I have got my very first poem!

[welliesandsequins]

I just got a wedding invitation through the post. To my delight it has a money grabbing poem with it. Disappointingly the poem isn't the worst I have ever heard.

the occasion of our marriage
Is a precious time to share
With family, friends and lived ones
We so hope you'll be there

We do not ask you to bring a gift
But if you feel the need
A little money for our honeymoon
Would be very kind indeed

Please don't feel obliged though
Do not feel you must
Just the pleasure of your company
Would mean the world to us

AIBU to wish the poem was a little more grabby, just for the benefit of mn.

[sepa]

I agree that these poems are crap, but what should people put in it? I have heard people complaining when nothing about a gift is put in there.
I'm unmarried (but engaged) I think I may just find a really funny poem which is non gift related just to put something in there

[Kittencatkins123]

I don't think I could go to this wedding after that shitshow.

But if I did, I'd utter every sentence in annoying rhyming couplets throughout the day.

[welliesandsequins]

Good plan Kitten, but I am not sure I will see a lot of the happy couple. Everyone else would just think I am insane wouldn't they?

On a separate note, the bride is a casual (used to be quite good) friend. I have seen the groom around but never had a conversation with him. How much money would you give?

[Kittencatkins123]

It seems unfair and quite a curse
To put up with such awful verse
From a friend who's on the casual side
And quite an irritating bride
But though it's tempting to be biting
You've put up with their dreadful writing
So I'd just stick a tenner in
And spend the rest on lovely gin

[acasualobserver]

I thought the last stanza was the best - certainly the one that would inspire me the most.

[RestlessTraveller]

I hate these, I also hate gift lists and 'registering'. However, imagine if you were the bride to be and you saw someone shitting all over your invitation on a public forum?

[IwillrunIwillfly]

To the people who hate wedding poems and gift list and to the people who don't like when nothing is asked for, what the hell should I put in an invite! Genuine question, I'm planning my wedding and don't know how to please everyone! We don't expect people to give us stuff, but know that most people will want to so in that case we'd rather money to out towards a honeymoon. But I'd really not care if someone brought nothing but came and enjoyed the day with us. So over to MN, what do I do to avoid featuring on an aibu!

[seoulsurvivor]

Yes, the poem is rubbish, but I really don't get why people think it's greedy to ask for money. Every single invitation I've seen asking for money always says 'if you want, you don't have to.'

Total non issue, and gives guests one less thing to do.

[DailyMailYobos]

I'm disappointed on your behalf. At least it is unlikely to go viral

[Cheezewhizz]

I don't mind giving cash
It saves me a terrible dash
I would give her a tenner
As I don't know her better
Than that guy with the huge bushy tash

But all my issues began
When the poem don't scan
And it made me use terrible grammar which I can't get over.

[ProteusRising]

iwillrun if you don't want to sound greedy, why not set up a justgiving page with donations going to one or more charities of your choice? You can put a link to that in with the invitation.

[Marilynsbigsister]

There is really no dilemma. The whole 'issue' is a new invention. There is no need for any pondering. For hundreds of years weddings were conducted in this manner : An invitation to a wedding is sent to a guest detailing the names of the parties involved. The time, the date and the venue. There is also an address for RSVP.

At no point are gifts mentioned. Simply not necessary. Most people will not consider attending a wedding without a present but that is left to the guest. Very very tacky to mention them at any point.

You get what you are given. Sometimes it's presents sometimes money. A savvy guest would make enquiries of close relatives such as parents, who would be able to express a preference if they know.

My own wedding ten years ago, mostly money, and a few beautiful gifts. It was a second marriage so people assume 'things' are not really required to set up home but to 'discuss', 'request' or God forbid 'register' is just horrible, grabby and frankly not very British - after all, it's not really a surprise that a wedding gift is normal for a wedding. It's not like people would forget if not reminded !

[Millyonthefloss]

Agree with Marilyn.

Do not mention gifts on invite. People will ask you when they rsvp. And you then say. No need to buy a gift but if you really want to you can bung a tenner in our honeymoon fund. Then you give bank details.

[WordGetsAround]

Agree with Milly. Send out invites, no mention of presents or money. 90% people will ask and then send them gift list reference (with a range of presents on and nothing more expensive than £150). Thats what we did and it worked very well. We initially didn't want a list at all but someone pointed out that that puts a lot of stress on the first to think of something. I agree with this and much prefer to buy off list, knowing it is something they would like.

[Nectarines]

I think most people give money/ vouchers as wedding presents without being told to. By not mentioning gifts in invitation, you'll still get cash from a lot of guests but it means people with less to spare can choose a present that they can afford.

[Ginmakesitallok]

Don't mention gifts on invite. Surely people who you are inviting to your wedding know you well enough to call and ask what you would like for a gift?

[Katkincake]

We didn't mention gifts on our invites. We did a John Lewis gift list and I mentioned on Facebook that we were off to go scanning and i'd restrain DH from going mad, that gave people a clue that there was a gift list (mainly done to please elderly relatives who were asking my mum). I also put something on wedding website we had for travel / hotel info, but mainly people just asked.

We had other vouchers for high street shops, cheques and some lovely gifts as well as some stuff off our list, which arrives this weekend - hurrah no more chipped ikea plates and mismatched cutlery!

Anyway back to the poem, agree pretty tame compared to some, but I did chuckle at them wanting to celebrate with "lived" ones - assume just a typo

[Kittykatmacbill]

I had one recently they are generally utterly unbearable, but it was so badly written I couldn't work out if there was a gift list or not. I feel it is probably a bit passive aggressive to ask for a poem translation. Which is pity (for them) as I would have happily got them a 'wee minding' from a John Lewis list, and seeing it's an evening only invite 4 hours away, which we can't get too, I won't be using there 'wishing well' either.

[Laiste]

I think asking is rude.

I mentioned nothing about gifts or money on our invites. 100% of guests just put money in their cards to us on the day. No poems. No fuss. No hand wringing.

Surely everyone coming to a wedding will know the set up of the bride and groom and i imagine these days there's very few couples getting married and leaving home for the first time as well. Most guests will automatically just bung a bit of cash in with the card without being asked to.

[tupperwareAARGGH]

I've never met a single person in real life that ever has a problem with these poems etc. Not a single one.

[PolkadotsAndMoonbeams]

I do if they don't rhyme properly tupperware I'd prefer them to write a proper sentence or two!

[ProteusRising]

What did yours say tupperware ?

[NinaSimoneful]

If I were to do it all again I would include a handy little poem in with our invitations:

The best things in life are free
But you can keep them for the birds and bees
I want money
That's what I want
That's what I want
That's what I wa-haw-haw-haunt yeah
That's what I want
That's what I want

Might as well be upfront about it

[RandyMagnum]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Give us your money
If not... fuck you