfully wasn't there when we discussed it).

I'm furious!!! ive said if he doesn't do it I will be leaving quite a long list of chores for him to do while we are at work, a couple of hours worth (loading unloading dishwasher, cleaning floors, walking dog, doing any shopping etc) and I expect to be coming home to a clean and tidy house.

My husband thinks im being harsh, he thinks as my son is well behaved and not given us a moments worry we should let him "enjoy his holidays" I think he could get up and have all that done by 11 am and have the entire rest of the day to play games consoles/football/whatever.

I think he needs to be equipped for adult life and I don't think 14/15 is too young to start taking on a little more responsibility.

so.... am I being a bit harsh and unreasonable or is what I am asking for totally reasonable?

Sonnet Tue 14-Jun-16 10:30:33

Totally reasonable. As a working parent to teens I expect them to do chores in the holidays and come back to a clean and tidy house.

EatShitDerek Tue 14-Jun-16 10:30:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AppleSetsSail Tue 14-Jun-16 10:32:45

It's not much money. Don't you think he should get closer to NMW?

Otherwise I think a stall is a great idea.

Noodlesg Tue 14-Jun-16 10:34:06

that IS NMW for his age

TheSparrowhawk Tue 14-Jun-16 10:34:53

It's a shame that he doesn't want to do the paid job - he clearly doesn't see the benefit of earning his own money, which shows a bit of immaturity IMO. But I wouldn't force him to do it, because you're foisting him on someone else.

As for the chores, the way I run things is my house is the same way as my own parents did it - that I am nobody's servant and that the house is everyone's responsibility. It was never a matter of my parents forcing me to do jobs, it was just that there were jobs to be done and someone had to do them. The idea that a capable 14 year old could sit on his arse and expect his washing done and his dinner served up to him is totally alien to me - my mother was not my servant, any job I could do for myself, I did for myself. At about 11 I started doing my own washing, at every dinner I either cooked or did the washing up - I basically did my fair share of whatever needed doing. It wasn't a matter of independence really, it was a matter of my parents not treating me like a guest in my own home.

Noodlesg Tue 14-Jun-16 10:36:12

oh actually there is no NMW for 14 or 15 (he will turn 15 near the end of the holidays) that's the NMW for 16years (every day is a school day for me haha)

AppleSetsSail Tue 14-Jun-16 10:36:45

I see.

Sonnet Tue 14-Jun-16 10:38:03

It is also about giving him ad "education for life" wink

TheSparrowhawk Tue 14-Jun-16 10:38:14

To add - I never resented one bit of it, because if I did my mother would quite rightly point out that she didn't expect me to wash her knickers so why should I expect her to wash mine? If I was at home all summer then there would be a complete expectation that I would do the vast majority of the housework. My parents wouldn't have to say it, I'd just do it. I wasn't ever at home all summer though - I got out and earned money as soon as I could as it was far better than staying at home washing socks!

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