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AIBU?

Are we a nightmare to live next door to?

216 replies

squinker45 · 10/06/2016 14:26

Me and d h child mind from home. We have d s 6 and d d 4, plus up to 5 other under fives. Nice weather means the kids are in the garden every day from 830 to 930 then 3 to 5, then 5..30 to 6. The rest of the time we are out at groups, or eating or sleeping etc. Neighbours hate us! They came round to complain saying this is a nice quiet area and her kids, teenagers, could not revise under these conditions. Also that she knows the other neighbours, who have barking dogs,feel the same as she does. They are old friends and their kids are the same age. Bet it wasn't a nice quiet area ten years ago when they got the paddling pool out. Aibu to think they are being overly arsey? We have only been here six months. Semi detached house. No complaints about the noise from within the house but a clear expectation to keep noise in the garden to a whisper. We work four days a week, neighbour works 2.

OP posts:
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Gileswithachainsaw · 10/06/2016 14:28

perfectly reasonable times to be outside in the week tbh.

provided no deliberately excessive screaming and screeching I'd carry on.

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LaurieFairyCake · 10/06/2016 14:29

As long as your business is all legal and you have permission it's fine.

I'd move if I was attached to you though as I work from home. That's my problem though, not yours Smile

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dowhatnow · 10/06/2016 14:29

Well I wouldn't like it either but would recognise that I would have to suck it up as I would be being unreasonable. It's not as if it is all day.

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Smartiepants79 · 10/06/2016 14:30

So you're talk if about up to 8 young children in the garden for set periods in the day, 4 days a week?
Well only you can judge how noisy they are when they are out there but it sounds fair enough to me.
Are they making lots of noise?
For the sake of harmony I'd see what can be done to reduce the noise. But I don't think what rye doing is unreasonable.

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Tiggeryoubastard · 10/06/2016 14:32

Kids playing - even 7 is reasonable (though would be noisy) but if, as a op said, there's excessive screeching and screaming then yes, you probably are nuisance neighbours during those times.

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NarkyKnockers · 10/06/2016 14:32

Yanbu. Earplugs for the teens. Sorted. Though I suspect it's their issue rather than the term children. Can't picture myself ever saying as a teen 'I'd love to revise but the children outside are so noisy'. I used to go to the library if I wanted quiet. And I assume as your eldest is 6 he's not out playing late so plenty of quiet in the evenings at home.

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BranTriLlygaid · 10/06/2016 14:32

It's not illegal to make noise during the day. However, I do feel for your neighbours. The noise around our parts start after 3 and it's impossible to think with kids yelling, playing, screaming, kicking a ball etc every day. I wouldn't personally moan, but do wish I could live in the middle of nowhere at times.....

Can you compromise, perhaps not do one of the later 'playtimes'?

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SweetieDrops · 10/06/2016 14:34

I'd rather listen to a few children that go home in the early evening than the horrible neds that live next to me screaming swear words at each other until the early hours. 1am they finally went in this morning Hmm.

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Fresta · 10/06/2016 14:34

The playing out times seem reasonable, but 7 kids make a hell of a lot more noise than the one or two most people have, and most families don't play out every single day at those times as they are not at home every single day. So therefore, you are probably creating a great deal more noise than the average family. So you can't blame the neighbours for hating it.

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dementedma · 10/06/2016 14:35

I would hate being your neighbour ! 7 little kids playing outside at ,,08.30? It would drive me nuts!

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sonlypuppyfat · 10/06/2016 14:36

I bet your neighbours love it when it rains

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trevortrevorslatterfry · 10/06/2016 14:40

They are unreasonable OP- at least they came to speak to you in person though. I wouldn't say they are unsociable hours.

Also, I get that people like peace and quiet but what kind of grinch says they can't bear the sound of little kids playing and having fun? BOO to them.

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andintothefire · 10/06/2016 14:42

I think you are being a tiny bit unreasonable in having them outside for 2 hours every afternoon in your garden. You are essentially running a noisy business for profit in a residential area. There is nothing wrong with having the children outside for set hours of the day, but I think you should think about whether they are out disturbing neighbours for too long a period overall. Schools only have about 1 - 1.5 hours outside a day maximum. If you want them to play outside for a long time, take them to a park.

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VinoTime · 10/06/2016 14:57

As people get older and their children grow up, they can sometimes forget what having young children is like, especially with regards to noise. My DD is 9 now. My sister came to visit us back in April with her two children - both 2 and under. I swear to god OP, I wanted to invest in ear defenders GrinGrinGrin I caught myself thinking, "For fuck sake. Surely DD wasn't ever this LOUD?" several times. But the truth is, of course she was that loud. All children are loud, to an extent. Some more than others. The fact of the matter is - kids make noise. We just adjust to the different levels of it over the years. This woman has teenagers now sitting exams. She isn't used to screeching children in the back garden anymore and she's likely forgotten just how noisy her own used to be way back when.

Your kids are out at reasonable times enjoying the garden and the weather. You aren't doing anything wrong. Wherever there are children, there will be noise. Especially at this time of year. It'll soon be winter and the kids will be shuffled back inside. Yes, you might be the 'annoying' loud neighbours right now, but next door will just have to suck it up. Children don't stay children for very long and children with working parents need a childcare provider. As long as your childminding service is fully registered/legal - carry on as usual.

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jusdepamplemousse · 10/06/2016 14:57

You probably are a bit of a nightmare to be honest, yes. It's hardly ideal although I appreciate there could be worse noises! But if there's nothing in the title to stop you doing what you're doing then they'll have to suck it up unless you actually fall foul of noise / nuisance regulations...I would have your solicitor check the title though.

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longdiling · 10/06/2016 15:03

It's impossible to tell to be honest. I childmind and we're in the garden a lot but they're not particularly noisy unless there's a paddling pool or trampoline involved. If you're a local business then the last thing you want to do is start pissing off your neighbours though. Perhaps you could find a friendly compromise, is there a time of day that's particularly bad for them? Could you go to the park then? Or ban whatever activities are causing the noise?

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FrikkaDilla · 10/06/2016 15:04

When we were children we played quietly however I don't think many do that nowadays (unfortunately). I don't want noisy people outside in the garden whatever age they are. It would be very wearing and horrendous IMO.

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TooLazyToWriteMyOwnFuckinPiece · 10/06/2016 15:05

8.30 is far too early.

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HermioneJeanGranger · 10/06/2016 15:08

Can't you take them to the park instead of having them in the garden? Having 7 little kids running around screaming outside my window for three hours a day would drive me mad, to be honest.

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ApostrophesMatter · 10/06/2016 15:09

I would hate to be your neighbour. The noise would drive me crazy. I wouldn't live near a school or nursery because of the noise little kids make.

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Gileswithachainsaw · 10/06/2016 15:09

I think sone people have forgotten just how noisy they can be.

with their mobile phones outside and music while cleaning and hoovering g the cars, mowing g lawns, sitting outside chatting with friends they have over.

calling their dogs and cats, yelling at their own kids, arguing with partners. shopping deliveries, cars going, neighbourly chats,

hell even the birds are noisy.

it's never quiet. not unless you are in the middle of nowhere on your own.

surely unless it's particularly excessive a few kids playing is perfectly normal.noise?

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Gileswithachainsaw · 10/06/2016 15:10

least young chikdren are non bed by 7/8

these bbq gp on for hours. well into the night.

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aurorie11 · 10/06/2016 15:12

I don't think you are being unreasonable, my DCs both attended nurseries either in buildings that were formerly residential or part residential part business. For the later one, there are 28 children in the garden, for the former residential one yes it had a large garden but surrounded by houses with up to 40-50 children

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PUGaLUGS · 10/06/2016 15:14

There is a childminder two doors down from me (we are all detached) so not exactly on top of each other. Her mindees are out in the back garden and yes I can hear them. Sometimes it is a bit screechy. But then I can hear next doors music when I am sat out in the garden (must be the teens music as one is doing GCSE's and the other AS and study leave has started) but then mine is also doing GCSE's and one his home from uni and they have their music on. Sometimes our dog goes out and barks at the birds.

Part of every day life.

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riceuten · 10/06/2016 15:14

I live next to a school and between neighbours with kids of the ages stated and wouldn't complain about noise if it isn't

i) going on until 9-10pm or starting before 8am
ii) does not involve loud music at any time
iii) does not involve endless screeching and repetitive banging of balls against fences
iv) shouting by adults

Are you SURE you're not guilty of any of the above? If so, nothing to worry about.

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