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ABIU for telling her she can't see her grandson.

(101 Posts)
Mummytomydumplingxx Sun 12-Jun-16 19:37:03

My OH mother smashed up mothers day stuff from DD over a blow up bed am I being ABIU for telling her that is disgusting for her to do that and take it out on a 5 months old baby for an argument over a blow up bed?

ThePinkOcelot Sun 12-Jun-16 19:38:48

Yes, I agree disgusting behaviour but why did you get your OHs mother something for Mother's Day from your dd?

Mummytomydumplingxx Sun 12-Jun-16 19:42:45

I got her something because I was brought up with getting my nan and mum stuff for mothers day and as it was the first mothers day as a 1st time grandma I thought it would be nice and something for her to remember the day for she also smashed the stuff I get her for her bday from DS

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sun 12-Jun-16 19:44:45

Bit confused. You had an argument with her about a blow up bed. In anger, she smashed up stuff her son, your partner, had given her as a mother's day present, that for some reason he gave as being from her 5 month old grand daughter?

On the basis of this outburst, you want to stop her from seeing your son. Seems reasonable. Surely you wont be doing anything though. Surely your partner will be telling her she isn't allowed near his children. Why are you even involved in this? His mum, his kids, his mother's day present, his partner mistreated.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sun 12-Jun-16 19:46:10


Why are you buying it though. What's wrong with your DP's buying abilities?

MIL sound like a loon though, I'd stay well away from her. Is she a drinker?

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn Sun 12-Jun-16 19:46:21

You haven't really given much information. Is this going to amount to massive drip feeding?

Mummytomydumplingxx Sun 12-Jun-16 19:46:42

I brought the mothers day gifts

LineyReborn Sun 12-Jun-16 19:47:50

Was alcohol involved?

BillSykesDog Sun 12-Jun-16 19:48:26

I doubt a five month old baby is in the slightest bit bothered about her Mother's Day gift so I wouldn't say she was 'taking it out on a 5 month old baby at all'.

What was the argument about the blow up bed about specifically?

LineyReborn Sun 12-Jun-16 19:49:56

Well indeed, she was taking it out - whatever it was - on you, OP.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sun 12-Jun-16 19:51:46

Hold on this is twice she's done this. Smashed up things that you have bought her. Regardless what it is over. She's acting like a 5 year old. I mean she's smashing up objects. The next thing could be losing it with one of your dcs. I wouldn't trust her.
YDNBU, and it goes without saying, but don't be wasting any more money on here. That's all it is "a waste". If she's just throwing things around.

Mummytomydumplingxx Sun 12-Jun-16 19:53:39

She doesn't drink and it isn't that fact about DS age it's the fact that she had this argument with her son my OH and then she smashed up the stuff from DS and sent us a photo showing what she did. Then continues to text OH telling him he is dead to her and me and OH have recently moved into out own flat together and we borrowed ot off them untill we had gotten our own bed this we over a month ago she never bothered making contact with us untill today and had ago at him. She lives about 35 mins away by car and hasn't bothered coming around to see DS or us

BillSykesDog Sun 12-Jun-16 20:03:46

She does sound bonkers, but you do seem to be (deliberately?) leaving a lot of context out over this which makes me wonder what the background is.

What exactly is it she's so cross about?

Mummytomydumplingxx Sun 12-Jun-16 20:09:35

I'm not leaving anything out tbh she phoned about the blow up bed and because we didn't tell her when we didn't need it about 2days ago she had a massive ago at OH then sent pics of the smashed up gifts that pissed my off so I texted her and told her that it was disgusting of her to take it out on a 5 month old baby

Kenduskeag Sun 12-Jun-16 20:09:48

It's not massively confusing to people that a grandparent got some Mother's Day gifts, is it? It isn't uncommon.

Smashing up the gifts is pretty shitty, and she doesn't sound particularly safe to be around children.

Mummytomydumplingxx Sun 12-Jun-16 20:12:22

From what my OH has told me about her when he was living at home she gets worked up over everything starts hitting walls and throwing things I have only seen her 4 times and she has only bothered to see DS once since born in have offered to take him to see her and she cancelled the day before I was taking him to her

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Sun 12-Jun-16 20:14:54

Mother's Day wasmonths ago! confused

airforsharon Sun 12-Jun-16 20:17:47

So is she cross because she needed the blow up bed back asap, but you hadn't told her you'd finished with it?

Well whatever the reason, if it's true she's been like this for years - over-reacting, throwing things around when angry - she's hardly a good role model for your dcs, and could well frighten them witless if she behaves like that in front of them. So I don't think YABU to say she can't see them.

But you need to let your OH deal with her - his mother etc

Lottielo Sun 12-Jun-16 20:18:31

Why is she so angry about the blow up bed? Is it just because you stopped using it a couple of days ago and didn't tell her, or did you damage it? Did she need it back quickly?

Sounds like pretty extreme behaviour over a blow up bed.

Mummytomydumplingxx Sun 12-Jun-16 20:18:38

In all honesty the only thing she can be so cross about is that we didn't tell her right aways when we was done with the blow up bed as she hasn't contacted us even when OH invited them around last Saturday she didn't bother replying so all this is really over a blow up bed it confuses my aswell how someone can get so mad over something so small

dustarr73 Sun 12-Jun-16 20:19:11

I think Mothers day is this weekend in America.

Mummytomydumplingxx Sun 12-Jun-16 20:20:06

The reason we borrowed the blow up bed is because they never used it so they wouldnot need it the bed is isn't the same condition it was when we lent it

Lordamighty Sun 12-Jun-16 20:22:00

She sounds unhinged OP. Don't ever buy her another thing & save your money for your DS.

Mummytomydumplingxx Sun 12-Jun-16 20:22:46

What I was thinking when I told her that she can't see DS again is that if she can get so mad over a blow up bed what would she be like she a screaming baby around her would I come back to him being hurt because she got annoyed with him

TrinityForce Sun 12-Jun-16 20:23:46

well if she doesn't bother coming to see him, telling her she can't see her grandson isn't going to do much, is it?

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