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...to ask for money again?

(68 Posts)
Nessalina Sun 12-Jun-16 15:04:47

Six couples and their kids (one a piece) had planned a weekend camping, but hideous weather put us off at the last minute, and one of the couples offered up her brothers cottage in the Lakes as an alternative location. However the cottage could only sleep 4 couples, so the option of us finding a B&B or something for the overflow was floated. I found a caravan park nearby where we could hire a 4-bed caravan for £200 for the two nights, and said I didn't mind us doing that with one other couple that we see a bit more of, so know quite well.
One of these DFs piped up (this is all being sorted over Facebook messenger) and says would the people staying for free be OK to chip in for the paid accommodation, and other couples said 'of course', but no more detail were gone into.
The weekend is now over, lovely time had by all, and we've all gone home. Money has not been mentioned at all, and me and DH have paid the full £200 for the caravan, the weekend hasn't cost anyone else anything.
I feel like I need to broach the money thing, but I don't know how much is fair to ask people to pay, and if I should indicate an amount and ask for it, or just ask people to chip in whatever. I hate asking for money and DH says we should just leave it, but it is a lot to just shrug off.
Thoughts on how to work a non-confrontational, non-grabby message???

RebelRogue Sun 12-Jun-16 15:06:56

Tbh i'd only ask the other couple that shared the caravan for money.

Nocabbageinmyeye Sun 12-Jun-16 15:08:49

I would ask the other couple for £100 they owe but but not mention it to the other couples, you volunteered to go to the caravan, although it may have been nice had they all gone ahead and contibuted there is no way you can ask without it looking cheeky

Orda1 Sun 12-Jun-16 15:09:51

Why rebel? I think the cost should be spli between everyone bar the couple with brothers cottage.

VioletBam Sun 12-Jun-16 15:10:14

Did the couple you shared with not offer?

Bearbehind Sun 12-Jun-16 15:12:28

If it was agreed in advance that the costs would be split between the 6 couples the just send a message saying 'Thanks for a great weekend all, could you send the £33 for the paid accomodation to this bank account'

FusionChefGeoff Sun 12-Jun-16 15:31:59

Just because you ended up in the caravan, I don't think it's fair that you have to pay for it!!

Especially as it was mentioned, and agreed, that everyone would chip in.

Agree you just need to be factual and ask on the group 'thanks for a lovely weekend and also thanks for agreeing to chip in so we don't get stung as the only ones who had to pay for the weekend!! It was £200 which makes it £66 per couple so here's bank details for transfer. Hope that's ok'

FusionChefGeoff Sun 12-Jun-16 15:32:29

Ignore my maths!

PaulDacreCuntyMcCuntFace Sun 12-Jun-16 15:36:54

Send Fusion's text but with the correct figures grin

youarenotkiddingme Sun 12-Jun-16 15:41:07

Yeah I'd send the nice message without the profit making figures!

You got a caravan, they got a cottage. I'd be damned if I'd be paying more than my fair share.

gamerchick Sun 12-Jun-16 15:44:45

I'd send fusions text as it is, so when each couple correct it they're engaged and cant ignore it then wink

rookiemere Sun 12-Jun-16 16:03:52

I would put out a message and say that your credit card bill has arrived so can people contact you to get your bank details to put in their share.
I'd leave the amount blank that way they'll have to ask and that's when you say " so before we agreed to split it so I make it XX each does that sound right?"
I certainly wouldn't be carrying the full cost of £200, at a very minimum I'd expect £100 from the other couple sharing, but as there is a prior agreement with all the couples then you should only be paying your share of that.

TiredOfSleep Sun 12-Jun-16 16:07:27

Definitely ask everyone - it's only just over £30 per couple vs a steep £200 for just you! And you had the inconvenience of not being on site and having to book etc.

zoobaby Sun 12-Jun-16 16:11:41

Oooh. Tricky. I'd probably approach it by posting a group message asking about the agreement to split costs and whether they meant it. I'd look for peer pressure to come into force, hoping that the first to reply would say "yes of course, how much shall I send?". If they ignored it or refused I'd bitterly suck it up and never agree to that again.

LauderSyme Sun 12-Jun-16 16:14:49

Maybe you could message them all in more general terms first before mentioning actual figures? It only seems fair that everyone should contribute to the cost of the caravan. They did say they would, and it's a bit rubbish of them to have put you in this position.
Could you acknowledge your embarrassment about bringing it up so that you can move beyond it? Something like "Hi guys I feel a bit cringe about having to mention this but as you know DH and I paid £200 for the caravan". Go on to ask them what they think would be a reasonable breakdown of the costs, given the 2 couples in the caravan and the 4 in the cottage?
It would be incredibly rude if they just bare-faced ignored your message so hopefully their replies will get the ball rolling towards you getting some actual moolah!

AndNowItsSeven Sun 12-Jun-16 16:18:00

Bit late know but surely a blow up bed or the couch in the cottage would have made more sense.

Nessalina Sun 12-Jun-16 16:19:43

Not sure if I should give a couple of day's grace to give people time to come forward... The couple we shared with are a bit stretched at the minute, so I wouldn't ask them for £100, it doesn't seem fair really. We spoke about it between us and said we'd wait until the others had chipped in before I let them know what they owe.
I do kinda feel that the couples all together got the better deal coz we had to drive to them, so someone had to be designated driver. It's not as if there were any cheaper options we could have used either.

Nessalina Sun 12-Jun-16 16:20:36

One of the couples in the cottage were on a blow up bed in the lounge as it's three bedrooms.

GrumpyOldBag Sun 12-Jun-16 16:42:33

if this was agreed in advance then just be straight about it - I expect the others just forgot and will be happy to pay the share you agreed.

Jinxxx Sun 12-Jun-16 16:54:52

I think I'd be a bit peed off if you asked me for money if my brother had provided the cottage for nothing and I had been generous enough to share it. I'd think the others might offer something. There are cottages and cottages though. I might think you had a better deal than me with four bedrooms between two couples while I was on a blow up bed in the cottage. Very tricky.

MimiSunshine Sun 12-Jun-16 16:59:09

presumably camping wasn't going to be free as you all would have had to pay to pitch so those in the cottage have benefitted but you have spent £200 so don't think it's a problem at all to ask for the money as pre-agreed.

I'd just text as others have said (do you all have WhatsApp, much easier to set up a group and check message has been received as well as keep the conversation contained and on track) with:
'fab weekend everyone, glad we could all get away in the end despite the weather ruining the camping plans. Would you guys be able to transfer £33 per couple to me to this week to cover the cost of the caravan? Sort code / account number. Joan please thank your brother again for the free use of his cottage, he's a lifesaver. '

Coconutty Sun 12-Jun-16 16:59:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Becky546 Sun 12-Jun-16 17:00:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HiddenMeaning Sun 12-Jun-16 17:01:11

Next time make sure you properly discuss the figures beforehand. I love being wise after the event wink

I think I might go with a general message to everyone saying that you presume that the offers to split the cosy of the caravan were genuine and that it comes to an incredibly reasonably £33 per couple. It might be worth checking if there was any cost for the 'free' cottage such as a cleaning cost or a thankyou gift for the kind brother.

If each couple contributed £40 then you could use the extra £40 to buy a host gift.

RosieSW Sun 12-Jun-16 17:02:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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