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WIBU to bring them back to their mum because of road situation?

(19 Posts)
Vandree Mon 06-Jun-16 20:58:02

I have 3 children (7,6&2) and we live on a small estate where cars need to go through our road to get to their own cul-d-sacs. They drive very quickly around the corner and tbh its an accident waiting to happen. In the past couple of days I have let the older 2 out on their bikes with rules to stay where I can see them,watch for cars reversing and to not leave the path. We have had issues last year with older kids from next door taking their bikes and coming into the house to the back garden uninvited so I keep an eye and have the door and front window open so I can see whats going on. There are 15 houses on each side of the road and other than next door neighbours the only other kids are toddlers.

Or so we thought. House has been rented and yesterday morning Ive noticed a young girl of around 5 pushing her 3 year old brother in his buggy up and down the road. I had no idea where they were from and assumed they were from a house down the road with visitors. I watched for a minute as the girl started pushing the buggy across the road and back not once watching for cars. We were heading out and again I assumed they were visiting. That was until this afternoon when my two were out. They ended up playing with these other two kids and I asked my oldest did she know where they lived(other end of the estate across from us seemingly). I went out to cut the grass and in the time I was out cutting the grass and then letting my toddler play no one ever checked on them. They ran into the road I dont know how many times even as I told them not to or to watch for cars. At one point my 2 year old and the 3 year old had either end of a skipping road and the 3 year old started dragging my 2 year old out into the road. Again the girls ran out just as a car was coming around the corner and I let out a roar to get off the road and the driver braked quite hard and gave me a nod out the window, I think we both had a fright. This happened a few times so I told mine it was time to come in for dinner and I walked the other kids across the road and told them to find their mam.

5 minutes later the 3 year old has his head in my front window which is still open and the 5 year old is playing in our front garden. I again took them across the road and told them we were having dinner and the kids would be out tomorrow. They are out the front of my house again.

WIBU to bring them home and speak to their parents? They are only barely 3 and 5. The 3 year old is a few months older than my son and there is no way I would let him out by himself or with his sisters. Its not a quiet road with a green to play in, there are cars flying up and down the road constantly no matter how quiet it looks and we are near the corner and there are cars parked on the street so anyone driving around the corner has a good chance of hitting a child playing in the street. How would I even phrase it without coming off like a total busy body? I watch my own like a hawk I cant be out on the street watching someone elses kids when they think its ok to let them wander. Because they are on the road outside our house waiting for our kids who are in bed I feel responsible. They should be outside their own house if their parents are going to let them cross in front of traffic.

Vandree Mon 06-Jun-16 20:58:31

Sorry its so bloody long

TeenAndTween Mon 06-Jun-16 21:02:21

You wouldn't forgive yourself if there was an accident and you hadn't warned the parents about how dangerous the road is.

BurningBridges Mon 06-Jun-16 21:05:07

so have you not seen the parents all day?

blueturtle6 Mon 06-Jun-16 21:05:54

Tell them there was a near accident and explain cars speed down the road? Tbh we had a similar issue a few years ago in my area, parents didn't care nothing was ever done despite it being reported to community police several times.

Buggers Mon 06-Jun-16 21:07:06

Oh dear!confused its quite late now shouldn't they be in bed anyway?! Have they been out all day, not gone home for dinner or anything?

Vandree Mon 06-Jun-16 21:08:08

Not seen them once. The kids have run in and out so the front door is open and the kids did go in for dinner at 6 but were straight back out. My two said the mum called them in so they are there. Its a bank holiday here today.

whois Mon 06-Jun-16 21:09:01

You are totally not being U!

Defo warn the parents about the road situation.

Can you take yours to play in the park or something to ride their bikes or something - just seems like you're going to be de facto parent and end up looking out for them if you're playing out the front.

Buggers Mon 06-Jun-16 21:11:32

I'd perhaps tell them its time to go home now as your dc won't be out to play anymore. Then shut the door and window, problem is if you take them home you will become their childminder for the parents!

Buggers Mon 06-Jun-16 21:15:39

Do parents really need to be warned that it's not safe for a 3yr & 5yr old to walk around on their own all day and all evening?! They don't sound like the type of parents that would give a crap to be honest. If their still there at 10 I'd ring the police or someone. Totally irresponsible.

Vandree Mon 06-Jun-16 21:19:53

I brought my kids in at 7 as we were having a bbq, they watched tv and have been in bed a while. Ive brought the kids back over their side of the road twice and told them to go home. They were obviously told to go back out to play.

I checked a minute ago they are finally gone.

I must have a kind face, I always end up minding other peoples kids. School pick ups are the bane of my life. I let the younger two play at the parish hall outside with me in attendance and all the parents send their kids out to play as soon as they see me. Im going to have to be a bit more assertive I think .

Another day off school tomorrow, if I see them Im going to have to knock into the parents and explain the car situation to them amn't I? Oh god not looking forward to that. Last year I just stopped the kids playing out when next door was out!

Vandree Mon 06-Jun-16 21:22:05

Its quite a nice (or naice?) suburban area. Mainly older couples or young families with a few newly married couples moving in. The kids seem lovely, but yeah the judgy part of mean is a bit hmmmm at letting such young kids out unattended.

mummyto2monkeys Mon 06-Jun-16 21:22:25

To be honest, if I saw a five year old in charge of a three year old, regularly running across a very busy road and had not seen an adult look for them during the extensive time that you have been watching them, I would call 101 or social services for advice. My Mum had a neighbour who would regularly send her baby out in the pram with her four year old brother a nd eight year old sister. They were often locked out of the house and the girl would be . Left in tears begging her Mother to let them in. Then their Father would come home from working shifts and panic as at ten o clock at night the three children were missing and the Mother was asleep in bed. The mother was reported and support was given to the family. I would never be able to forgive myself if something awful happened to the children and I had not reported it

Buggers Mon 06-Jun-16 21:23:23

Glad they have gone home! I'm shocked someone lets their 3yr old roam the streets though. Hope it goes well with their parents! Don't expect it to make much difference though.

OiWithThePoodlesAlready Mon 06-Jun-16 21:30:48

God, I feel nervous just reading that. You were definitely right to take them back.

There is a similar issue on my road. Some of the kids (ages 5 up) use the road as a playground. Football, scooters, bikes, sitting and lying down in it! Even when it is getting dark they'll be lying down in the middle of the road. When a car comes they just slowly get up and casually go to the edge of the road. It's crazy but their parents are totally aware and are the type wouldn't take kindly to a visit.

clarrrp Mon 06-Jun-16 21:40:42

I would take them to their own house and explain to the parents that a)it's dangerous on that bit of road and b) should those kids really be unsupervised all day?

Petal40 Mon 06-Jun-16 21:47:48

I've 4 kids.we live in a throu road.but still people drive like maniacs....I would of loved the idea of my kids playing out the chatting to a neighbour ,the odd water fight in summer....but it's not going to happen...I've never let my kids play out the front .cars go toofast 😪

Vandree Mon 06-Jun-16 21:48:41

I think busy body or not for my own conscience I'll have to say something. If even just that there have been a couple of near misses with cars on the corner and we are heading out so I just wanted to make sure they got back safely. Id probably be totally unreasonable to tell them to watch their own kids and teach them how to cross the bloody road.

Its also headwreaking having them hanging off the wall or in the window so we end up pulling the blind. I felt terrible telling the 3 year old to go away and closing the window and blind earlier. Because hes only 3, a baby.

I feel better that im not being unreasonable. DH thinks I should just ignore them. My first AIBU has been lovely thanks smile

Jodders Mon 06-Jun-16 21:58:34

It sounds like we live in the same estate Vandree lol! I too am at my wits end worrying about the kids being let out alone. Last year I witnessed a 2 year old and a 4 year old walking around for 45 mins barefoot with no sign of an adult. I felt I couldn't leave them either. It's a hard situation to be in. Tomorrow my two are off school too. It's meant to rain all day tomorrow so hopefully they won't be out.

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