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To feel like a loser for not having friends

(15 Posts)
LadyLayLay Fri 10-Jun-16 09:33:08

I'm in my 20s. Work full time and live alone.

I don't have any friends that I see outside of work. There are loads of people that I chat to there and like, but I never have the inclination to want to do anything outside of work.

I had one really good friend who I texted every day, but she's stopped talking to me - she said she was having a bad time of late and would be in touch. I said no problem, take your time and I hope you feel better soon. Left it a week, then text again to ask how she's feeling now but no reply.

I have a boyfriend who is basically the only person I like being with outside of work. I just feel like a big social reject! It seems like everyone has friends and WANTS them but me.

Anyone else a bit of a loner? sad Starting to feel a bit embarrassed.

michy27 Fri 10-Jun-16 09:36:41

Same here. Friends I do have live a long way away and I rarely see them or speak to them. Live with my boyfriend. Trying to make friends is hard!

sall74 Fri 10-Jun-16 09:44:21

I'm pretty much the same, get on well with my work colleagues and enjoy their company in work, but outside of work I'm very happily a loner, much prefer to do any activities by myself, walking, shopping, day on the beach etc and absolutely hate the idea of having visitors in my home.

BolshierAryaStark Fri 10-Jun-16 10:04:13

You're not a loser, I gained most of my now friends when I had kids-the person I class as my closest friend I met at a bf group.
Plenty of time to make good friends yet.

oliveoilandaubergine Fri 10-Jun-16 10:40:38

i only see my boyfriend too, i used to have lots of friends that i spent time with alongside my ex but when we split up i didnt feel comfortable with them. i no longer do the school run as i work full time so dont speak to many mum friends and i dont really have time. it only really hits home when my boyfriend is away though as he is my best friend.

mizuzu Fri 10-Jun-16 10:48:31

I am a bit of a loner, I have friends but I wouldnt say they are good friends who I can depend on if i needed, so yeah a little lonely there.

MissMoo22 Fri 10-Jun-16 10:59:57

You aren't alone. I have one best friend but she has loads of friends so I would socialise with them sometimes but they wouldn't usually invite me out without her (maybe one or two would but not often). I used to have 3 best friends and be the centre of the group but when pregnant with my 3rd the other 3 didn't see each other at all because it was me who they had in common. So now I have literally one friend, it makes me feel shit to be honest.

LadyLayLay Fri 10-Jun-16 11:03:31

Oww. Feel a bit better now. Glad it's not just me sadblush

Paulat2112 Fri 10-Jun-16 11:06:53

I am the same, but don't really work so have no one to talk to at work sad i don't know how to meet new people so i don't really try any more

Rebecca2014 Fri 10-Jun-16 11:07:03

Same here, to be honest I should make more effort but I'm an introvert.

EnlightenedOwl Fri 10-Jun-16 11:13:16

Same here. I get on with pretty well everyone at work but no friends and family are arses so...there you are. I work in a law firm get on with lawyers brilliantly but other support staff snipe behind my back. I work for one lawyer (partner) and do a good job (not my perception been told this) and I think they get jealous. They get lunch hours and go on time (I don't) but mutter behind my back I don't pull my weight. Work know and I am just "rising above it" I know its just this little group of three but its very wearing. As for family I don't know the issues there (well I think I do) but may be wrong anyway don't have a lot in common with them anyway they're a bit alternative.

Joolsy Fri 10-Jun-16 11:27:39

It's only a problem if you are not happy. It sounds like you are quite happy having no friends. I don't have many either, and no real close ones, but I would like a really close friend or two

U2HasTheEdge Fri 10-Jun-16 11:30:22

Well if you are a loser then so am I thanks

I have old family friends who I can talk to, I have relatives I can talk to but it feels different because I've known them since I was little and they aren't friends I've made myself.

I had a best friend and we went our separate ways over a camping trip.

I speak to colleagues. I am friendly but I don't over do it. I am polite, I am interested in others and will talk to anyone about anything, but no one seems to want to take it further. I would be a really good and fun friend so their loss I guess. I feel like no one really likes me.

I have a wonderful husband and mum and I love socialising with them but I want others to like me grin

Sighing Fri 10-Jun-16 11:39:54

flowers solidarity in being mainly "solo". I have 3 people I consider friends they all live too far away to see more than once a year, we only vaguely communicate the rest of the time (they would, I know, be there if i asked and vice versa). Then there's my husband. My family live a minimum distance of more than an hours drive. I see them less than once a month.

michy27 Fri 10-Jun-16 12:41:27

Its surprisingly hard to make friends. I've struggled for a couple of years and just become used to the idea of not really having many friends sad

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