Six months ago one of our DC started receiving DLA and I started receiving carers allowance. Before this, the only money I had was child benefit and £350 per month that DP transferred to me for food. So I paid for all food, my bills (phone, credit card, sofa, store card), school trips, clothes, activities, birthday and Christmas presents and parties out of this. I was really struggling to the point I was walking around with wet feet because my shoes had holes in but I couldn't afford to replace them. When DD started receiving DLA, DP said he would reduce the food money to £250 per month (for two adults and three DC) as I now had other money coming in (tax credits now, also.)
He said this was also because now I received tax credits, he couldn't do over time anymore or it would take his earnings over the threshold so he'd be working for free. I put my foot down and said no. I said £250 is not enough for food for us all and that it is very little out of his £39,000 salary to contribute when he has no other major expenses. He wasn't happy but kept transferring the usual amount.
However since then he's still been doing at least three days over time per month which says to me he was lying about it taking us over the tax credits threshold and that he was just trying to withhold more money. I gave up my career to be a SAHM and have no pension and feel completely financially cut out of the relationship.
Aibu to think he is being a shit here? He contributes £400 p/m to his pension, BTW.
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AIBU?
to think DP has lied and is financially abusive?
40 replies
dondondon99 · 08/06/2016 23:31
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