To ask for my sons toys back he has given away?

[ProundParent2009]

Today I have solved the mystery of the disappearing toys, Every day my son goes to his tutor and he finds it very difficult to say goodbye so he takes a toy with him. Every day this week I have assumed we have just forgot the toys because we have been in a rush to go to appointments etc.

However today when I asked about the toys at pick up time his Tutor has impormed me that other children have gone home with the toys because they have told her they belong to them!

My son is Non verbal and doesn't understand the consquences when it comes to giving things away, I personally believe he has given them away because he is a very generous little boy and wants to give everyone something all the time!

I wouldn't normally mind however the toys range from a kinder toy - a Disney figure / cars. My son isn't bothered ATM but I know when he wants them he will get very upset and distressed because he wouldn't understand what has happened to them

AIBU to ask the tutor to try and track down the toys? ( only a few people go to her so it wouldn't be a case of asking 30+ children / parents!)

[CharleyDavidson]

I'd say yes. You didn't give your child permission to give them away. And if your child is non verbal then the tutor can't have heard them tell the other children that they could have his toy.

I'm a teacher and the rule at our school (to avoid upset from children and/or parents) is that any toy they bring in with them must be taken home by them at the end of the day. Not many bring toys, but occasionally there's a run on match attack cards/ moshi monsters etc and they are brought in for playtime.

[insancerre]

Yabvu
The toys have nothing to do with the tutor
Don't let your child take toys if you don't want them to get lost

[ThatStewie]

He's nonverbal so school should be supporting him better. They need to ask the parents to return the toys.

[Arkhamasylum]

YANBU. I would ask for them back. Surely the other parents will have noticed that their children have toys that don't belong to them?

[Birdsgottafly]

YANBU to speak to the Tutor, to see what the response is.

The Parents of the children should be wondering where the toys have come from.

Now the Tutor knows about it, then you can come up with a plan between you, to ensure it doesn't keep happening.

Staff in SN schools and even Transport assistants, manage this sort of thing, daily.

[EveryoneElsie]

YANBU. Some kids will take advantage given half the chance.
Can you give him a bag of little token somethings he can gift that wont cause any problems or angst to you?

[Obeliskherder]

Aw bless him! My son has given away toys before and they've always been returned.

I'd suggest you print out some little notes to the other parents, explaining just what you've said here, and asking them to return any recently "acquired" toys. Ask the tutor to pass the notes on.

If they were taken accidentally or through lack of understanding/insight I'd be tempted to send in a stash of little lollies or something as a little reward for returned toys.

[NarkyKnockers]

I would ask if you can put a note in bags maybe but teachers can't be expected to keep track of toys. I know from my time working in schools that bringing a toy can ease the transition for some children but they tend to be more trouble than they're worth either getting lost or damaged or causing distress to the child that has brought it when it needs to be put away for teaching time.

[ApostrophesMatter]

YABU to ask the tutor to track them down. How could she possibly know where they are?

Just don't send any more.

[AngieBolen]

I can't say if that would be an unreasonable request, as I don't fully understand the situation.

Is this a private tutor? Are they group sessions?

I think it would be reasonable for someone to keep on eye on the toy situation. But I'm not sure if you can now ask for they toy back. The other child may now be very attached to the toy. I have gone to extreme lengths to replace toys with have been "given" to my DS, which I then returned to their owner. Hell, did DS want that toy Sainsbury's lorry!

I do think you need to have a conversation with the tutor about this, but as I don't know the exact situation, I don't know what would be the done thing.

[BlueFolly]

I think YABU. It's a lesson not to let him take toys that you don't want him to loose.

[AngieBolen]

Actually, I think your DS should take one special toy with him each time, so you can keep tabs on whether he has it or not.

Also, really, you should have checked if he had the toy before leaving, rushing to appointment or not. The last thing any parent needs is their remembering half way to an appointment while you are stuck in traffic he needs his toy. Now.

[Cagliostro]

Bit late now. It's a lesson learned. Annoying though :(