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to ask if this is a weird way to 'do' kids bedtime?

(205 Posts)
alificent Fri 10-Jun-16 23:52:27

After browsing Facebook and reading other threads on here tonight, I've noticed lots of people saying about having put the kids to bed ages ago but them still crashing around, having to keep going up to them etc.

I read to all my DC together then give the middle ones different books to look at while I take the eldest to her room and tuck her in. I have a little chat with her then I sit in the room with the middle DC and breastfeed the baby. Within ten minutes they are all asleep. It never occurred to me to 'leave them to it' until they ask for me to do so. Does anyone else do bedtime like this or am I in the minority?

OhForFrigSake Fri 10-Jun-16 23:55:05

So basically you sit with your kids until they fall asleep? Not weird but personally after a long day working, playing with them and feeling shattered I like to leave them to self settle so I can enjoy an hour or two of grown up time.

Senpai Fri 10-Jun-16 23:57:36

I had to put my foot down and teach mine that bedtime is bedtime. I don't go in every two minutes to settle her. She knows the rules.

NarkyKnockers Fri 10-Jun-16 23:58:09

I assume other people do similar but their children don't go to sleep as well as yours. I'm not sure what you mean by leaving them to it?

NarkyKnockers Fri 10-Jun-16 23:59:54

Ah I see. If you weren't bfing word you still sit with them? I've always tried to put mine down awake even from babies.

MaisieDotes Sat 11-Jun-16 00:00:09

I just use a catapult to hurl them in the general direction of upstairs.

TheSnowFairy Sat 11-Jun-16 00:00:20

That's fine but mine are 8, 11 & 14 so yes, there is a bit of 'leaving them to it" with a lot of reminders encouragement!

And no, they don't all go up at the same time - 14 yo DS1 would be (rightly) outraged grin

alificent Sat 11-Jun-16 00:00:52

I get that time too Frig but can relax better knowing they're already asleep before going downstairs rather than wondering what they're up to.

DancingDinosaur Sat 11-Jun-16 00:01:07

Crikey, after a long hard day at work I send the kids the bed and leave them to it. If they're crashing around I tell them to get back into bed. I don't sit with them until they sleep.

MrsSpecter Sat 11-Jun-16 00:01:25

Its not what I do.

When my DC shared a room i would read to them and then it was sleep time but they fucked about something serious. I was forever going up and giving off to them to stop carrying on and messing. Ever since they had separate rooms i would read to them together and then send whoever into their own room and they would read by themselves and just settle to sleep without any crap.

DeadGood Sat 11-Jun-16 00:01:39

Lol at Maisie

alificent Sat 11-Jun-16 00:02:06

Yes Narky I'd still stay if they wanted me to. It only takes ten minutes at most so I don't see the problem.

AppleMagic Sat 11-Jun-16 00:02:59

It sounds lovely but there's no way mine would fall asleep if I was sat in the middle of the room hence why I "leave them to it" (and they fall asleep in 5mins wink).

DC1: Coerce upstairs, negotiate bath, persuade into pjs, take part in long drawn out game of 'how long can I stay awake', read stories, sing songs, hold hands, stroke back. Repeat. Get banana and milk. Repeat. Move duvet one millimetre to the left. Repeat (all whilst screaming internally 'how the fook did I end up in this godforsaken 'routine'?)

DC2: change nappy. Place in cot. Say 'night night'. Leave.

I know which I prefer!

alificent Sat 11-Jun-16 00:03:18

But surely ten mins of sitting with them is easier than the stress of moaning at them Dinosaur?

DancingDinosaur Sat 11-Jun-16 00:04:38

No, it would prolong the agony. Because they wouldn't fall asleep with me there in 10 minutes.

twirlypoo Sat 11-Jun-16 00:05:23

Ds would never sleep if I was there.... He would talk to me. Lots. I do story in bed with a cuddle, then a story on the landing so I can get out of the room and escape his clutches and then he just goes to sleep himself. I wouldn't wait for him to goto sleep with me there as we went through that phase before and if he woke in the night he needed me to resettle him as he didn't know how.

NeeNahh Sat 11-Jun-16 00:06:30

My grandma used to sit with me and my sister til we slept and it was lovely. It just felt more peaceful somehow. My mum didn't and me and my sister shared a room so we'd stay up for ages playing and giggling.

MrsSpecter Sat 11-Jun-16 00:08:52

I have a friend who lies down with her DD(10) to get her to sleep and complains that her DD takes ages to sleep because she talks and talks and talks. In my mind there is a simple solution to that- stop lying down with her and she'll have no-one to talk to!

DancingDinosaur Sat 11-Jun-16 00:08:52

In fairness most of the time they do fall asleep quite quickly on their own. Apart from Friday nights. When they obviously have that Friday feeling. And then they think they should go to bed late as they can get up late. As they constantly tell me every Friday morning before they even get to school. hmm

Bonobosown Sat 11-Jun-16 00:13:44

Why the debate? Each to their own.

Cheby Sat 11-Jun-16 00:16:42

I sit with DD until she falls asleep. Takes 10
minutes max. I get a peaceful quiet cuddle and she feels safe and secure. I'm going to carry on doing that for as long as she needs me to. I imagine at some point she'll tell me to shove off downstairs or want to read a book or something without me there.

Cookingongas Sat 11-Jun-16 00:17:13

Yabu. My children don't crash about. I, like you, take them upstairs, read them a story, tuck them in and kiss them goodmight. Sometimes they fall asleep quickly. Sometimes they sing to themselves/ try to play/ get up and down to pee etc. Much like I do when I go to bed.

Personally I think sitting with them will make them reliant on your presence, over excited and rebellious when it's withdrawn and without the ability to self sooth.

I think this because i can't self soothblush I always thought I was an insomniac, I'm not. From the age of about 11(when my mum stopped reading/lying/sitting with me) to the age of 20 I couldn't have a full nights sleep. Restless and unable to switch off. That stopes when I got a live in partner. I just can't sleep well alone. Even now - 11 years later.

pristinechristine Sat 11-Jun-16 00:17:42

DH and I alternate nights to do bedtime with DD5. After a story and a cuddle we sit in the room until she falls asleep. It's no biggie - usually takes her about 10 minutes and we just look at our phones whilst she does. It's easier to indulge her though because she's an only.

MadamDeathstare Sat 11-Jun-16 00:18:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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