Ds is in reception. He's quite popular, easy going, confident and has a circle of friends. They have fall outs of course, and we're always fairly measured in our response when he tells us about it. But on the whole he gets on with others and they get on well with him.
A little while ago he was sent home with a note explaining that he had a red patch on his arm, caused by another child. Ds wasn't all that bothered, just said Tim had done it (not his real name) and that the teacher dealt with it and Tim's name star was put on the thunder storm cloud. I knew the teacher had dealt with it so didn't make a big deal out of it.
Yesterday he came home with an enormous bite mark on his hand, again was none too concerned by it fortunately, said Tim had done it. It looked like it had almost drawn blood and was still very clearly visible when I collected him from cm at 5pm (it was done at lunch). Again he had a note in his bag from first aid and the teacher told the cm personally that she spoke to Tim and the headteacher this time and Tim's parents were informed too. The bite mark was still on his hand this morning as a bruise.
Dh spoke to ds about it last night and ds told him he'd wanted to hit Tim in response, but hadn't. We both praised him for his self control and for not retaliating and said he reacted appropriately. The teacher confirmed that ds had dealt with it really well - hadn't reacted but told the teacher it had happened. I think the school have taken it seriously and acted accordingly so no real complaints on that front.
We've spoken to Tim's mum before, who seems nice enough, and I'm sure she must be mortified. I suspect there may be some learning/ developmental issues for which she has my sympathy. But all the same, my duty of care is to my child.
For now we've suggested to ds that he gives Tim a wide berth and plays with other children. Tim isn't really a member of ds's friendship group anyway. But tbh if it happens again and ds retaliates I won't be punishing him at home and would be a bit cross if the school did knowing this has been building up. Ds can be pushed so far but if in the wrong frame of mind can certainly react, as I suspect would many 5 year olds. There are only so many times I can ask 'did the teacher deal with? Well then that's good, well done for not reacting.'
It's not bothering him, he's not worried about going to school etc but I strongly suspect this could happen again. Should I ask to speak to the teacher about behaviour management if it happens again? Or should i be asking now that they're kept separate?
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AIBU?
At what point should you intervene in aggression at school?
10 replies
LittleLionMansMummy · 10/06/2016 14:18
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