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I probably am....but what is it people expect when they have kids exactly??

(147 Posts)
GreatFuckability Thu 09-Jun-16 19:44:21

In the last few weeks I've had so many friends and family members, talking about and getting upset over and even crying about their children starting school/moving up a school year/going on residential trips, and it baffles me.

I mean, children grow up, right? when people have babies do they not consider the fact that they will, usually, at some point grow up and go to school, and move out and get their own lives. Isn't that the point? we have the children and its our job to equip them with skills to become independent functioning adults?

I do understand that it can be hard to let go, I do. I do also feel those 'awww' moments when looking back on when they were small and cute and couldn't talk and annoy me by being awake when i want to watch Game of Thrones but I just dont understand people's reaction. One acquitance posted that she was 'losing her child forever' because she's starting half day nursery. Over react much??

And surely its not fair on the child either. Kids aren't daft, if they see their parents getting all sad and crying when they transitioning to new things, its going to make it harder for them. children are people, not possesions.

or perhaps i'm just a heartless old bag?

MrsSpecter Thu 09-Jun-16 19:47:11


Youre a heartless old bag.

I used to be like you but i seem to have gone soft as the little rascals have grown on me. I had a little lump in throat moment today at sports day when friend reminded me that next year will be our DCs last one. <sob>

BathTangle Thu 09-Jun-16 19:52:28

I thought this too yesterday when I read a FB update saying how upset someone was that it was the end of half term because she'd miss the kids so much! They're home by 3.15 every day!

GreatFuckability Thu 09-Jun-16 20:33:23

I do get pangs of it! but i they are going to school, not labour camps to die! I just think people are a bit wet really. grin

TheToys Thu 09-Jun-16 20:39:44

I'm really happy and proud when DC moves on and grows. But then again, I don't particularly love the baby/toddler/small child phases. Really look forward to eventually meeting adult DS.

LadyStarkOfWinterfell Thu 09-Jun-16 20:43:49

I agree wholeheartedly!

Turbinaria Thu 09-Jun-16 20:44:33

I'm usually as hard as nails but get a lump in my throat when I think my youngest is leaving primary school in 6 weeks time. I've been doing the school run for a total of 14 years and now no more sad even though I moaned about it from time to time it does feel we as a family are moving to a new stage in our lives and they are no longer young children

JustMarriedBecca Thu 09-Jun-16 20:45:37

I thought like this too then I had my daughter and I miss her even when I'm at work. Today I cried on the tube when another little boy was upset. Hormones I think....

AllegraWho Thu 09-Jun-16 20:59:27

No, I never got it either. Totally baffling.

Oysterbabe Thu 09-Jun-16 21:01:24

You're a heartless old bag I'm afraid.

Kenduskeag Thu 09-Jun-16 21:02:43

YANBU, I haven't seen this kind of thing yet but I'd massively eyeroll if someone thought attending a few pre-school sessions was akin to 'losing a child'.

CakeNinja Thu 09-Jun-16 21:05:16

Some people are bloody drippy.

sepa Thu 09-Jun-16 21:05:59

I was like this until I had DD. I miss her when she just goes upstairs to bed grin

Xmasbaby11 Thu 09-Jun-16 21:06:18

You're right, most of those are total overreactions!

My dc are only 2 and 4. I work part time and when I'm not at work my life does revolve around them. Im looking forward to them having their own friends and interests so they are less dependent on me. I think it's normal to feel like that!

TheMasterMurderedMargarita Thu 09-Jun-16 21:06:41

I am very emotional but this sort of thing does make me go hmm.
On my child's first day at school there was a couple of mums actually sobbing. Weirdos.

CakeNinja Thu 09-Jun-16 21:07:13

Disclaimer, am not made if ice, I just cried a bit at DIY SOS!

happypoobum Thu 09-Jun-16 21:08:44

I don't get the drama either. Why would anyone cry because their kids are moving up schools?
Happy to join the heartless old bag club.

sunnydayinmay Thu 09-Jun-16 21:09:39

I have the odd wobble, but always thought I'd prefer teenagers anyway. I enjoyed the baby/toddler years, but my life is so much more exciting now they're a bit older.

DoinItFine Thu 09-Jun-16 21:10:31

Everyone cries a bit at DIYSOS.

Even people with no hearts.

Or tear ducts.

Cutecat78 Thu 09-Jun-16 21:10:43

People who say they hate their kids going to school are fucking liars smile

TheMasterMurderedMargarita Thu 09-Jun-16 21:10:48

Me too CakeNinja !

Fluffyseagull Thu 09-Jun-16 21:10:51

My friend told me she didnt want her son to go to nursery as he might think hes done something wrong and being sent away. The child is 10 months old sorry but wtf?

tigermoll Thu 09-Jun-16 21:12:37

I get what you mean, but have you never felt nostalgic for the ending of a phase in your life, even when that end was totally predictable? smile

I wept for a whole night when I realised I was going to have to move out of the house I'd been living in with my best friend for three years, even though I never really thought we would just continue living there for ever and ever (would have been nice though. We could have gradually become elderly ladies who drank damson gin and solved mysteries together). And there was a real sadness in leaving the city I'd trained in at the end of our course, knowing we'd never again sit up all night chatting, indulging in bizarre physical competitions (not going to specify as immediately outing and also just plain WEIRD) and going through the same thing together, even though choosing to maintain adolescence for the rest of our lives would have been creepy.

Although I agree that wailing you're 'losing your child forever' sounds like guilt-manipulation and show-offery.

megletthesecond Thu 09-Jun-16 21:12:54

Yanbu. I feel wistful when I know mine have moved on from potties / nursery / cbeebies but never get upset. I'm glad (and relieved) they're growing up, picking up independence here and there. I'd feel a lot worse if they never made those steps up.

StrangeLookingParasite Thu 09-Jun-16 21:14:38

Apparently also a heartless old bag, me.

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