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To not have sister to stay during DD's first week at nursery?

(57 Posts)
LadyAntonella Sat 11-Jun-16 15:56:33

My sister is at university and is sitting her last exam (of the year) in June. Dsis asked ages ago if she could come to stay with DH, DD and me for a few days after her exams finish which was (and is) fine with us. We are going on a short holiday starting one week after Dsis's last exam (this was booked long ago, before Dsis asked to come to stay; Dsis was aware of it) and DD (18mo) is due to start nursery the week after we get back.

I have told Dsis she can either come in the week immediately after her exam (before we go on holiday) or else after DD's first week at nursery. DSis is a bit miffed and said I am "making her wait too long". She doesn't want to stay with us immediately after her exam as she wants to spend that time with her bf. This is fair enough obviously, and I don't mind, but just think DD might find someone coming to stay a bit disruptive during her first week at nursery... Am I being massively precious? DD is my PFB so expect I might be! She does know my Dsis obviously but they haven't seen each other in person for a while.


Rumpelstiltskin143 Sat 11-Jun-16 15:58:01

Very, very precious.

PotteringAlong Sat 11-Jun-16 15:59:00

Shes 18 months old; not sitting her a-levels. It will be fine.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sat 11-Jun-16 15:59:57

Well obviously it's up to you to you when you schedule your visitors, but yes, I do think that's a touch PFB. I don't think having a visitor there will matter a bit - although it might be a nice distraction for you if you're anxious about DD going.

peasofcake Sat 11-Jun-16 16:01:55

You'll probably appreciate the extra support ime your likely to be more stressed than your DC. Having someone else to help you entertain them if they coming back clingy will also be a bonus and you have someone to go for a coffee date with while DC is at nursery!

MegaClutterSlut Sat 11-Jun-16 16:02:24

Massively PFB IMO, I would let your sis stay

LadyAntonella Sat 11-Jun-16 16:04:53

Sorry, just to clarify, I haven't told her not to come at all, I have said she can come the following week.

I know you're right though and I probably am just being overly anxious about DD starting nursery. I've been at home with her since she was born so it feels like a big step.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 11-Jun-16 16:05:25

Is your DD very anxious, shy, slow-approach? Because there are a very few children who would find this an issue.

Mine turned around, said, "bye bye mum" and never a backward glace. sad The population of London could have some to stay and she wouldn't have cared.

Roussette Sat 11-Jun-16 16:05:44

Gosh don't worry about it. If you are worked up about your DC going to nursery, to have your DSis to stay will be a welcome distraction and it means your PFB DD won't pick up on your nervousness. Kids are very adaptable - it's nice your DSis wants to come and stay!

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 11-Jun-16 16:05:56


cornishglos Sat 11-Jun-16 16:06:56


LadyAntonella Sat 11-Jun-16 16:07:46

No, not at all MrsTP. I imagine she will do exactly the same as yours! She is very sociable actually and seems quite confident.

fatmomma99 Sat 11-Jun-16 16:15:09

sorry, but it is a bit PFB (I'm like that too). HOWEVER, it is a big and momentous step in your dd's life/development, and I can understand your anticipating it and wanting to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible. You are allowed to be PFB, it's not a crime.

Agree with PPs who said it might be nice for you to have your Dsis around during that time, and I can think of several reasons for this:
* she can help you
* she can be a distraction for you if YOU'RE upset/emotional while your DD is away from you
* I imagine it might be very nice for your Dsis to be a part of this important step in your dd's life, and it might be a nice bonding thing for you all if she is there.

but at the end of the day, your house, your choice. You can put your foot down over this if you want, I'm sure your Dsis will get over it.

NavyAndWhite Sat 11-Jun-16 16:20:51

I cannot believe what I read on here sometimes.

Your DD will be just fine OP.
Why not make the most and go for lunch with sis while DD is at nursery cakebrew

LadyAntonella Sat 11-Jun-16 16:28:39

I do know you're right. Sorry - massive drip-feed; there is a bit of a back story to things that have happened re between Dsis and the rest of the family recently which I think makes me wary and anxious, but I do think I'm being overly so with this and it's because I'm a bit anxious about DD starting nursery.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sat 11-Jun-16 16:30:49

DD is 18 months old. She won't be wanting your undivided attention so she can give you a full breakdown of everything that happened today. She will probably be exhausted, will need extra cuddles and an early night.

You are clearly being all pfb so having your sister around might be a good thing to stop you getting into a tailspin.

I expect the following week will be worse because DD will likely have picked up some bug from eating other toddlers' bogies at nursery or whatever horrific stuff toddlers do with each others' bodily fluids. Like the classic full power snot blast sneeze right in your face from an inch away. Mutual toy licking is always popular too. All three of mine got everything going for the first couple of months. With the second two DC I planned accordingly. I think sister for the first week is fine.

Iguessyourestuckwithme Sat 11-Jun-16 16:31:22

DD is starting nursery; full time? part time? 2 mornings a week?

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 11-Jun-16 16:32:36

God yes, get ready for the snot-storm. Nurseries are like Petri dishes.

LadyAntonella Sat 11-Jun-16 16:32:59

She's doing two days a week.

AndNowItsSeven Sat 11-Jun-16 16:33:33

Is the a reverse?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sat 11-Jun-16 16:33:38

Ah, x-post.

Is DSis an entitled princess who needs to be waited upon?

If DSis is generally good for your mental health, then have her around, she'll be good for you.

If DSis is the type to stamp her little feet to always get her own way, stick to your offer as stated, i.e. make her wait.

TwoLittleBlooms Sat 11-Jun-16 16:33:39

As fatmomma99 says, it isn't a crime to be PFB! It is perfectly OK!

Also, it is your home and your sister sounds a bit like an 3 year old demanding to stay at a certain time - I think at 18 YEARS+ then she is more than capable of waiting an extra week and if not let her use it as a wonderful chance to learn a little bit of patience!! A trait that will go a long way in the real world!

EatShitDerek Sat 11-Jun-16 16:36:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyAntonella Sat 11-Jun-16 16:36:20

Sorry should have said she is a mature student (well not exactly ancient haha - she's thirty).

museumum Sat 11-Jun-16 16:37:22

When ds started nursery and moved nursery when we moved house I preferred to have that first week to establish a routine, learn how long it took to get there, when we needs to get up to get me to work on time etc. I would have asked visitors to find the week after if possible, why not? It's a visitor on a random week, no visitor had a right to demand which week they're invited for, partic of no special date involved (birthday, Xmas etc).

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