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To think if your child is too ill to go to school

(47 Posts)
littlethingsthatbug Fri 10-Jun-16 11:46:07

...that they are too ill to be taken out and treated?

Three mums at school have had warnings about attendance and unauthorised absence where they haven't contacted the school. They have had a go at the school commenting on the attendance because at the end of the day children get ill and if its sickness or diarrhoea they have to have off 48 hours at least and it's usually the school that says don't go in.

But all 3 have posted on social media and/or have been seen out with the children when they are supposed to be off ill either treating them in town, buying them toys and taking them down the local park to play or to play football.

When asked my opinion our children overall have good attendance (I know we have been lucky) but DD has had a lot of medical appointments but I have always told them in advance, taken her back to school or pulled her out and then took her straight back.
I know children get ill and some more so than others but when I was ill I would never leave the house. If I was off it had to be serious and my mum didn't want to be seen out with a child off ill in case I looked fine to everyone else (Ofc if she was desperate she had to but it was there and back and I didn't get anything from the trip) . I'm sure it prevented me pulling a fast one saying I'm ill when I'm not because I was bored to death I wasn't even allowed to play indoors if I was too ill to go I was too ill to play. Which is what I do with my children just not to the extreme my mother did.

I got long drawn out silences and one of them I am close friends with has removed the pictures she posted of her son beaming with joy at his new toy in town and the other photos of him out when off ill. I talked to her about it, I really feel like her son half the time is just saying it to get out of going as he gets to do all these nice things when he's off sick. She's thought a few times perhaps he could have gone as later seemed fine.

Friends son because he's had so much time off she's been asked to take him to the doctors so had to have his bloods done last week. He had the full day off for the bloods but the appointment 10mins and he was fine then she didnt send him to school the next day either, 2 days absent for 10 minute bloods. My DD had a operation under general was there all day till late and had the next day off to recover and she went back the day after.

I can't help feeling she isn't helping herself and she is going to end up in court which they have said it may come to this.

Am I having an old fashioned view on this based on my mothers choices?

Summerdreams Fri 10-Jun-16 13:08:10

I think maybe you do have an old fashioned view on this, allthough I don't think what your friends doing is right.

Op I think you need to try and understand that a lot of people may not have the pleasure of being able to hide in all day because there child is sick they might have to do stuff with other children they might need to buy things from the shop just general reasons.

I don't think you should get involved really and certainly shouldn't call your friemds ds a liar when you have no proof.

FernCurl Fri 10-Jun-16 13:11:49

Why do you even care?

PPie10 Fri 10-Jun-16 13:14:02

Are you competing with her over whose child is more sick? I can't understand why this gets to you so much?

abbsismyhero Fri 10-Jun-16 13:16:11

My son can be sick once then fine he still has to stay out of school for 24 hours its a pita and as a single parent my life cannot stop and I would buy him a toy if he was good

SaucyJack Fri 10-Jun-16 13:16:12

So what would/do you do with perfectly well, happy kids who can't go back to school yet because of the 48-hour rule?

There's no point in staying home and staring at the walls.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Fri 10-Jun-16 13:16:59

Are you competing with her over whose child is more sick? I can't understand why this gets to you so much?

I am wondering this also!

abbsismyhero Fri 10-Jun-16 13:17:02

48 hours even

eyebrowse Fri 10-Jun-16 13:17:05

IF they are on their second day of after a sick bug they are probably sending their germs around town if they are taken out but on the other hand they are probably going stir crazy sitting about at home

whois Fri 10-Jun-16 13:18:02

If you have to keep a child off for 48 hours after they have vommed - they can be feeling 100% fine the next day and STILL are not meant to go to school. Don't see the harm in taking them out and about when they aren;t actually ill but the school says they can;t come back.

ReallyTired Fri 10-Jun-16 13:18:17

As far as operations go, my children have had the time off as recommended by the consultant.

As far as treats go, a lot depends on the reason they are having the time off school. There has to be a balance and a little common sense. What is OK for child is not necessarily the right decision for another child.

Mycatsabastard Fri 10-Jun-16 13:21:34

I thought this thread was going to be about me.

DD2 was sick in school on Tuesday afternoon. I got called in to collect her and apologies to the TA who had to clean up the vomit from the floor and told she wasn't to return until Friday or Monday depending on when she was last sick.

So Wednesday she was really tired and weak (from no food) but yesterday she felt a bit better so we jumped in the car and drove to a wildlife place and spent the day mooching about and then visiting a childrens farm. I thought she was ok but last night her stomach was cramping again so she's still off today.

She's had three days off this week, 2 days earlier in the school year (vomiting again) and had one day off for medical appointment. Her attendance is fine and I don't feel guilty for getting her out in the fresh air when our house was like a sauna yesterday.

LuckySantangelo1 Fri 10-Jun-16 13:23:34

I don't get why you are so bothered about this. Total non issue.

honkinghaddock Fri 10-Jun-16 13:39:43

Ds often used to get sent home from school ill when he wasn't actually ill. He had sen that school couldn't cope with. We would spend the afternoon in the park because I wasn't going keep him in climbing the walls.

NarkyKnockers Fri 10-Jun-16 13:41:52

Yabu. If my kids say they are too poorly to go in then they are tucked up at home. If they are sick but then feel fine I respect the not going in for 48 hrs rule but wouldn't insist they stay in bed or not do anything fun.

MoonfaceAndSilky Fri 10-Jun-16 13:42:04

I can't help feeling she isn't helping herself and she is going to end up in court which they have said it may come to this.

Then let her, tbh it's none of your business, sorry wink
Also regarding your own child having an op under general, I wouldn't have worried about a few days off school it's not prison

amidawish Fri 10-Jun-16 13:43:08

i often take dd out on the second day if she is off with V&D. she's normally fine by the time she actually vomits, sick leading up to it, but then can't go into school for 2 days.

we went to legoland last year on the second day. bonus day grin

but no i wouldn't plaster all over social media.

StopShoutingAtYourBrother Fri 10-Jun-16 13:43:17

Op - I agree with you, but I guess at the end of the day other people have different views and its up to them really

Cadenza1818 Fri 10-Jun-16 13:54:05

I often take mine out on 2nd day of d@v. We go somewhere where there are no ppl- woods or fields etc. Would Def not be in town though.

corythatwas Fri 10-Jun-16 14:00:22

Depends on the reason for absence:

illness that is contagious but leaves recuperating child well enough to go out (but not be in close contact with others): child with chickenpox going for walk in woods, child recovering from D & V going out into street (D & V not airborne as far as I know)

MH problem which makes child unable to attend school but in need of gradual reintroduction to outside world

multiple medical appointments in the same day which leaves enough time for a potter around town but not enough to bring child back into school and then take him out again

I sometimes wonder over the punitive attitude of many British parents towards their sick children: it sometimes feels like a competition as to who can make their ailing offspring's life most boring and unpleasant. Do you have the same attitude towards yourself when you are ill, or towards your partner? Do you take extra pains to ensure that nothing at all is done to cheer you up and deny yourself television or access to your mobile phone.

ToastyFingers Fri 10-Jun-16 14:12:26

I wasn't even allowed to play indoors if I was too ill to go I was too ill to play.

I find this quite sad, when my dd is ill, anything that cheers her up is a good idea (within reason).

Perhaps you should be trying to move away from the old fashioned strict upbringing you had, it can't have been very nice for you by the sound of it.

AlmaMartyr Fri 10-Jun-16 14:17:03

I'm not sure why you're bothered about this, it doesn't sound like it's anything to do with you.

PaulAnkaTheDog Fri 10-Jun-16 14:17:34

Why on earth did you talk to her about it? It's not your place to do so.

LogicalThinking Fri 10-Jun-16 14:26:32

This is absolutely none of your business and YABU.

You also have very strange ideas about how to treat children who are ill. Of course they can play if they are up for it, and it might even be fine for them to go out. It depends on the illness.

I don't even understand why this bothers you so much.

longdiling Fri 10-Jun-16 14:38:31

The op reads to me as if the mothers asked her opinion? If that is the case then the big mistake you made was to give them it. People don't often want to hear your actual opinion if it's going to contradict theirs. Next time just flannel and say something non-committal about schools being very focused on absences these days.

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