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Not to have been aware about how ingrained snobbery is in private schools?

(106 Posts)
Lottielou7 Thu 09-Jun-16 21:38:19

I have three dc, all of whom have been in and out of both sectors and I don't see either as uniformly better or worse. It all depends on the school and the individual child.

Recently I decided to move one of my dc from an independent school with 10 in a class to one of our localish state schools which we both had a good feeling about and felt would be right for her. She did very well at the indie school academically and in sports but I moved her because of bullying and stealing and the oppressive atmosphere that resulted.

To cut a long story short, the head wanted to speak to me but didn't seem to want to discuss the bullying (specifically of a child with SN) and glossed over it. She then expressed concern that my child was now having to mix with the great unwashed(!)

I didn't realise indie schools were like this, or perhaps what I meant was I didn't realise this one was hmmconfused

Lottielou7 Thu 09-Jun-16 21:39:59

The other indie school we used was nothing like this btw

Shallishanti Thu 09-Jun-16 21:40:50

I'm not surprised, I have come across similar in selective state schools, so I imagine independent schools would have that attitude squared.

whydidhesaythat Thu 09-Jun-16 21:42:37


SquidgeyMidgey Thu 09-Jun-16 21:43:03

I went to a private academically selective secondary on a scholarship. I came from a very working class family and I was constantly reminded that I was the great unwashed.

Lottielou7 Thu 09-Jun-16 21:44:00

How awful Squidgey sad

KleineDracheKokosnuss Thu 09-Jun-16 21:44:09

Depends on the school.

JayDot500 Thu 09-Jun-16 21:44:40

No personal experience of private school here but the stealing caught my eye. My nephew has reported many items of his being stolen from him at his private school... I never thought that would be an issue, but apparently it is. How naive of me hmm

AngieBolen Thu 09-Jun-16 21:46:47

But really it was just one head teacher, not private schools in gerneral.

Atenco Thu 09-Jun-16 21:52:54

IMHO, the attitude of the head permeates a school. I taught in a couple and where the headteacher was a thoughtful ethical person, there was hardly any bullying, but where the headteacher was devoid of ethics, there was horrendous bullying.

Whistlejackets Thu 09-Jun-16 21:53:42

The views of one headteacher doesn't make for institutional snobbery across all private schools! YAB ridiculous.

You say your children have been in and out of both sectors and this is your 1st experience of such snobbery. Doesn't that suggest it's THAT headteacher, not ALL private schools...

Lurkedforever1 Thu 09-Jun-16 21:55:57

Yabu to judge the sector based on a minority of twats. Would you say 'Inverse snobbery is ingrained in state schools' based on one persons ignorant comments?

Lottielou7 Thu 09-Jun-16 22:05:06

I did say that it wasn't the case in another school we used. It left me wondering how much this sort of thing happens.

Lottielou7 Thu 09-Jun-16 22:08:28

Yes wrt the stealing - my child has had many things stolen in 2 years at this school - jumpers, PE kit, whole swimming kit, stationary taken out of her bag and also charity money was stolen. At the previous school in 7 years not one thing was stolen. Things got mixed up occasionally but were never deliberately taken.

DancingDinosaur Thu 09-Jun-16 22:09:16


Pinkheart5915 Thu 09-Jun-16 22:13:27

That's just one schools view.
I think it depends on the school. I went to private schools for the whole of my school years, and I don't think there was much snobbery about it we had children at school I now know had scholarships and some that come from state schools and they never got referred to as the great un washed.

Can I ask why your DC has been in and out of both school systems? I'm just being nosey

Pinkheart5915 Thu 09-Jun-16 22:14:26

I never had anything stolen in all my years of private schools, but surely stealing can happen regardless of state or private schools

ParadiseCity Thu 09-Jun-16 22:16:55

I remember your thread, I think, was this the school that rang you 6 times one day? They sound crazy and at least you can be totally sure you were right to leave!

Feckitall Thu 09-Jun-16 22:16:57

My DC switched in and out of state and indie..far more snobbery in the state school..lots of social climbers. .I lived, still do, in a council house. .wasn't worth speaking to until certain people found out dd sibling were at indie..later youngest dd also got a indie bursary place..they only knew she was going private. .suddenly mummy's wanted to speak to me and invite DD round... ..umm don't think so..bunch of Hyacinths. .

Lottielou7 Thu 09-Jun-16 22:16:59

The other two have SN. I like girls only education. The biggest change is getting used to boys tbh.

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine Thu 09-Jun-16 22:19:22

In other woods, the Pope is a Roman Catholic.

And some places with lots of trees are also full of bear shit.

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine Thu 09-Jun-16 22:19:46

other news! [fail]

AugustaFinkNottle Thu 09-Jun-16 22:21:30

I suspect the head was seriously worried about the loss of one tenth of the school fee income for that year group and the danger that other people might follow your lead. When a cousin of mine took a child out of a private school because it was totally incapable of accommodating his dyslexia, the head was petty and vindictive enough to ring round all the other local private school heads to warn them about the family. God knows what he thought it would achieve, as it would hardly have persuaded my cousin to send her son back to his school. Fortunately the head of the school they had chosen already thought the first school's head was an idiot so it didn't work.

LottieDoubtie Thu 09-Jun-16 22:23:10

In my experience, where you get groups of people you get theft!

I think this is the attitude of one HT not institutionalised snobbery.

That said if the HT of an independent doesn't actually believe that their provision is better than the state option then they aren't actually doing their job correctly. Although what's better should have nothing to do with any notion of the great unwashed.

Lottielou7 Thu 09-Jun-16 22:27:23

I don't agree that theft happens everywhere on this scale

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