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AIBU to be feeling so hurt and angry about these comments?

(102 Posts)
TFletchersWife Tue 14-Jun-16 09:23:05

My local town has created a Facebook event to hold a candlelight vigil for those lost in the Orlando massacre.

A lday has come onto the group and made the following comments;

Please don't misunderstand me when I say this. As all my Gay friends know, I love you all, and stand with you by your side against homophobia! However, there are thousands of Christians being murdered for their faith all over the world. Targeted for their way of life, men, women and children murdered and slaughtered for what they believe on a daily basis. LGBT are not the only group of people being targeted! Who's standing with us? Who is changing the colour of their profile pages to show their support. It goes un posted, and it goes unshared

Some people have said her comments are cold and she should simply remove herself from the group, rather than argue on this LGBT page.

She has now said

* I am as hurt by what has happened as all of you. And most of those involved were Christian. I am simply saying that this is a crime against Humanity. There is no need to single out one community*

I am absolutely livid. I am also trying to think of a response that doesn't come across as angry as I am.

I don't know whether I am overreacting and should just keep my mouth shut or whether I should tell her to f*ck off.

Even had a little cry in the car this morning.

Why are some people so cold?

I appreciate her views but to come on to a facebook page specifically to remember these people is just goady

SelfLoadingFreight Tue 14-Jun-16 09:30:49

She's right though, even if her post was ill considered.

loona13 Tue 14-Jun-16 09:36:54

She's got the point. People put flags in their profiles for America, France, Belgium, while elsewhere hundreds of people are being killed and nobody mentions it. Double standards.

Gazelda Tue 14-Jun-16 09:38:50

I'd try really hard to ignore the post, otherwise it will inevitably end in a row/heated debate which is not the purpose of the group.

Or if you feel it can't be left unchallenged, why don't you write the last sentence of your post above? Seems perfect.

Queenbean Tue 14-Jun-16 09:39:44

I would ignore her post. She is right though. But not the place to say it.

TFletchersWife Tue 14-Jun-16 09:41:36

But isn't she making an assumption that everyone in that group has NOT changed their profile pictures and shown support for Pairs, Belgium, Syria etc?

Has she created a vigil event for her causes? Does she know that we haven't created a vigil event for her causes?

PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 14-Jun-16 09:42:59

She's correct. She chose a ridiculous time to say it though, silly woman. She may not have meant to be 'goady' though, just trying to make people think about what she was saying.

liz70 Tue 14-Jun-16 09:44:01

You might also remind her of all the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people who've been tortured and murdered over the centuries in the name of Christ. But hey, if we're talking mass slaughter top trumps, lets bring a few Communist leaders in, shall we. And so it goes on... Let's face it, humans have never needed much of an excuse to destroy each other and everything else. sad.

I agree with you, but I would just try to ignore her myself. flowers

123therearenomoreusernames Tue 14-Jun-16 09:44:34

I think by mentioning Christians she is kind of defeating her own argument. Every person killed whether by guns, violence, poverty etc etc was once a child who was loved and nurtured by someone.

I understand what she's saying I agree it's probably wrong time and place to post it.
flowersfor anyone affected or grieving.

FlyingElbows Tue 14-Jun-16 09:45:12

He post is ill judged but she has a point. These tragic events just bring out the tragedy porn junkies, people who live to jump on a "cause" they wouldn't otherwise give a second's thought to. Nobody's changing their profile pic in support of the dirt poor people living in terror under isis rule but give them a nice white minority group and they're all over that. Ofcourse it's awful and horrific whoever is the victim but some victims seem to be more popular than others. She should not have brought that issue up on that post though, it's a topic for a separate debate.

Waltermittythesequel Tue 14-Jun-16 09:45:16

She might have a point but yes her timing leaves a lot to be desired.

However, unless you lost someone in the shooting, crying about it is a bit OTT.

RiverTam Tue 14-Jun-16 09:47:36

Agree with others, she's not wrong. Not the best time to say it perhaps - or maybe it is, I don't know. I wouldn't fancy bei a Christian in many parts of the world any more than I'd fancy being gay in those (same) areas.

louisagradgrind Tue 14-Jun-16 09:50:16

She is right. It is a crime against humanity and should be recognised as such. If not, there is always the chance that some people will go about saying that it was 'just' a crime against a specific group.

Another night club was targeted in France a little while ago-another crime against humanity: Was that so very different?

I think we all have to start thinking in terms of crimes against all of us, in order to make sure that we all stand together. People of every group and shade are being murdered by terrorists. That is the common denominator.

Why did it make you cry?

TFletchersWife Tue 14-Jun-16 09:51:48

My tears weren't so much for the people who died but the cold comments being made following the massacre.

MrsGuyOfGisbo Tue 14-Jun-16 09:53:20

tragedy porn junkies, people who live to jump on a "cause" they wouldn't otherwise give a second's thought to. Nobody's changing their profile pic in support of the dirt poor people living in terror under isis rule but give them a nice white minority group and they're all over that.

Abraiid1 Tue 14-Jun-16 09:53:42

I suspect she is talking about ISIL, not communists, Liz.

Treatment of Christians has been dreadful. Horrible torturing and murder.

But this was not the place to mention it.

kitchenunit Tue 14-Jun-16 09:53:56

well it's true, but it's not really the time or the place to say it.

Are you personally affected by the Orlando massacre?

araiba Tue 14-Jun-16 09:55:12

its not a competition

id be strongly tempted to tell her where to shove her comments

seeing as christians are amongst the largest groups of people that persecute the lgbt community, her comments are ill advised

pictish Tue 14-Jun-16 09:55:16

Agree with the others - she is right, but that wasn't the time or the place to state it.

TFletchersWife Tue 14-Jun-16 09:55:21

But I don't understand. Is it not moral to hold a vigil for people who are part of your "community"? I held a vigil for a lot of the other terrorist attacks such as Paris and Turkey.

If it's a minority group involved does that mean that I shouldn't support it and simply remain unbiased?

newroundhere Tue 14-Jun-16 09:55:45

The problem with the fb post is that the person has objected to supporting one group (LBGT) by pointing out atrocities against another (Christians). Fact is there are atrocities committed every day against all sorts of people everywhere based on religion, race, gender, appearance, beliefs, orientation, nationality, political views, what football team you support, or no reason at all. Sympathising with one doesn't mean you are unsympathetic to the others, just that your sympathy happens to be focused somewhere specifically. People tend to be more empathetic to situations that are close (family, friends, community, geography) and that have more direct impact on them ("it could've been me, my brother, my child, my friend") - that's just human nature.

If she wants to start a page supporting Christians targeted by violence then she can but this attack seems to have been focused on LBGT community, regardless of their religion, race or anything else.

ArmySal Tue 14-Jun-16 09:56:03

I agree with her sentiment, although it may not have been the best time to mention it.

RaeSkywalker Tue 14-Jun-16 09:59:47

The post was in poor taste. Yes, it was a crime against humanity, but it was primarily a crime against the LGBT community. We shouldn't be minimising that. This tragedy is an opportunity to look at LGBT issues and homophobia generally, we shouldn't shy away from that. We'd be doing a disservice to the victims and their families if we did.

She does have a point- some tragedies get more airtime than others. She chose the wrong forum to air her views in my opinion.

blindsider Tue 14-Jun-16 10:00:44

Not sure whey you are getting so upset she is spot on. Frankly all this turning FB profiles rainbow colours is just virtue signalling and does absolutely nothing to help.

liz70 Tue 14-Jun-16 10:01:39

Yes, I know that, Abraiid - I was just pointing out the pointlessness and inappropriateness of trying to play killing top trumps, on this occasion, or any other, for that matter.

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