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AIBU to scream that my mental health issues are not my fault?

(15 Posts)
SwearyGodmother Mon 06-Jun-16 18:53:30

I'm ill. It's shit. I have suffered with mental health issues since I was in my very early teens and have spent the last two years in a really hideous place. I'm just clawing my way back to functionality at the moment and have been floored by being told that according to my family my MH issues are down to "all the drugs you took when you were travelling in Thailand".

I did travel in Thailand when I was 20/21 but I didn't take drugs there. Even if I had I fail to see how that would cause me to be ill from the age of 13. Of course my depression/EDNOS of my teens is rewritten as me being wilful, or being allergic to my braces, or having been canoeing.

I know that the people that come out with this are unkind in the extreme and utterly fucking nuts, but AIBU to scream bloody murder at them? My mental illness is not my fault - it's a fucking illness!

Lariflete Mon 06-Jun-16 19:22:49

No. You wouldn't be unreasonable at all.
I have suffered in a similar vein as you since childhood. A friend of mine died recently from depression and it has been so hurtful to hear how many people say 'I could never do that to my children' as though it's a fucking choice
Ignorance about mental illness is so depressing and so prevalent.
If you feel up to it, tell your detractors in words of single syllables how drugs work and that just being in the same country as them doesn't give you mental illness.

MrsHathaway Mon 06-Jun-16 19:39:07

Of course it isn't your fault.

They're only saying so because they have a sneaky suspicion it's their fault. A lot of MH issues stem from childhood particularly EDs, borderline, etc.

cake brew flowers wine as appropriate.

KittyandTeal Mon 06-Jun-16 19:43:53

I have fairly significant mh issues from early teenage years (bpd, ednos)

I now know they aren't my fault and that there is someone to blame (I was pretty badly abused for a number of years) however, I am lucky that I have understanding people around me.

I agree with mrshathaway, are they on the defensive because they have an inkling that maybe it's linked to their behaviour?

greyscalealmond Mon 06-Jun-16 20:04:40

May I join you in screaming it out?


Thanks. YADDDNBU grin

Babyroobs Mon 06-Jun-16 20:10:09

YANBU - I too have had 2 friends end their lives after suffering from depression/ mental health issues for many years. When I hear people call them selfish ( and many have said that) it makes me so cross. there si such a lack of understanding.

ProudAS Tue 07-Jun-16 05:54:34

Does my head in - why would anybody have mental health problems through choice??

SwearyGodmother Tue 07-Jun-16 08:25:06

I think that you may have a point MrsHathaway if they were prone to any form of insight or ability to take responsibility for the tiniest thing but I honestly don't think they'd ever consider the myriad of genetic and environmental factors that add up to cause MH issues.

It's the blame I'm really struggling with. That they're so desperate to make it my fault that they're making shit up about it.

MrsHathaway Tue 07-Jun-16 09:39:09

I'm sorry to hear that. It does prove their opinion is worthless and certainly not deserving of your attention.

I hope you believe us when we tell you they're talking bollocks. It can be hard to unhear malicious and unkind remarks.

EveryoneElsie Tue 07-Jun-16 09:44:09

Your family sound toxic.
They have been talking about this behind your back instead of to your face.
Maybe they need a myth because they are too scared to look at their own potential contribution.

Its a shame you cant choose your family as you deserve a much better one.

Sighing Tue 07-Jun-16 09:46:44

I realise these are your family but if you can reduce your time with these people doing what they can to blame you for things outside your control. They're idiots and they're chipping away at your self confidence (it almost sounds deliberate). flowers scream at length, if it helps, but avoiding them will work better.

awhfuck Tue 07-Jun-16 10:20:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SwearyGodmother Tue 07-Jun-16 10:24:10

I'm between therapists at the moment - my NHS funding finished and I haven't sorted out a private one yet. I think my headspace over this and a few issues my sister chose to enlighten me with means I need to get of my arse and sort one out.

We were very LC - indeed I didn't speak to them from November until May over them shouting at me for upsetting them with my MH issues (I wish I was exaggerating) and then slamming the phone down on me so I couldn't respond. I got back in contact because my sister, who lives overseas with her family, was visiting. I'm regretting that now.

APomInOz Tue 07-Jun-16 10:35:53

You poor love, you are definitely not being unreasonable - wouldn't it be great if they did a post and we could all happily declare...

mizuzu Tue 07-Jun-16 12:10:05

No its not your fault just so many people are IGNORANT about MH

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