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To dread Father's Day?

(13 Posts)
YourHandInMyHand Sun 12-Jun-16 22:04:15

and feel rather jealous of people with lovely dads?

My dad is an abusive, alcoholic paedophile who I've had no contact with since I turned 18 fourteen years ago.

People who have lovely dads are so lucky. sad Yes, I am jealous. sad

Seeing the word Dad everywhere makes me so anxious, I had a full blown panic attack last year.

blondieblondie Sun 12-Jun-16 22:09:06

Of course Yanbu. I'm sorry you have gone through that. Can you plan to do something really nice for yourself that day? (Or your mum if you're close to her?) A pamper day and some lunch? Something to take your mind off it slightly.

YumBountyChoc Sun 12-Jun-16 22:10:59

YANBU, I know the feeling my dad is a narcissistic, emotionally and physically abusive bastard who refuses to work and thinks the world owes him a favour because he was in the army for 2 years 25 years ago!

I don't dread it anymore though because I have my lovely DH, who's a fantastic dad to our 11.5month old and my FIL, who's brilliant and has treated me like his family since the start of mine and now DHs relationship 4 years ago. I make the day special for them.

Barmaid101 Sun 12-Jun-16 22:14:17

I had that growing up with Mother's Day, my mum died when I was little. Just one of those things you need to get on with. One day things will change, I have now had two Mother's Day as a mother and it's great.

YourHandInMyHand Sun 12-Jun-16 22:16:11

I am separated from DS's dad and he won't be seeing DS next weekend (his choice!).

I now have a nice partner who is great with DS, but he has a lovely dad himself and will no doubt be wanting to take him out on the Sunday for a few beers in the afternoon.

I might go on a day out with DS I think. Last year I told myself I'd book a weekend away but then I forgot.

YourHandInMyHand Sun 12-Jun-16 22:17:24

I'm sorry for the other's who struggle with or have struggled with Father's Day or Mother's Day. It's a tough one.

bingandflop Sun 12-Jun-16 22:19:45

Yes i dread fathers day because my father is dead. Sorry to us all, we all have our reasons

Namechanger2015 Sun 12-Jun-16 22:25:39

I'm in the same boat as ExH doesn't want to see his 3 daughters in Fathers Day.

So I'm going to DD3s nursery Father's Day event in his place, and we are having a nice Fathers Day dinner with my dad who is amazing with my DDs. But I really don't know how the children will feel about not seeing their dad on that day. He didn't see them last year either despite them asking so they may be expecting the same.

I don't know whether to take them out myself and make a nice day of it or just have them call him, and listen him be his usual disinterested self. He doesn't do Father Day and won't call them for it.

My oldest is 8 so it's hard for her to hear emotionally speaking.

So I see where you are coming from. Father's Day sucks for my lovely DC too sad

snailracer Sun 12-Jun-16 22:25:43

Im I'm dreading it too. I have a four month old DD that ive not seen in two months because her Mum won't let me , and a DS who passed away a few years ago sad

Namechanger2015 Sun 12-Jun-16 22:26:49

I meant to say YANBU.

Sorry your dad was so awful flowers

blondieblondie Sun 12-Jun-16 22:30:35

My parents died when I was young, but I can see how it could be harder in these circumstances. At least those of us without parents have some happy memories (I hope) I was brought up by my aunt and uncle and as much as I love them, i know we'll never have the same bond that others have with their parents. My "dad" was actually my stepdad, but that was never actually told to me until I was 17, and I never felt loved by him. I don't know who my bio dad is, so Father's Day is a weird one, but hopefully I'll spend some time with my uncle on the day, or close to it.

hidingwithwine Sun 12-Jun-16 22:34:11

I'm dreading it this year as its the first without my dad. I've come off Facebook as I am just trying to ignore it, have told the teens to deal with getting their dad something this year and told DH to sort of his dad/stepdad.

I was lucky to have had a great dad, but Jesus it's hard without him around.

YourHandInMyHand Sun 19-Jun-16 22:35:39

Well I made it through, had a little cry in the car at one point but have tried to keep busy and that's helped.

I hope everyone else who wasn't looking forward to it didn't find it too hard.

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