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to find this rather depressing?

(3 Posts)
NickiFury Fri 10-Jun-16 09:56:09

Conversation with my elderly mother at the weekend. She's of an age where her peers are beginning to meet their end and talks about it quite a bit.

A common theme throughout was how well the left behind spouses all seem to be managing, how this one has bought a new dining suite because she was never allowed one while her DH was alive, that one has a new lease of life and is going to Canada to see children and grandchildren because the DH never wanted to go, another has bought a season rugby ticket which was not permitted when the DW was alive. The whole convo really seemed to be about how much happier everyone was within a very short space of time after the loss of a life long spouse. I said this to her and she agreed instantly and we actually had a laugh about it, which encouraged her to tell me of a friend who apparently can't wait for hers to go so she can do things she never could while she was with him.

Don't get me wrong, it's good to hear of people moving forward and a couple of them I love very much and am happy for them, I suppose I just thought about how a life long marriage seems to be quite often held in such reverence and as something to aspire to, when it seems that so many people are just marking time towards the end.

Just musing really smile

Slarti Fri 10-Jun-16 10:00:03

YANBU, it is a bit depressing but maybe a generational thing. Many women, and I suppose some men, stayed married because it was too shameful or simply unaffordable to divorce. I hope so anyway! I hope society isn't filled with people waiting for their spouses to die. shock

MeAndMy3LovelyBoys Fri 10-Jun-16 10:09:03

I guess it's a bitter sweet situation for them really, and they are just making the most of a heartbreaking time (losing their husband/wife) by doing what they wouldn't have done whilst their husband/wife was alive. At least they are trying to move forward and be happy.

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