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'Stocking filler' contact in phone

(127 Posts)
Yummymummy159 Mon 13-Jun-16 23:41:18

So back when I was 39 weeks prego I noticed my OH had texted a contact called 'stocking filler' saying 'happy birthday my little treasure have an amazing day you deserve it xxx'. Managed to work out it was someone who he slept with about 2 and a half years ago by stalking birthdays on Facebook but he still classes her as a close friend (even though I have never met her and we have been together 2 years?) she replied saying they should go for drinks with loads of kisses. So it was my birthday a few days later I didn't get the good morning text (he sets off at 5am) no massive fuss no nothing. My mum had been and got the present from him and he had given her the money like he put in no effort what so ever. I didn't say anything about 'stocking filler' texts despite it pissing me off and her contact name sounding dirty somehow? Anyway fast forward to yesterday. Looking for a contact in his messages so I can ask about a bbq at the weekend and I notice she has texted him since. Had a look and it said 'can't believe you've become a dilf already then the love heart eye emoji a few times when do I get to meet the little man. Can't wait to have a cuddle <3 <3 xxxxxxxx' literally that many kisses like I was a bit horrified. I also thought it was a bit inappropriate to be calling him a dilf when they were seeing each other just before me and OH got together? Am I being over sensitive or would you kick off over this? OH is quite a jealous person and I know he wouldn't like it if it was the other way around

PaulAnkaTheDog Mon 13-Jun-16 23:44:05

How did you see his messages when you were looking through his contacts?

Thunderbumsmum Mon 13-Jun-16 23:46:31

Wow, that certainly sounds inappropriate. Are they both very young?

Princesspinkgirl Mon 13-Jun-16 23:47:45

Regardless of how you came across it I would defenitly confront your Oh because it is bothering you and you can't just leave it that way talk it through with him if he says why was you in my phone I would reply I just used it and found such and such

apatheticfallacy Mon 13-Jun-16 23:47:53

He's jealous because he's not faithful.

NovemberInDailyFailLand Mon 13-Jun-16 23:50:33

I'd imagine she looked through the messages because he'd already given her excellent cause to be suspicious. And continues to do so, it seems.

This doesn't look innocent at all, OP. Sorry.

HatHardOn Mon 13-Jun-16 23:51:10

I'd put his balls in a blender. And she sounds terribly skanky, certainly wouldn't be letting her near my child for a cuddle while she's weaselling her way into his dad's pants.

HopeArden Mon 13-Jun-16 23:51:54

I think him receiving and sending messages like that is totally inappropriate. I would tell him to end all contact with her, but I suspect he would lie and carry on regardless because he has already been deceitful. You shouldn't have to tell him not to be in contact - he knows it is wrong and clearly doesn't care! He should be pouring all his efforts into his relationship with you. He isn't, so time to reassess where you want to go with this.

ilovesooty Mon 13-Jun-16 23:53:10

What's a dilf?

MarcelineTheVampire Mon 13-Jun-16 23:54:11

'Dad I'd Like to Fuck' I assume.

ilovesooty Mon 13-Jun-16 23:55:15

Thanks hmm

Inertia Mon 13-Jun-16 23:58:17

You're probably under-reacting. All of it is completely inappropriate.

I can't work out whether the OW is discussing your child in their tawdry texting(which would be bad enough), or whether it's some kind of horrendously stomach-churning double entendre.

I do think you need to prepare an action plan, because this man doesn't consider himself to be your partner.

MumOnACornishFarm Tue 14-Jun-16 00:01:23

He's a shit, sorry OP. It's completely inappropriate and shady. Sending her that birthday message was bad enough, then sending you nothing makes it look even worse. I would confront him, though I would also try and be prepared to be lied to, because he sounds deceitful, and she clearly does not give a flying fuck that he should be unavailable. I'm so sorry.

MyKingdomForBrie Tue 14-Jun-16 00:01:43

'I was looking for a contact in his messages' - pretty clear that she was looking in his messages for a contact not looking in his contacts list. Also pretty irrelevant.

OP I would be utterly furious in your shoes, this is inappropriate and I would wonder what else he is writing to her that she so openly avows a wish to fuck him.

ColdCottage Tue 14-Jun-16 00:04:04

Calling her "little treasure" is odd/off but I read the love heart eyes as being directed towards your cute baby as she wants a cuddle.

I wouldn't be too worried if it was my DP as I trust him and would assume it was innocent, therefore I'd have no problem raising it with him as a little odd so I could understand their relationship better.
Communication is always the best way I think. Trust your gut but go into the conversation with an open mind. Good luck.

NovemberInDailyFailLand Tue 14-Jun-16 00:11:08

'Little treasure'? 'Stocking Filler'? - i.e. a 'little extra just for fun'?

There really isn't any explanation for this that isn't either a) incriminating or b) bull.

randomcatname Tue 14-Jun-16 00:31:27

Nope I wouldn't like this one little bit if it were my dp. Sorry OP. Even if there's nothing going on between them, it's still highly inappropriate.

GarlicSteak Tue 14-Jun-16 00:42:07

He's jealous because he's not faithful.

This. I'm truly sorry, OP, it looks like you're in for a bumpy ride.

byjimminey Tue 14-Jun-16 01:34:57

Oh dear. They both sound as bad as each other. Hmm.

IceRoadDucker Tue 14-Jun-16 08:30:59

He's jealous because he's not faithful.

Yep. He will lie if you confront him, OP.

Penfold007 Tue 14-Jun-16 08:41:56

You already have trust issues hence the looking through his phone. It doesn't look good, he will minimise and lie.

MrTCakes Tue 14-Jun-16 08:55:48

I wouldn't call someone who was just a friend a 'dilf'. (Or anyone else for that matter, ugh.)

TooLazyToWriteMyOwnFuckinPiece Tue 14-Jun-16 09:00:23

Yuk

WellErrr Tue 14-Jun-16 09:03:15

1 - he's shagging her. Or has been.

2 - why on earth haven't you said anything?

Sorry OP flowers

228agreenend Tue 14-Jun-16 09:15:30

Doesn't look good. Far too intimate. Does the meeting to meet baby include you?

Confront dh!

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