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Friends forget, we remember... Every single year!!!

(152 Posts)
Bipet1984 Fri 10-Jun-16 14:23:02

Our best man and wife forget our anniversary!!! EVERY YEAR!! And after it’s gone they go: "sorry guys, we’re rubbish." On the other hand we get them a little pressie and a card for their wedding anniversary. Every year.
Wouldn’t you think if you wanted to remember something you’d jot it in the calendar after the 1st time?

Would you stop the present and card for their anniversary or would you carry on?
I don’t want it to look catty by stopping acknowledging their anniversary but at the same time it would be nice even if they just remembered the day.
AIBU? It’s not that much about the anniversary, it’s more about the principle.

MaudGonneMad Fri 10-Jun-16 14:24:23

I think it's a bit odd to expect your best man to remember and mark your wedding anniversary, tbh.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Fri 10-Jun-16 14:25:11

Erm, I thought that anniversaries were only celebrated by the couple themselves?! Why would anyone else be interested?! confused

I would be quite bemused to receive an anniversary gift from anyone other than my DP, but maybe I'm the exception to the rule and other people are interested in this stuff?!

healthyheart Fri 10-Jun-16 14:25:38

Only my DS has ever acknowledged ours. Our DM's never - even though it meant a lot to them ( us getting married). This year was a special anniversary - nothing from our DM's. I hear you. But some people are just tight.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Fri 10-Jun-16 14:26:06

Oh and to answer your question re stopping giving them a gift, I would, it's a pretty odd thing to do tbh.

TheSpottedZebra Fri 10-Jun-16 14:26:50

I agree, anniversaries are for the couple themselves and no one else.
And maybe if it's a 25 or bigger multiple of 5, and the couple talk about it a bit so as to pre warn people, or they have a party.

MrsJoeyMaynard Fri 10-Jun-16 14:27:27

I think as a general principle, most people don't remember other people's wedding anniversaries.

Personally, I don't tend to send cards at all for other people's wedding anniversaries, let alone presents, except for big anniversaries. As in anniversaries with a zero on the end.

Nowthereistwo Fri 10-Jun-16 14:27:32

I never give cards for anyone's anniversary

TinyTear Fri 10-Jun-16 14:27:36

Why would you give anniversary presents to someone else?

I even get annoyed when my parents get involved or get pissed off that I don't care about their wedding anniversary...

For me a wedding anniversary is between two people - the married couple!

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Fri 10-Jun-16 14:27:39

healthy, it's got nothing to do with being tight, I just don't think anyone is actually interested in other people's anniversaries!

Blimey, it's enough to acknowledge everyone's bloody birthday and kids birthdays now, without having to send cards and gifts for anniversaries too!

TheCrumpettyTree Fri 10-Jun-16 14:27:44

YABU, you shouldn't expect anyone to remember your wedding anniversary. I don't expect cards from anyone, it's about me and DH remembering. Why should they remember the day after however many years, how tedious.

ShatnersBassoon Fri 10-Jun-16 14:27:59

I forget our own anniversary. Other people's aren't even given a passing thought.

Stop sending them a card if it's the principle you're bothered about. That will show them (or they won't notice).

evileyes Fri 10-Jun-16 14:28:04

My MiL buys us a card but I wouldn't expect anyone aside from me and DH to mark our anniversary. I don't remember any of my friend's or family's, I will put a quick note on Facebook if they mention it but that's it. YABU, life's too short to worry about it, save your money and forget about anyone else's apart from your own.

blimeyalldecentnamesaregone Fri 10-Jun-16 14:28:26

I wouldn't expect anyone to mark our wedding anniversary except for DH. My mum often sends a card but no-one else would. I also never get anyone an anniversary card or present except for if we were invited to a party for a special anniversary.

feckity Fri 10-Jun-16 14:28:36

The reason they forget is because it isn't important to them. The reason they apologise is because they know it's important to you. They probably find it a little strange that you send them stuff for their anniversary, I know I would.

acasualobserver Fri 10-Jun-16 14:28:41

I agree with the above. I'm sorry OP, your anniversary is strictly your own business.

JammyTodger Fri 10-Jun-16 14:28:44

I'd be really surprised to receive a card off anyone other than DH. My mom sent me one last year (1st anniversary) and I thought it was nice but a bit odd.

BendydickCuminsnatch Fri 10-Jun-16 14:28:48

I thought it was odd that my mum sent us an anniversary card, let alone anyone else!!

AlmaMartyr Fri 10-Jun-16 14:28:49

I honestly don't expect anyone to remember our wedding anniversary and would find it a little bit awkward (although kind) if someone sent a card and gift every year.

KondosSecretJunkRoom Fri 10-Jun-16 14:28:55

Anniversaries are forgettable. I barely remember my own and I'm very much in love with dh after 15 years.

londonrach Fri 10-Jun-16 14:28:59

The only ones who celebrate wedding anniversaries are the couple themshelves unless its a special one eg 40, 50, 60. As to the answer your question stop buying them a present as thats abit strange.

BreconBeBuggered Fri 10-Jun-16 14:29:03

It's nice if these things are reciprocated, but ime few people remember anniversaries that aren't their own. The only one I keep in my head is my DSis's, and they split up 25 years ago, so that's feck all use to anyone.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Fri 10-Jun-16 14:29:43

Funny you should say.

Dh was just on the phone with our accountant awhile ago. We needed to verify we were married by their records.

Dh: Oct 10. No, 11th. Um...12th?

So no, I wouldn't expect anyone else to remember.

RunLillian Fri 10-Jun-16 14:30:02

Agree that it's weird to exchange cards and gifts between friends. I send anniversary cards to my immediate family but no-one else; I text my friend from whom I was MOH.

PuppyMonkey Fri 10-Jun-16 14:30:06


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