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To Not Babysit?

(21 Posts)
BuggerOffItsMyTime Sat 11-Jun-16 17:56:38

I'll keep this as vague/non personal as possible as I don't know who's lurking!!

Myself and OH have toyed with the idea of going out tonight (we have a very flexible on site babysitter but we only go out, on average, about once a month) but we didn't have anything set in stone as OH job is unpredictable and they can be knackered/really late when they get in etc. We often just see how things pan out^^ and often don't bother.
So a friend of mine has just whatsapp'd me asking me to sit for their DC tonight.
It was at 4pm local time And they want me to come at 7pm. No prior warning.

I rang OH quickly to say B has just messaged etc, what do you think I should do?
They are a bit annoyed. I thought we were going out?
I'm a bit confused^Well we haven't actually organised anything or properly ran it past X (our sitter, but we do know they will be fine with it) ^
OH: well let's just go out then, we had already said we ^might and B doesn't know that we don't actually have reservations. Let's make some quick.
^
I feel a bit shitty but WA'd them back to say sorry, no can do because we are going out ourselves.

B has previous for landing stuff on you at the last minute. No warnings ever. Rings up to ask if they can pop over when they are^^ already only 10 seconds away from ringing the doorbell. Very little social etiquette in that they will traipse into the house and sit down even when they can see that I am plating up dinner.
They don't have family nearby and not sure if the other half of the couple (who I'm least close to) has friends they can call. I get the feeling I'm it when it comes to sitters.

WWYD? Am I being a douche for not babysitting?

Twinkie1 Sat 11-Jun-16 17:57:55

I'd go out.

Bonobosown Sat 11-Jun-16 17:58:32

Good lord no. It was at the last minute. And you already had plans.

In the nicest possible way, you are overthinking it. Enjoy your evening smile

of course not, enjoy your night out. They should have asked well in advance if they were that keen for their night out.

TowerRavenSeven Sat 11-Jun-16 18:03:25

Yanbu at all!! Just tell them sorry you are going out tonight...and then if it pans out fine and if you can't go out, oh well at least you are not babysitting at the last minute. Don't people white lie like this? I do all the time, in addition to not answering my door (or phone!)

I know you are trying to be nice, but you will be nicer if you without judgement answer, sorry but we need more notice. If people don't have the social skills, you are doing them a favor teaching them. Enjoy your evening!

expatinscotland Sat 11-Jun-16 18:04:58

Go out.

BuggerOffItsMyTime Sat 11-Jun-16 18:05:21

Can't help but feel a bit shitty though, I think they go out so rarely as it is.
It's made a bit more blush as I did offer to sit for them about 6 weeks ago but they never took me up on it.
It's not unreasonable to want a day or so notice is it?

expatinscotland Sat 11-Jun-16 18:06:38

Don't feel guilty.

RainbowJack Sat 11-Jun-16 18:10:02

B has previous for landing stuff on you at the last minute. No warnings ever. Rings up to ask if they can pop over when they are^ already only 10 seconds away from ringing the doorbell. Very little social etiquette in that they will traipse into the house and sit down even when they can see that I am plating up dinner.^

This would piss me off to no end.

Go out.

CigarsofthePharoahs Sat 11-Jun-16 18:13:40

You had plans. Ok, they weren't totally set in stone, but you had plans. If you're still feeling guilty tomorrow perhaps suggest a date to last minute friend that you are prepared to baby sit on so she can go out.
It's always been a puzzle to me how baffled some people are that a lot of people can't just drop everything when they plan things very last minute. I remember an acquaintance accusing me of not making an effort when I was told about a last minute event only the day before. I'd got plans I couldn't and didn't want to change. With a bit more notice I might have been able to, but that didn't occur to them.

PterodactylToenails Sat 11-Jun-16 18:23:40

It was last minute. I'd go out.

rookiemere Sat 11-Jun-16 18:24:15

Lord no - if you babysit all you're teaching B is that she can ask you at short notice and you'll do it.
I'd message back and say that you have plans for tonight - you'd be happy to babysit on another occasion but you do need a couple of days notice.

diddl Sat 11-Jun-16 18:26:37

YWNBU for not babysitting even if you weren't going out!

Monroe Sat 11-Jun-16 18:27:26

Absolutely not unreasonable to say no due to the short notice and the fact you were arranging to go out yourself.

But if you are feeling bad about it why not reply saying sorry, can't this time but if you want to arrange something for next weekend I'd be happy to (providing you would be)

starry0ne Sat 11-Jun-16 18:28:25

You should go out..You don't have to even explain where..Can't do tonight we are out ourselves xx

I agree with you trying to over think it ..You did plan to go out and not to sit at home babysitting someone else's child.. Why are your plans not as important as theirs.. If they had an event to go too they should of asked you weeks ago.

BuggerOffItsMyTime Sat 11-Jun-16 18:38:16

I'm glad I posted now, feel a little better and will offer to babysit in the coming week or so!
Right, I'm off to get ready. wine

EarthboundMisfit Sat 11-Jun-16 18:42:55

Absolutely no reason to feel guilty, you had plans.

MadamDeathstare Sat 11-Jun-16 18:48:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toomuchtooold Sat 11-Jun-16 18:55:46

We don't have any options for sitters where we are and if I had a friend like you who I trusted the kids with and who was willing to babysit, I would be a damn sight more careful not to piss her off. Go out!

NadiaWadia Sat 11-Jun-16 18:59:49

Absolutely no reason for you to feel bad. Unless it was an emergency, your friend should have given you a lot more notice than that. Very thoughtless of them, didn't they imagine you might have plans on a Saturday night yourselves?

BuggerOffItsMyTime Sun 12-Jun-16 10:44:22

We went out but it very nearly went pear shaped!
OH came home and asked if we were still going out ...?
I said yeah we are hmm?
OH said Ah, I told X that we probably wouldn't go out because you'd fall soft and tell B you could babysit after all. Did you honestly say no? Didn't think you would to be honest.

Quick calls were made and we went out, happily ever after, The End grin
And to top it off, because of the football, all of the restaurant and pubs were so quiet so we got served really quickly and had a great night.

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