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To think school trips should be all or nothing?

(102 Posts)
LunaLoveg00d Mon 06-Jun-16 15:43:40

We are in Scotland, school trips here are not part of the curriculum so there is none of this "donation" thing. You pay, or you don't go.

My son is approaching the final year of Primary school and in September all of the kids in the year have the chance to go on a Monday - Friday residential trip at a rural location around an hour away. In previous years, everyone has gone, bar one or two children who have either just joined the school or who have complex medical needs. We had a meeting with a rep from the centre a week ago and one of the parents looked very concerned throughout. The centre does push them out of their comfort zones to do abseiling, hiking, orienteering and sailing, but it's all very safe, high staff/student ratios etc.

Son comes home today saying child of this concerned parent is not going on trip despite having paid deposit. Parents are very concerned that there will not be any adults sleeping in the dorms with the children (teachers are accommodated in single rooms adjacent to dorms) and do not think it is "safe" for children aged 10 or 11 to be sleeping in groups. They have asked if it would be possible for a parent to drop this child at the centre at 8am and collect at 9pm each night they are away (so 4 hours travelling per day) and the school have said no - it's against the ethos of the trip and they have to take it all, or not at all.

Mother concerned voicing her objections loudly in the playground and a fair few people agreeing that school was unreasonable and she should be able to choose the bits of the trip her son wants to do.

ConfuciousSayWhat Mon 06-Jun-16 15:46:25

She's a knob. Sorry but she is. Year 6 residentials have been happening for decades in the manner that your school operates without issue.

OddBoots Mon 06-Jun-16 15:47:56

Unless there is a good medical or disability reason for it I would have thought that a child dipping in and out of it would be very unsettling for some of the other children (others would probably just be rather bemused at their classmate).

araiba Mon 06-Jun-16 15:49:12

find a random homeless guy from the streets and give him free bed for the week

her son can sleep in the same room as homeless guy

done and done

LunaLoveg00d Mon 06-Jun-16 15:50:24

her son can sleep in the same room as homeless guy

Great solution! I would have loved to have seen the teacher's face when she suggested a teacher bed in with a group of 11 year old boys, there's nothing I'd enjoy less!!!

LunaLoveg00d Mon 06-Jun-16 15:51:50

TBH I feel very sorry for her boy as this residential is something the kids look forward to for years and talk about at length afterwards. He's going to miss the giggling after nights out and scaring each other with spooky stories because his Mum is over-protective.

LunaLoveg00d Mon 06-Jun-16 15:52:20

LIGHTS out, not nights out. I'm assuming they won't be taking them to the pub.

SenoritaViva Mon 06-Jun-16 15:54:20

I work in a school, we would say no to this on medical grounds as it would be unsettling for other children. E.g. If some children felt homesick it wouldn't help at all, so it's for the benefit of all the other children.

araiba Mon 06-Jun-16 15:54:57

does this mum want her son to be bullied?

haha joshuahas to go home every night because he cries that he misses his mum and he wets the bed. thats what will happen

whois Mon 06-Jun-16 15:57:03

haha joshuahas to go home every night because he cries that he misses his mum and he wets the bed.

Quite. Mum needs to chillax and eihter get 100% behind or not participate.

EatShitDerek Mon 06-Jun-16 15:57:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Witchend Mon 06-Jun-16 15:59:45

Poor child.

Hurryhurryhurry Mon 06-Jun-16 16:00:25

I work in an outdoor residential centre and agree with the school. The kids get so much more out of the independence of having to look after themselves and being organised than they ever do out of the activities themselves.
She is a nob

namechangeparents Mon 06-Jun-16 16:04:53

I don't think she's a nob and I don't think name-calling helps. but she is wrong.

However, if there are good reasons, the school should accommodate. But it doesn't sound like there are good reasons here beyond an overprotective mum.

bombayflambe Mon 06-Jun-16 16:05:11

It would be a safeguarding nightmare to have adults in with the children.

We take 7/8 year old Brownies camping in tents and they manage it without an adult up in the tent with them. Apart from the adults sharing rooms with children what are her loudly voiced concerns? It doesn't seem sensible.

LadyPenelope68 Mon 06-Jun-16 16:08:06

She's being totally unreasonable, I totally agree with the School - you either go for all of it or none of it.

I teach Year 6, have been on many residentials and the children in dorm with staff right next door is totally normal and standard in all residentials. No teacher should have to share a room with the children.

What does she think happens at Boarding Schools? As staff certainly don't sleep in dorms with the kids! Why on earth doesn't she think it's safe?

chaplin1409 Mon 06-Jun-16 16:08:19

In my children's school they go away from year 3 and there has never been a problem.

WreckingBallsInsideMyHead Mon 06-Jun-16 16:09:50

That mum is way over protective unless medical reasons (but then I hope school would've been more accommodating)

Like previous poster, I take Brownies away regularly who are as young as 7 and adults are in a different room. It's bad practice for children and adults to share anyway. The kids are shown where to find the adults if they need them in the night.

Shame for the child to miss out but I agree with the school

MigGril Mon 06-Jun-16 16:12:47

I don't get these over protective parents. DD age 8 already does 2 nights away with cubs. What would she think of them sleeping in their own tent, if she doesn't want them sleeping in their own dorm room.

They get so much out of it to, Sometimes I wish I was going to but that would kind of defeat the object.

rookiemere Mon 06-Jun-16 16:15:30

What a shame for the boy. I assume it's only the year class that are going to be in the dorms - it's not open to the public or anything? What on earth does she think is going to happen?
Perhaps he has a medical problem, I know a few DCs of that age that still bed wet and this is to cover for it.

TheNotoriousPMT Mon 06-Jun-16 16:15:33

She thinks teachers and students should share rooms? This is a new one on me.

Agree with the school - this sort of thing is about giving kids a chance to learn to organise themselves and look after themselves and be a little bit independent. Not very independent - they'll be surrounded by peers and trained staff will be at least in the next room at all times, so it's not exactly risky, but it really does build their confidence when they complete the trip. I feel sorry for kids whose parents deny them such a safe opportunity to learn to look after themselves. I see those kids further up the school when they're 16, 17, 18 and don't know how to make their own bed, their own coffee or pack their own bags. (Am not exaggerating) They get pretty jealous of their more independent friends.

I also think it's a shame that kids new to the school don't go. It's probably the best chance they'll get to get to know some new friends.

Rhythmsticks Mon 06-Jun-16 16:17:46

The whole poin of the yr 6 residential is for children to learn how to cope without their parents. Ours are not even allowed a phone call or to take their mobile phones. So this mother would ruin the whole point of the trip. She sounds stifiling-someone should take her aside snd explain the benefits for her child.

LongHardStare Mon 06-Jun-16 16:18:16

People are being a bit harsh on the mum who I'm sure is motivated by concern for her DC. There may be backstory - perhaps the child has been bullied and so worried about what would happen without teachers present. Or maybe they do wet the bed and are very anxious about it. If they've never had a night away from home, the residential may seem more like something to worry about than be looking forward to. Everyone is assuming that all the kids have a wonderful time but kids can be mean and this sort of trip isn't going to be enjoyed by all.

PinkFluffiUnicorn Mon 06-Jun-16 16:19:37

My ds 12 went on a residential trip like this last September, 4 boys sharing a room, 30 odd kids went, 3 staff in there own rooms further away, he kids had activities from 9- 9, all shattered and small amount of shananagens went on, they were only in rooms to sleep, my dd 11is all signed up for next year, they bond as a class it makes for a good p7 year before high school

LunaLoveg00d Mon 06-Jun-16 16:20:29

It's only the year class that are going to be in the dorms - it's not open to the public or anything?

No, the centre is a large house and the only people using it at the time will be my son's school. It's in a very rural location.

I have always encouraged my kids to spend time away from home whenever it's offered - whether day trips with Beavers, weekends camping with Scouts or sleepovers at friends houses. It's really important to us that they grow up independent and self-sufficient.

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