Aibu to want and 8 year old punished for for stamping on my son?

[Neenypoo22]

My 8 year old came out of school yesterday limping, said he got hurt playing football. I thought nothing much of it till he got up this morning and couldn't walk. His knee was twice its size, I asked him again what happened and he said the kid he tackled disagreed with the corner or free kick or whatever it was so he ran at him kicked him then stamped on him. When he told his teacher she has said never mind go and sit down. I took him to a&e and a few hours later and an X-ray the doc said it looks like it's been dislocated then re set itself, there is no fracture but the swelling is huge and it's a significant injury. Let the swelling go down in a few days then if it's still as painful bring him back as there could be more damage that can't be seen at the moment because of the extent of the swelling. There was no accident form filled out, and the boy who did it apparently dislocated another boys arm a couple of weeks ago during a game of tig. Ordinarily I'd let something like this go, but to be that violent and cause that much damage at such a young age only a few weeks after hurting another child surely something should be done? I mean, if this was an adult they'd be getting a knock on the door off the old bill and charged with ABH! We've asked the school to provide us with the accident note, but know full well there wasn't one filed. We will leave it until Monday for them to come up with one then go and and speak to the head and ask what they are going to be doing about it. I'm not being unreasonable am I to want something to be done about it? Surely this kid needs punishing?

[Shannaratiger]

YANBU like you said this is a serious assault. If the head doesn't do anything then speak to the police and maybe the parent of the other child he assulted.

[coco1810]

God that's awful op. Hope he makes a speedy recovery. Personally I would be making a call to LEA about this. When my son had an asthma attack at sports day and no inhalers had been brought onto field (not even the schools spare one) I reported the school. LEA attended the school next day to investigate. God knows what they would do in these circumstances.

[Stanky]

Take photos of the injury as evidence. Put everything in writing to the school. I find that the only way to be taken seriously is to put everything into writing. I would at the very least demand a written apology from the other child. That behaviour is just not acceptable. Hope your son feels better soon.

[mylovegoesdown]

He's not an adult though, he's 8 so you can't compare the situation with how an adult would be treated.

I have a huge amount of sympathy for your son though so I think you need to think about what you want to happen. And then present that to the school and see what their response is.

[Hulababy]

Having had a joint dislocate and return itself I can only imagine how much pain your child was in. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced ever! Think it is the only time I have cried over an injury to myself as an adult. I couldn't do anything bar grasp my arm for several hours.

Do keep an eye on it - mine had to be put in a splint (elbow) to aid recover, and a sling after that. When the swelling has gone down take him back for a new x-ray to be sure.

You MUST let school know as soon as you can. They must record it officially now and yes, the child who did it needs speaking to and action taking. You may not find out what happens to the other child though - that should be between him and school, and his parents. But make sure you tell the head you want action taking regarding the matter, and that it wasn't followed up - maybe send initial request for meeting by email to have its written down too.

[corythatwas]

I would absolutely press this with the school. You cannot insist on any particular type of punishment, or even to be informed of how the other child is being punished, but what you can insist is on the school coming up with a plan for how they are going to avoid such incidents in the future. You have every right to feel assured that your child will be safe at school.

[coffeeaddictedandfat]

I think yabu to want this boy punished. He is 8. I would be more concerned about how this was allowed to happen. They are 8 and there must have been teachers present who failed to step in. I would be very angry too but rather with school.

[jellybeans]

Yanbu but sadly this happened to 2 of my children repeatedly. We had to threaten police involvement eventually (child was 10). The same child was attacking others from nursery age. Several were scarred. Eventually he was expelled from high school and sent to a behaviour unit. The parents just left him out roaming all the time and had no inclination of helping him.

Another child also was very similar but used to shout to teachers that they couldn't tell him off as he had ADHD. The mother would respond in the same way. This included the response to racist incidents and stabbing someone with a pen. In my eyes he still needed punishing not excusing. The school was partly to blame for not supervising or managing behaviour. Child was also expelled from high school and attends behavioural school.

A lot depends on whether the school will do anything about it. It's an awful feeling when well behaved children have to change school rather than those who misbehave continually because schools won't act or manage it.