to hate weddings?!

[milkyface]

AIBU to hate weddings?

I am always happy for the couple in question don't get me wrong but weddings just don't do it for me!

There's the looooong ceremony (especially if in a church) and then the undoubtedly long wait for the probably crap food. All the people you haven't seen in years who you can't really be arsed talking to.
All the questions of when it's your turn ask my fucking boyfriend and then staying in an overpriced hotel room because the venues in the arse end of nowhere

Aibu? Or have I just not been to many decent weddings? I reckon I might quite like an 'alternative' one?!

--Or am I just a miserable bitch

[MrsFring]

YANBU. Bloody loathe them. Pah.

[CMOTDibbler]

We went to a nice one this weekend - 3pm ceremony at the registry office, by 4pm we were done with photos. Off to country pub to sit in the sun, 6pm BBQ, short speeches, pud, cake, sit in garden again. Chips at 10, home at 11.

Lovely.

[ENormaSnob]

I dislike the pain in arse ones. Or traditional all day boring affairs with far too little to eat or drink.

A relaxed village hall/marquee/pub beer garden would suit me better I think.

[TheNaze73]

YANBU, you can't argue you a feeling & if they make you feel like that, then so be it. Is the fact your boyfriend hasn't proposed the bigger issue here?

[Trills]

I think your problem is that you are going to weddings whee the guests are people who you can't really be arsed talking to.

[Ineedmorelemonpledge]

CMOT that sounds like the perfect wedding to me. mainly because of the chips

YANBU when it comes to most of the country house, chicken with a medley of seasonal vegetables, followed by a trio of miniature desserts type affairs, they all seem to merge into one bland event.

I like the more relaxed affairs. I guess it's hard to cater for everyone when there's such an age and taste range to cover with guests.

[milkyface]

CMOT that sounds a lot less tedious than any wedding I've been to!

[milkyface]

TheNaze possibly! I know he will do it eventually and I don't have an issue with that in itself but it's become somewhat of a running joke....

[milkyface]

trills that's the thing tho isn't it, you go because of the bride and groom... You don't necessarily know who else is gonna be there... Who's on your table etc!

If I couldn't be arsed talking to the bride and groom I wouldn't go, but you can't pre empt being sat on a table with the grooms great uncle robert who discusses his toy train collection over dinner etc ..

[ElspethFlashman]

I find they're a lot more bearable if you stop for a filthy burger after the church so you're not an antichrist by dinner.

Also a lot more bearable after you get married yourself and people don't bug you about when it's your turn. Actually after you get married you become pleasantly invisible at weddings.

And I have been known to go up to the hotel room and watch telly for an hour at about 3.30 just cos it starts to drag like mad and theres a loooong way to go. Bliss.

[DoinItFine]

A whole day of drinking with friends.

What's not to like?

[DoinItFine]

And I have been known to go up to the hotel room and watch telly for an hour at about 3.30

Murder She Wrote?

Sounds good.

[milkyface]

Well when you put it like that doinit

My view is probably somewhat clouded as the last wedding i went to I was pregnant and the next one I am attending i will have a very small child in tow, so no all day drinking sesh's for me

[TheCladdagh]

I don't much like them. I end up feeling short-changed because we've have hauled ass to somewhere distant (our friends are spread around the world) because we're very fond of the bride and/or groom (or, increasingly, the bride and bride), and they've gone to huge amounts of trouble to give everyone a good time, but the guests don't generally know one another, we're wrangling a demanding small child, and often acting as translators between different language speakers. I find them exhausting.

So we didn't have one. We went to the local registry office with two witnesses.

[darceybussell]

Yes it's crazy that people spend £20-30k on the big country house wedding only for it to be exactly the same as every other wedding and for everyone to think that the food was a bit shit and the day dragged a bit! I didn't bother with any of that stuff for that exact reason.

However I actually quite like going to weddings. If you know lots of other guests I think they are good fun, but I appreciate if you don't know anyone they're not.

[milkyface]

thecladdagh that's what I'd do!

If we ever do it I want either a very low key affair with no dry chicken and long waits between things or I want to just elope and throw a nice big party at some point afterwards....

[puglife15]

Friends weddings where you get together with loads of old buddies and laugh and drink loads and dance are the best. Some of my favourite days ever have been at weddings. But maybe I'm lucky in that only one wedding in the past 10 years has been a church ceremony (tedious but lovely reception afterwards). I've been to boat weddings, fairground weddings, woodland weddings, farm weddings, gritty central London weddings, karaoke bar weddings. Only one in a hotel. And none where the blokes have worn those awful fat shiny ties in matching colours.

So YANBU but maybe you just need friends who don't plan shit boring weddings!

[EssentialHummus]

I always go and get involved in the dancing / photos / mingling etc, but, no, I dislike the stiffness and formality that seems to be a part of weddings like this. And I just can't imagine wanting to chuck £10k+ at it. And there always seems to be some family micro-drama on the go about who was/n't invited, why Mary wasn't a bridesmaid etc.

We're getting married soon and you can guess what our day will be like

[TheNaze73]

Why don't you ask him milky? It is a leap year after all. Go for it 😀

[Krampus]

Yanbu I have been to loads of tedious ones.

My favourite was one where the ceremony was at a registery office then we all walked to a restaurant that they had completely booked out, no first dance or long speeches.

I found my own wedding tedious and wish we had done it differently, at least the ceremony and reception were at the same venue with lots of motels near by. I do remember the venue people asking me kts of questions about colours, seat coverings, flowers and me not giving a shit.

[YorkieDorkie]

YABU! Weddings are great love a good do!

Went to one on Saturday - marquee in a country club ground, gorgeous meal of mullet and risotto to start, lamb and trimmings for main and sticky toffee pudding for dessert. Gorgeous! Beautiful wines on the table all night, lovely green surroundings.

Another in October and I can't wait!

[Sonders]

This thread really depresses me as I'm getting married in a couple months, and I hate the thought of anyone being there that doesn't want to be.

I've spent the past year trying to plan the best possible day for my guests, making as much as possible to save on costs whilst still somehow spending all our money, and it sucks to hear that despite all that, some guests are going to be miserable anyway.

How about you just RSVP with no? As the old MN saying goes, it's an invite, not a summons.

[milkyface]

puglife a fairground?!?! Now that seems a lot more interesting than a generic hotel and shiny ties

[SapphireStrange]

YANBU. Seen that film Melancholia? A lot of it takes place at a wedding where the protagonist has massive problems with depression and alienation and the world is about to end.

To me it felt like pretty much all the weddings I've been to
Endless standing about/circling rooms looking for your partner/friend/the bride/the groom.
Fending off drunken idiots.
Food by numbers.
Terrible DJs.
General sense of one's life trickling away.

[milkyface]

TheNaze suppose I could! Never really thought about it!