Was my son wrong to keep this tip?

(65 Posts)
U2HasTheEdge Wed 08-Jun-16 20:13:26

DS is at college and was doing front of house.

The deal is any tips they get they have to put in a jar which goes towards the college for any trips or whatever. A lovely woman gave him a £5.00 tip and DS thanked her and told her that he would put it in the jar. Woman said she wanted him to personally have it because he did such a good job, again he said it had to go in the jar and then she put it in the jar herself.

Minutes later she asked for a handshake, she shook his hand and handed him £1.00 stealthily not so stealthily and said she really wanted him to keep it for himself.

He kept it. He got caught and he needs to meet with his tutor tomorrow and he thinks he's going to get told it was wrong to keep it.

Not a big deal but he asked what my MN friends would have done grin

JackandDiane Wed 08-Jun-16 20:14:25

you are asking about ONE POUND?

IthinkIamsinking Wed 08-Jun-16 20:16:06

It's a pound. I can't believe he has to meet with a tutor about a pound. I think the college are being a bit anal about it but if it's policy then I guess it should have gone into the jar.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 08-Jun-16 20:16:55

The customer put him in a difficult position when she gave him the extra tip.

I think he should have chucked it in the jar to avoid this kind of situation.

LadyStarkOfWinterfell Wed 08-Jun-16 20:18:22

He should have put the pound in the jar after she went. Sorry but he should, that's the agreement.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Wed 08-Jun-16 20:20:23

It should have gone in the jar really, it's only a pound, but then next time it might only be a fiver, or a tenner and the college needs to be seen to be consistent with the rules regardless of the amounts.

I still couldn't be assed pulling someone into a meeting about a pound

U2HasTheEdge Wed 08-Jun-16 20:23:09

I'm not sure what the tutor will say. She might not actually think it matters, another student caught him and went to the tutor, so I'm hoping she might just have said that so others don't think it's acceptable.

I agree with you Still I told him next time he should tell the customer that he could get into trouble if he accepted it.

Pinkheart5915 Wed 08-Jun-16 20:23:30

If the college rules are it has to go in the jar, then that's what he should of done.
I know it's only £1 but they are the rules, if he was working in a restaurant with the same rules he'd had to do what the rules are.

DeathStare Wed 08-Jun-16 20:24:23

Yes he was wrong to keep it. The deal is the tips going a jar. If everyone isn't made to stick by the rule then who decides where the line is? Your son may have thought "it's only a pound it doesn't matter". Someone else may have thought that about a tenner.

The rule is there for a reason, he knew it and agreed to it when taking on the role so yes he should have stuck to it. If he was unclear whether this was an exception to the rule he should have asked a tutor for guidance.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Wed 08-Jun-16 20:28:01

I agree that he should have put it in the jar. I know it seems petty for the sake of a pound but those are the rules.

I used to work in cafes and we weren't allowed to accept tips. We either had to refuse them or put them in the charity pot. I did have a customer once insist that I personally keet her tip and she was very insistent. So I promised her I would keep it but when she left I put it in the charity tin. I felt bad about it but if it was discovered that I kept it then I would have been in trouble.

How did college find out he'd kept the money anyway?

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Wed 08-Jun-16 20:28:25

keep her tip, not keet.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Wed 08-Jun-16 20:29:56

Never mind, x post. Another student told on him.

U2HasTheEdge Wed 08-Jun-16 20:30:40

Toads another student witnessed him putting it in his pocket and told the tutor.

I think he has learnt his lesson because now he is worrying about it. He says the worrying isn't worth the £1.00 which he will put in the jar tomorrow.

mizuzu Wed 08-Jun-16 20:49:50

This is what I hate about shared tips, if you do a good job Why should i share with others who may not do a good job, and its a bloody pound!

yaaasqueen Wed 08-Jun-16 20:51:34

What a stupid system he should keep his tips!

LilacInn Wed 08-Jun-16 20:56:49

It's a stupid system but everyone has to abide by the same rules.

In the future he should just say "thank you" to tippers and then discreetly add the tip to the jar. The explanation to the woman was unnecessary and started the whole issue rolling. Not his fault, he is young and inexperienced in how people behave, but it's a good learning moment. Have him explain this to his tutor and how he would handle the same situation again, and hopefully that will mollify her.

PurpleDaisies Wed 08-Jun-16 20:59:26

What a stupid system he should keep his tips!

That's irrelevant. If those are the rules, those are the rules. He should apologise profusely to the tutor. Hopefully they'll let him off with a warning.

steff13 Wed 08-Jun-16 20:59:38

What does "doing front of house," mean?

nocoolnamesleft Wed 08-Jun-16 21:04:48

The giver of the tip clearly very specifically wanted him to have the tip, rather than the team. He should either have kept it, or declined it. Because the donor did not want to give it to the team, and it was their money. The team was not deprived, because they'd already been given the fiver...and only because he gave good service.

CoI: Just back from a cruise. I gave the specified "goes to everyone to be shared out" amount, but also gave extra to specific people who had gone above and beyond. I would actually be rather naffed off to discover they had shared out the latter ones. This sounds like what the woman did.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack Wed 08-Jun-16 21:10:27

Is he doing some sort of hospitality/business studies course where he's supposed to me learning about how to do a "front of house" job?

That would make it more necessary for the tutor to pull him up over rule breaking I should imagine.

RosieTheCat Wed 08-Jun-16 21:13:06

Recently a friend of Dp's lost his job due to accepting a tip not much more than a pound

If it happens again he dosent need to say anything to the customer about who the tips go to just put it in the pot once they've left or decline it

HiddenMeaning Wed 08-Jun-16 21:13:35

It's not a stupid system especially for all the hard working staff stuck in the kitchen.

OP, I think your son was wrong and a bit daft to keep the tip. If he was seen pocketing it then I suspect the rest of the students will be more pissed off with him than the college will be.

The story about how he ended up with the tip might make it sound like he is trying to justify keeping it. I wonder if he might be better off just saying he wasn't thinking and popped it in his pocket. IYSWIM

Ratty667 Wed 08-Jun-16 21:15:25

Tips are shared, you son was stealing off the other workers...not on.
£1 or £100 it's wrong.

lougle Wed 08-Jun-16 21:16:52

"Could he put it in the pot tomorrow as he plans to then say he put it in his pocket with the intention to put it in the pot once the woman had left but was distracted, and now he's been reminded he's put it in the pot?"

NeedaScarf are you suggesting that the OP's DS compounds his dishonesty (because that's the problem with keeping the £1 - the amount is irrelevant - it was withholding money from the pot that he knew to be rightfully belonging to the pot) with further dishonesty by lying and saying that he had every intention of putting the £1 in the pot??

No, he should have some integrity and explain that he felt awkward after refusing the first tip as a personal gift and gave in to accepting the second gift, wrongly thinking that the lower amount made it less important. However, having had a chance to think, he's realised that the amount is irrelevant and it's the principle that matters.

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