AIBU to have sacked my hair and makeup lady for my wedding?(73 Posts)
I'm getting married in 2 months time and today has my hair and makeup trial. I had read lots of reviews and decided to go with this lady.
As background: I am North African with dark skin. Not quite black but could definitely be mistaken for African Caribbean. My hair is very very curly and frizzy but straightens without too much hassle. I've avoided lots of heat over the last few years which has helped it's condition.
The trial was at my parents home which is local to where I'll be getting married.
The lady was very nice and professional, she has a very slick website and has been shortlisted for wedding industry awards. I felt I was in safe hands.
As the trial progressed (3 hours) it became clear she wasn't accustomed to dealing with my hair type or complexion. My up do which I had requested wasn't great and quite frizzy with a very 90s style. I'm generally quite assertive so pointed out what I liked and didn't but the overall look wasn't great. She assured me it would look different on the day with spray and wax.
The makeup is where things started to go wrong. I couldn't see what she was doing as I was sat away from the mirror for most of the trial. I explained that I wanted a natural look- not too much makeup just something that would look nice. I don't wear lot of makeup.
She finished and asked me to have a look.
When I looked in the mirror I was shocked- she had made me look almost white, a fair few shades lighter than my complexion with a very cakey looked. The eye shadow was applied beautifully but the colours and quantity were all wrong - I didn't look like myself.
I said that it was too light and could we go closer to my natural skin tone.
Second time round was slightly better but so so heavy and still too white. It was clear she didn't know what to do with my skin tone.
My mum didn't like it either. I politely said I just didn't like it sorry. I asked her how much I could pay her for her time and paid this immediately - it was almost £100.
I said I didn't want to mess her around so I'd be looking for somebody with more experience with dark skinned women. She said that in her many years of experience this had never happened before and she just left. She was clearly very upset.
I've sent photos to my bridesmaids and they are shocked that she is a pro.
I feel very guilty as it's nearly the summer season and this has been in her diary for a long time. Was I unreasonable?
No, I don't think you were. You paid her for her time and were honest, and it sounds as though you were polite about it all.
YANBU. And don't feel guilty. It was a trial and you paid her.
No I did a similar thing. I had arranged to have a whole bridal package but I hated the makeup. She had loads of shimmery eye shadows and I looked wrong. We didn't see eye to eye at all and I did my own makeup. I just told her I'd feel les stressed on the day if I did it myself. That was not really true but as a bride you can say any of thing and people are just glad you are not having a meltdown.
Of course you weren't,you gave her two attempts and liked neither. Your wedding day possibly the day you will be photographed most in your life, why pay someone to give you crap hair and bad makeup.
Hope you find someone better x
I don't think that was unreasonable at all. I think it's great that you paid for her time.
Not at all unreasonable.
Hope you find a replacement soon, who knows how to complement skin other than white!!
Of course you weren't! It was a trial for her to show you what you can do and you didn't like it - even after she'd had a second go! Controversial: if you don't wear a lot of make up, have you thought about doing it yourself? I almost never wear make up, so I did it myself for my wedding day and felt confident that I looked how I like to. I promise you nobody noticed!
You weren't being unreasonable. The bottom line is that you wanted to employ someone to make you look how you wanted to look on your wedding day. She didn't do that.
Certain make up ranges have an appalling propensity to only cater for pale skins, but that's no excuse. A professional make up artist should at least have been able to match foundation to your skin tone. I'm not sure what right she had to be upset if she didn't even have the correct products.
Get someone else. It's your money and your wedding.
You are absolutely not in any way unreasonable. Really really disappointing for you.
Did you look at pictures of her work on her website? Were there ladies of a similar completion to you shown?
Either way. Really really poor show.
Ok. Wedding's not long off but that's ok. There's people out there and there will be availability.
You can ask here, you can obviously use Google. Get personal recommendations.
Definitely not BU! It's you big day any you don't really want to be white for the day . Definitely find someone who is experienced with your skin tone and hair type. I'm very recently qualified to do makeup but I would hold my hands up and say I wouldn't know where to start with darker skin women because I haven't practised. I certainly wouldn't have taken your money knowing I couldn't do the job!
Yanbu. You cant look a fright on your wedding day in order to spare the feelings of some stranger youve hired to do a job.
Certainly not, you sound like you did all the right things. I agree that you want to look like yourself on your wedding day (just a more polished version!). Good luck finding the right person.
Yanbu. It's the right thing to do.
My skin tone is quite dark, not as dark as you describe yours as. When I booked mine I looked for someone who had experience of (and photos on their site) people with my skin tone. It does seem a problem to find someone.
Definitely not being unreasonable.
I'm Caribbean with hair just like yours, it is a frizzy nightmare but with the right product it can be straightened and hold for days. Problem is my hair is jet black (Chinese ancestry), so if I want any attachments it's actually difficult to find a 1 or 1A colour match. Proved to be a headache.
When I got married I had a woman for my hair, and one for make up. My skin tone isn't an easy one to colour match, and the lady I found for my make up didn't do my hair well so decided to just hire two ladies. Worked out perfectly fine one the day with some planning. Both women were black.
Of course yanbu, that's why people have trials!
No you are not being unreasonable
You can't keep her just out of politeness,
You should have foundation specially prepared for you or at least chosen very carefully in advance. It sounds as though she has no experience of your skin tone or hair.
Yanbu at all. I would have done the same.
I wonder if she had training in afro carribean hair.
Years ago When i trained as a hair dresser we read the correct ways but had no actual experience.
As for the makeup, why was she making you white?
I'd have been insulted.
Definitely NBU! Same thing happened with me, slick website, lots of great reviews, mentions on reputable wedding websites. She was lovely and her own make up immaculate.
She was here hours! I am fair skinned with medium length wavy hair, really easy to style and she seemed really flustered (?!), what she did fell out within hours. Make up wise I asked for something glamorous with big eyes, and I as so disappointed when I looked in the mirror, I looked like I did everyday except somehow older.
My sister was horrified at hers, I also had warned her that my sister had very long hair but she was very overwhelmed and almost suggested my sister do her own hair (but no price reduction mentioned) I was so upset as I am not the most confident and wanted to feel fabulous on the day and was counting on this to help. Still charged me £120 (fair enough it was a day of her time) but seemed rather unbothered when I said we were going to go in a different direction. I have a feeling she may have been offered a bigger booking after I'd booked and didn't try very hard with us intentionally, just how it felt, all a bit half hearted.
Why don't you do your own hair and make up? Do people really pay for somebody to do these things for them? Seems very strange to me!
Only you know how you like to look.
Recommend the episode of Girls where Marnie has her make up done for her wedding, v funny.
It was a trial; but she claimed it would "look different on the day"??? What was the point of a trial run in that case? She sounds rubbish
You were really nice to her! I'm quite shocked at this - the makeup; not so much the hair although she should have said she wasn't skilled with very curly hair.
If a professional hasn't been professional enough to find out what you look like before visiting, she should at least have the gumption to say she doesn't have the right foundation and maybe just do your eyes? Or even ask to use your own?
How you look in person and how you look in photos isn't quite the same though. Often brides look heavily made up at the wedding but in the photos they just look a bit made up.
I did my own makeup and it was just far too subtle. I wish I had at least realised that the camera needs more so I could have done a thicker eye line etc.
YANBU. You are the customer, and you are not happy with the service she has provided. You've paid her for your time, so move on, find someone who will make you feel wonderful on your wedding day, and don't worry about upsetting this lady.
Good luck for your wedding
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