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Inevitable Offer of Hug

(2 Posts)
ElinorRigby Sun 12-Jun-16 08:30:15

Going through period of attempted readjustment with husband at moment.

I can be quite reserved and when there are problems I'll often try and think them through by myself. At the same time if they're affecting my mood or might impact on my husband I'll usually give a brief indication that something is wrong. He's quite a practical type so likes making constructive suggestions.

There's a pattern where sometimes after a few days I'll realise that the problem is actually affecting me quite deeply and then I'll talk to my husband. To which his inevitable response is 'Probably you need a hug.'

It drives me mad. Because actually what I want is for him to listen and engage and realise why things are tricky. (Perhaps for him to have been better at listening in the first place.)

It makes me feel as if he sees me like a distressed kid that can be easily comforted. When actually I've been telling him about complicated problems at the workplace.

Would the rest of you be happy to accept the offered hug? Or might some of you be a bit irked by this inevitable response?

OhYouBadBadKitten Sun 12-Jun-16 08:38:47

Have you tried 'Do you mind if I talk and you just listen?' when about to unburden your thoughts to him?

dh was the same, he likes to solve things practically, it took years before he learned what I needed out of that sort of conversation.

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