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AIBU to expect my sister to do more for her own father

(4 Posts)
Greysmanicfan41 Fri 10-Jun-16 20:40:32

father went into hospital as emergency (severe kidney stones and infection)
rushed in on antibiotics under surgical presences, and admitted, sister didnt come up until 9pm and he was rushed into hospital by blue lights at 430pm, she finished work at 430ish could of come straight up, (cicrumstances she had her step kids up from wales(we live in lincolnshire) they were going home following morning after spending half term with them which she took whole week of to spend time with them, hubby was going to work at 9pm, older boy is nearly 9, girl is 15/16) she said to me she couldnt attend full stop , i said hubby home till 930pm and she could of come up straight away instead knowing i was there didnt bother expected me to do all the communicating yet she is next of kin. what annoys me most if it hubby family they drop everything and go! really frustrating she cannot do same for her own family but relys far too much on myself, just because i live close by 5min drive basically.

she did eventually appear after dropping hubby to work doing shift at tesco, at 930pm, with step son (whom i doubt wanted to be there) we were still awaiting a surgeon to be seen and my father was in alot of pain gas and air and liquid morphine something wasnt right, i stress alot suffer PTSD would of been nice to have her support as usual im on my own until he was reffered to surgical ward as bloods were showing massive infection.

she eventually left at 10ish as couldnt leave daughter alone much longer which was understandable - i stayed until we saw surgeon 130am becuase he never been ill before this, and i was worried off course and wanted to make sure what was happening and that she was seen as this point admitted to ward and wasnt given any pain relief and gas air had to stay at AE, so was in alot of pain but sister just palms it off, and as off course expected me to tell her, though did mention not much i can do and should go home.

i just felt she should of come sooner, and got hubby parents/sisters/close friend neighbour to have kids for one night or until my sister was home, her father was ill and not often, this was out of the ordinary yet again. Maybe i should be more like her and not give a s* but i just cant i panic too much i understand that! but when you only have one parent left (mum died of kidney failure) you should savour them more

DeathStare Fri 10-Jun-16 21:24:34

I know you are suffering from anxiety and your dad us I'll so I feel for you. But you I think you are being unreasonable.

The children are her first responsibility. Your father had another adult with him and his condition isn't life threatening. She came within hours so she certainly doesn't "not give a shit". Personally I think if she hadn't come until the morning that would still be reasonable.

DeathStare Fri 10-Jun-16 21:25:13

*is ill. Not us I'll. Bloody phone

Itriedtodohandstandsforyou Fri 10-Jun-16 21:32:57

She did eventually come though didn't she. Sounds like she has got a lot going on too, and she just assumes you're handling this and will keep her updated. If it really bothers you though you need to tell her that you would appreciate her support. I know how you feel as my sister is just like this, I find it easier to just get on with it rather than stressing. Hope your dad is ok. Good luck.

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