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to get annoyed by a weekend away...

(179 Posts)
lill72 Tue 07-Jun-16 15:35:01

A weekend with friends and children was organised. I was never fully committed due to personal factors but was always annoyed that the location meant having to take children out of school or at least leaving work early - something not possible for my family. Apparently there are additional traffic delays meaning if you dont leave by after lunch, you will be signifianlty delayed. We can't leave early so now we are really forced to leave saturday morning. If we do this, we still have to pay the full amount for the weekend. This makes it a lot for one night. It is not like I have said I was in, I was almost a latecomer. But it seems like it is all in or not. Even though I was never fully in agreement in the first place. Feel like it suits certain people and I just have to slot it. What is fair?

TeaBelle Tue 07-Jun-16 15:37:29

I'm confused - did you or another member of your party agree to attend and pay?

BranTriLlygaid Tue 07-Jun-16 15:38:34

Hmm I think you're being a bit unreasonable. I think you should have figured out if you could fully commit or not before the trip. Make a proper decision to go or not, you can't half commit then moan about it. Who are you paying? Is it friends or the actual place?

lill72 Tue 07-Jun-16 15:47:15

A friend organised and we pretty much had no choice. I could not ommit at the time due to my husbands work so my friend said I could opt in later. I just feel like the friend orgnaised the weekend to suit her and what she could do (ie have fri off) but this was something I could never do.

My friend orgainised and all have paid but me - they offered me an opt in clause. which is great. but they whole scenario was difficult from the start. I said this but they went ahead anyway.we are friends so just thought they may have considered what was possible/not possible for others. ie easy for them to take days off, for us not, driving day late friday makes for a midnight arrival in shared accom - us with a baby.

branofthemist Tue 07-Jun-16 15:50:38

So you are annoyed the weekend doesn't suit you (but suits others) event though you haven't committed to going at any point?


BranTriLlygaid Tue 07-Jun-16 15:51:29

I still don't understand why you couldn't say yes or no for certain at the time, especially with the circumstances you have given? Surely you could have said 'that doesn't work for me, but thanks for the offer'?

blueskyinmarch Tue 07-Jun-16 15:51:56

If you were latecomer to something already planned then you can’t really moan about the location. You either go and accept it will be late Friday or early Saturday you get there, or you don’t go at all. You have an opt in clause which means you can also opt out.

nobilityobliges Tue 07-Jun-16 15:52:49

Well, since you weren't committing you can hardly have expected them to organise it around your convenience! If it doesn't suit, don't go, it seems like that's the deal they've offered you anyway. If you are disappointed not seeing them, maybe organise something for later in the year yourself?

OrianaBanana Tue 07-Jun-16 15:52:53

Agreed YABU. If you're not opting in from the start and might not go, I don't know why they should have done things to suit you? Why don't you just not go?

ParadiseCity Tue 07-Jun-16 15:53:11

Is this a reverse?

You have been invited to do something. If you want to, go. If you don't want to then just say no thanks.

Next time you could organise it yourself?

Magstermay Tue 07-Jun-16 15:54:26

I think if you couldn't commit at the time they were organising you can't ask them to organise around you just in case. If you don't want to go then don't opt in and don't pay!

OllyBJolly Tue 07-Jun-16 16:23:56

Of course you had a choice - she is allowing you to opt in. If you don't want to go, then don't.

I had great weekends away with Saturday nights only. Leave early on Saturday, whole day Sat & Sun, leave late Sunday.

You're moaning your friends organised this to suit themselves - should they have organised it to suit only you? Is that your idea of "fair"?

whois Tue 07-Jun-16 16:32:52

You didn't want to go. You said you weren't going. Noe you're moaning becase it its suited to how you want to do the weekend.

Y. A. B. hugely U.

whois Tue 07-Jun-16 16:33:20

Why can't you just dive up friday night? Why do you have to go Friday lunchtime or Sat morning?

PPie10 Tue 07-Jun-16 16:35:33

Well are you being forced to go?

Dozer Tue 07-Jun-16 16:37:46

It's inaccurate to say you "had no choice". You have the choice to go or not!

You sound rather preoccupied with traffic.

LagunaBubbles Tue 07-Jun-16 16:38:17

A friend organised and we pretty much had no choice

Of course you did - if it didnt suit you could have said this and said no. confused

araiba Tue 07-Jun-16 16:38:45


either go or don't- your choice

but if at any stage, you have said you will go then its your own fault and you must deal with it

MrsSpecter Tue 07-Jun-16 16:39:49

Hang in, you wanted them to arrange the weekend to accomodate you despite you refusing to say whether you were actually going or not?

Floggingmolly Tue 07-Jun-16 16:41:49

Don't be ridiculous, saying you had no choice hmm. You chose to say yes, knowing it didn't suit you; why??

WhatALoadOfWankers Tue 07-Jun-16 16:45:27

Reverse ?
Don't go if if doesn't suit you , you won't enjoy it

kslatts Tue 07-Jun-16 16:47:24


You wouldn't commit but wanted everything organised to suit you.

Maybe offer to organise next time

GeorgeTheThird Tue 07-Jun-16 16:54:19

Oh God, I've got a friend like you. Refuses to commit, but expects a say in the arrangements nonetheless. She's a pain in the arse.

Itriedtodohandstandsforyou Tue 07-Jun-16 17:03:42

YABU I'm afraid. Why did you never commit and organise an early start on the fri with plenty of notice for school and work?

WanHeda Tue 07-Jun-16 17:03:55

So you chose to opt in, after they had arranged it all, and are now moaning you don't like the arrangements? WTF?

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