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ask for an exit interview and be brutally honest as to why I am leaving my job?

(47 Posts)
Myusernameismyusername Mon 06-Jun-16 23:51:44

a large part of me thinks this is probably pointless in all honesty, and nothing will really change and life will just carry on without me in the same chaotic shitty manner as always, tied up in red tape and buracracy.

I am torn over whether its the right thing to do, for the sake of the next person who takes my job or a waste of my time and energy and I should just skip off to pastures new and be happy.

Brief outline: stressful job, poor management with awful incompetent colleagues. Am leaving for own mental wellbeing

DelphiniumBlue Mon 06-Jun-16 23:52:45

Depends whether you'll ever need a reference from them!

EBearhug Mon 06-Jun-16 23:55:15

I gave feedback after I left my last job. I heard some things did change after. Don't know if it was just down to me, but I doubt I was the first to have raised the points I did. I tried to be constructive, not just critical.

JapaneseSlipper Mon 06-Jun-16 23:55:51

It's tempting, but I do suspect you won't give a crap in 6 months or so. It's nice to be able to walk off with your head held high, having kept a dignified silence!

Myusernameismyusername Tue 07-Jun-16 00:03:55

I will already have had the reference by then! wink

AugustaFinkNottle Tue 07-Jun-16 00:13:04

A colleague of mine did this. It was hilarious, the boss just couldn't cope with it, and he spent the rest of the day emailing her to argue with her. Since she had nothing to lose, she emailed back every time spelling out why he was wrong and didn't know what he was talking about, and he got more and more agitated. I have no idea what he thought he would gain by it, he was just getting increasingly wound up and looking a real twat whilst he was clearly never going to change her mind. Still, it gave the rest of us a highly entertaining afternoon and we like to think it ruined his weekend. Because he was a total knob.

Sadly, when it came to my turn not long after, he'd learnt his lesson and decided maybe he could do without an exit interview.

Disabrie22 Tue 07-Jun-16 00:16:05

I've done it - but new I was walking into a new job that I was head hunted for with no reference needed. It felt really good to tell the truth. I was one of a few who did it - nothing changed after we left but I felt I had said what needed to be said.

paxillin Tue 07-Jun-16 00:44:42

I thought long and hard about it and didn't do it in the end. Depends how bad things are, I think mine wouldn't have changed, it was so bad. If they are just a bit incompetent and the pointers might help others, maybe.

Myusernameismyusername Tue 07-Jun-16 00:51:24

They know what the issues are, to be fair to them they have made attempts at changes already but for me it's just too late. I think this is more about me wondering about my peace of mind. I'm always constructive with any feedback. I don't like the idea of leaving anywhere on a bad note but then if I could make a difference then maybe I should go for it?
Argh! grin

dodobookends Tue 07-Jun-16 00:58:33

I did this (in a roundabout way) once. I'd been working for one of a group of connected companies all in the same building, and the MD of one of the others asked me why I was leaving so I told him. I'd worked for his bit of the business for a time and we got on well - he was a decent sort. Felt quite good to get it all off my chest, and he sat there open-mouthed while I ranted!

Babymamamama Tue 07-Jun-16 01:23:20

It's not worth it. Don't burn your bridges. You never know when you might need a reference.

Plaintalkin Tue 07-Jun-16 02:09:53

As a very senior manager in a large global company I have to say there is no point at all.

I'm sad to say it and somewhat ashamed but if I did your exit interview and you listed all the shortcomings and I took it to my manager I know what she'd say...... Sour grapes !! She'd infer it was spite and you're not there to give examples or defend your comments and in all likelihood it would be brushed under the carpet.

If it makes you feel better do it but don't expect much in the way of sympathy or change.

My personal advice - what will it achieve ? I wouldn't waste your time, look forward to your new role.

EBearhug Tue 07-Jun-16 08:54:08

Write it, and send it to HR. Recruitment costs money, so they're a bit more likely to care than the manager you're leaving, if it's clear there are things which can be changed

RhiWrites Tue 07-Jun-16 08:58:09

I always like to have an exit interview conducted by a colleague so that people say as honestly as possible what they think of the team and my management. Even if I don't agree with every point there's always food for thought and reflective practice.

Do it!

Trills Tue 07-Jun-16 09:03:40

You'll be doing a kindness to the people who are still working there.

LordoftheTits Tue 07-Jun-16 09:14:24

I had an exit interview when I left my last job (not my decision, my senior manager scheduled it) and I'm glad I did. I fucking hated that job, the person who was supposed to be training me up was due to start a new job a week a week after I started so I got a very brief overview of the tasks and then I was left to drown in work I had no idea how to do. We were so busy (Admissions office in a RG university) but my colleagues were scrambling about trying to keep my head above water where possible.

My manager had never line managed anyone and it was painfully obvious in the way she would publicly haul me out into meetings, tell me that I was doing a terrible job and frog march me out with no instructions on how to fix it. She used to rummage around on my desk when I wasn't there to find things I'd done badly, but only well after the fact when she could have stopped me while I was doing it so I could rectify the issue at the time. I lasted ten months before I just couldn't bear to cry in the toilets again and left.

I was brutally honest and the senior manager was lovely about it. He said it was unacceptable and that he would take on board all of my points.

wasonthelist Tue 07-Jun-16 09:17:58

I refuse to participate in exit interviews. If they cared, they could have asked when I worked there. When I have decided to leave, it's too late.

80Kgirl Tue 07-Jun-16 09:30:21

Say whatever you like.

Most companies won't give a reference beyond confirming dates of employment and job title. They don't want to be bothered or end up in any messy arguments over whether their reference was "fair." Much easier to stick with the bare facts.

RiceCrispieTreats Tue 07-Jun-16 09:33:34

Presumably, you are leaving because they didn't listen to your constructive suggestions while you still worked there.

They have even fewer reasons to listen to a colleague who's leaving. So don't fool yourself that you'd be doing it in order to obtain change.

If it would help you to get stuff off your chest, then go right ahead. But that's all that it will be.

KitKat1985 Tue 07-Jun-16 09:35:06

I refuse to participate in exit interviews. If they cared, they could have asked when I worked there. When I have decided to leave, it's too late.

^ This. I once worked in a job as a mental health nurse in a ward with a particularly aggressive group of patients. We had daily restraints and staff assaults exacerbated by always being short-staffed. The management didn't give a crap that there were staff (including myself) getting injured everyday. It got so bad I used to be physically sick with stress before leaving for work. I didn't bother asking for an exit interview. If they didn't care at the time they weren't going to care when I was leaving!

In the main though, I'd always say don't burn your bridges. This was very forcibly nailed home to me a couple of years ago when DH left a job he had been at for 7 years for a better paid job. He left on good terms with them. He was at his new job for two weeks before they turned around and said he wasn't right for the role and as he was still only in his probation period they felt it best he just left. Thank fuck he left on good terms with hi sold employers who not only gave him good references for new jobs he was applying for but even gave him some freelance work to do whilst he looked for a new job so we had some money coming in. I'm eternally grateful that DH left on good terms with them. I guess what I'm saying is you never know when you might need a job reference. Plus a lot of places ask for your 5 year employment history for references etc so be careful before you burn bridges.

EarthboundMisfit Tue 07-Jun-16 09:38:13

I've thought about it with one job, but decided it would do more harm than good.

Liiinooo Tue 07-Jun-16 09:54:01

I was very honest in an exit interview. Not brutal, just very clear about why I wasn't happy with what was expected of the role. The interviewer was surprised but open to it. I have since been invited back to work on short term contracts with the changes I specified built into my new brief.

Vriksasana Tue 07-Jun-16 09:59:17

Don't do it. The same characters have a way of cropping up again when you least expect it and only recently I was in a situation where I thought to myself ''thank goodness I held back on that feedback form''

LikeASoulWithoutAMind Tue 07-Jun-16 10:16:22

How big is your industry? I always work on the basis that I never know when I might cross paths with the same character again as a colleague or a client.

MrsCampbellBlack Tue 07-Jun-16 10:21:54

I would welcome honest feedback to be honest. It is easy to tell sour grapes as opposed to good constructive feedback.

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