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To not make my Dc attend party?

(14 Posts)
Winterdaisy Thu 09-Jun-16 18:36:56

So I found a party invite scrunched up at bottom of DC school bag before half term. I RSVP 'd a yes (by text and did not get any response) DC can attend. Dc is very adement that they didn't want to attend as doesn't like child etc and hid/ destroyed invite. I re text parent today to say I lost invite could they let me know address. I have not had a response. So should I let DC off and assume parent never got my RSVP in first place perhaps I got number wrong or it was wrong on invite???
I could of course find parent and ask in playground or even one of the other class parents but I don't know if I really even want to force DC to go. 😐 Is that really bad.
The children are 8 in a very small school the child who is having the party is relatively new to school. My DC reason is opposite sex child they find annoying and harsh (his words). I feel a bit sorry for child and parents if they are having a whole class party and my DC is being rude and refusing to go. Of course they may not want my DC to attent hence no response !
So would I be be unreasonable to assume we don't go? (I hate class politics)

Floggingmolly Thu 09-Jun-16 18:39:56

They may not want your ds to go?? I think not, they could have addressed that quite easily by not inviting him hmm
Why did you accept without checking he wanted to go? It's a right pain messing people around like this.

Wolfiefan Thu 09-Jun-16 18:40:10

Did you not ask your child before you sent the RSVP?

NotMyMoney Thu 09-Jun-16 18:40:45

I wouldn't send my DC to a party try didn't want to go to purely because I wouldn't go to a party if I disliked the person. Yet children do fall out and make up often so unless they were very close for a long time my DC wouldn't attend

PPie10 Thu 09-Jun-16 18:43:13

Why are you forcing him to go if he doesn't want to or like the child. Does the need to be a goody override his feelings?

Winterdaisy Thu 09-Jun-16 18:47:27

I did ask he said yes, then later said no and claimed he wasn't listening to me as he was busy at the time!
I don't like being rude so as I said yes I am prepared to force it but as no response about the address I'm wondering if In fact they never got rsvp thus we don't have to go??

PPie10 Thu 09-Jun-16 18:50:03

Just Leave it, they haven't given you an address so you don't need to feel rude.

Maryjo15 Thu 09-Jun-16 18:51:46

>opposite sex child they find annoying and harsh.

That rubbed me the wrong way for some reason, you need to try teach your son to respect women more or he will turn out to be a awful man in the future.

HereIAm20 Thu 09-Jun-16 19:17:51

Put yourself in that parent's place. We see so many posts on here with anxious parents who haven't received RSVPs and don't know whether to cater for the 4 they have received RSVPs for or the 20 they invited. In my opinion I think saying yes and then not going is probably worse than not replying and not going. That said if they don't send the address you can't go.

Its probably awful for them to think that their daughter is not settling at a new school and they've probably asked everyone so that she can make friends. Perhaps they haven't replied to your text about the address because her mum has done the same! The daughter might have said Oh NoMummy not that boy - he is the one who is annoying and trying to make people not like me!

Please everyone rsvp when asked to and be courteous to others.

Just bear in mind your child might be the unpleasant kid here. I'd keep an eye on that. When I was turning 10 we moved from London to a small village. The school kids were really horrible to me and I desperately didn't want a birthday party, but my Mum made me invite all the girls in my new class. They all agreed to come, which was weird. When they showed up, they had each taken the gift their parents had provided and traded it with something rubbish from their house. It was pretty obvious from the scrappy half torn, non fitting wrapping what they'd done and from the laughter as I opened the things.

I got a coffee stained picture of Kylie and Jason (years after they were unfashionable), a baby's room picture, a broken mug, a pack of felt tips with all the lids removed so they wouldn't work.

I had to act grateful to those giggling little shits who thought they were so funny, and I had to pretend not to be upset for my mother so she wouldn't be sad too.

Kids refusing to go to parties because they don't like another kid? That's kind of bullying. Just be careful it doesn't become more serious. And try to think of the other child's feelings. I'm 35 - I remember this from 25 years ago.

Winterdaisy Thu 09-Jun-16 19:51:19

Umm my DS does respect women , he will not grow up to be an awful man based on not wanting to attend one girls party at age 8 😠. He has a sister who he adores and a father who is a gentleman. I come from a very strong feminist family. If it's my wording I was trying (but gave up) to give as little identifying info as possible.
He is 8 and clashing with a girl in his class is actually not unheard of in that age group. He has female friends but just finds this little girl for whatever random reason annoying or so he says.
I think I will see if they send me address as nothing I can do if they don't !

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn Thu 09-Jun-16 21:13:46

Ignore the idiotic stuff that is determined to make this something it is not. I have a DS of a similar age, there is a girl in his class that he most definitely dislikes. It has fuck all to do with her being a girl! It is just the person she is that he doesn't like. Children don't have to like everyone.

As they haven't replied I'd just leave it. If they suddenly reply later on, I'd say to your son that you already said yes as that's the answer he gave and he needs to stand by that because they would have counted him and catered and made party bags for those who said yes and it's not fair to let people down. If you hadn't asked him I would say different but you did and he said yes.

Floggingmolly Thu 09-Jun-16 21:29:02

Not wanting to go to the party, and declining politely, is fine. Accepting the invitation and then throwing a strop because he doesn't like the party girl is not fine.
Perhaps your gentlemanly DH could explain this to your ds; as you don't appear to get it either?

Maybenot321 Thu 09-Jun-16 22:12:24

Agree withBeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn
OP balls in the other parents court now, after your 2 texts.
If they do reply, then your son will have to be made to go now, sorry. If nothing else, he will learn a life lesson!
If they don't reply, then take it as a sign that they regret the initial invitation.
Think some people on this thread are trying to wind you up, just ignore.

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