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Wibu? How would you have dealt with this minor situation 9 yr old ds?

(27 Posts)
Kittyrobin Mon 06-Jun-16 07:47:21

Dc have got into the habit of getting themselves a bowl of cereal for breakfast and eating it on the sofa watching tv. Toddler dc sleeps badly so I like to "lie in" until 6.30-7. Dc wake up 6am.

This morning I was up so decided to do a cooked breakfast. When it was ready I told all dc to come and sit at the table to eat. Ds9 said he wanted to watch his programme and eat it on the sofa.

I told him he couldn't, he had to eat at the table with us and he could pause his programme. He got the hump and said he didn't want his breakfast then.

I said he had to come and eat and pause his programme or he could sit on the sofa and not eat and I would turn his programme off until we had finished.

He came and ate, had a lovely breakfast and cheered up. Told me he really liked his breakfast and all was good, however I wonder if my ultimatum was "normal parenting or a bit manipulative?

I know it's not a big deal but I'm questioning my parenting skills. I'd like to know what others would have done in that situation.

Onlyicanclean10 Mon 06-Jun-16 07:50:30

Would have done what you did.

What's manipulative in telling your child how things are going to be.

I don't negotiate over stuff like this I run a totalitarian state over such matters. grin

Gizlotsmum Mon 06-Jun-16 07:51:28

I do that all the time! You gave him two options..

GreatFuckability Mon 06-Jun-16 07:52:35

Its exactly what I would do. So if you are manipulative, so am I. grin

nonladyofleisure Mon 06-Jun-16 07:53:17

Sounds like good parenting to me X

Pico2 Mon 06-Jun-16 07:56:10

I think that lots of parents use a briefs and threats approach to parenting. I know I do. grin

ineedamoreadultieradult Mon 06-Jun-16 07:56:40

I have a 9 year old DS and I would not have cooked him a breakfast without asking first if he wanted it. If he said yes then he would be expected to come to the table and eat it with everyone else and a similar ultimatum given if he refused. If he said no I would leave him to do his own cereal in front of the TV as usual. Don't think it's manipulative if you don't want to follow the rules i. e cooked breakfast at the table then you can go without but I do think choices should be given rather than just changing his morning routine without his agreement. Although in my house we are not morning people and people acting out of character in the morning such as cooking breakfast when they don't normally causes grumpiness and confusion so I might not be the best person to reply.

bigTillyMint Mon 06-Jun-16 07:57:22

You were not being manipulative, you were parenting!

Looking at it, you could say he was being manipulative (FWIW I don't think he was - just being a normal child wanting to watch his TV programme and stick to his routine), trying to get his own way.

With the joys of modern technology and the ability to pause programmes, it was a win-win situation with all happy.

TheCrumpettyTree Mon 06-Jun-16 08:01:10

I do this all the time.

lavenderdoilly Mon 06-Jun-16 08:01:48

I think I would have checked whether a cooked breakfast was what people wanted. Nice of you to do it though.

clam Mon 06-Jun-16 08:06:41

Parenting= benevolent dictatorship.
Of course you did the right thing.

BillyBlueCack Mon 06-Jun-16 08:06:49

I've had the exact conversation a few times with my DS, who is also 9. He gets over it very quickly, like your DS did.

I don't mind sandwiches on the sofa, but cooked food, food that can spill (no cereal on the sofa!) and such like have to be had at the table.

Kittyrobin Mon 06-Jun-16 08:07:03

Thank you, it makes me happy to know I acted appropriately. I did check he wanted the breakfast first, he was really keen on the idea.

AugustaFinkNottle Mon 06-Jun-16 08:08:01

I think if you were going to change the morning routine you should at least have given some warning and an element of choice. But I like my routine in the mornings and to do my own thing at my own pace, and get quite grumpy if it's changed!

Ilovewillow Mon 06-Jun-16 08:11:08

I would have checked this was what he wanted for breakfast but other than that I agree with you completely!

AnonymousBird Mon 06-Jun-16 08:29:32

Totally appropriate.

MirriVan Mon 06-Jun-16 08:54:49

This is the type of thing that would have really upset me as a kid.
Yours seemed to handle it well though - so no harm done.

Pico2 Mon 06-Jun-16 09:00:42

Bribes, not briefs.

CuntingDMjournos Mon 06-Jun-16 09:10:17

I'm assuming this morning was a school day and they've been having cereal in front of the telly over Half term? My kids know the school vs holiday routine is different, they also accept it on a weekend if I say no you need you turn that off now and do X Y and Z because we have to go out etc.

Junosmum Mon 06-Jun-16 09:15:04

I'd have done what you did.

halighhalighaliehaligh Mon 06-Jun-16 09:20:11

I wouldn't have told him he had to eat but I would have told him he had to turn the TV off and sit at the table with everyone else.

clam Mon 06-Jun-16 20:21:51

When did we become so scared of parenting our children properly?

IWantToBeCalledAwesome Mon 06-Jun-16 20:25:22

I would have done exactly what you did. To be honest the parents who just cave and let the kids do whatever they want all the time are the ones who usually run into more problems later on.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 06-Jun-16 20:28:22

Exactly what I would've done.

deVelvet Mon 06-Jun-16 20:34:44

Ha. You can see the AIBU from his side

Ive been sorting out my own breakfasts for god knows how long, and ive enjoyed my cereal whilst sitting watching TV on the couch. AIBU to be pissed off that my mum made me sit at the table on the one day she decides to get up at the same time as us and make breakfast? Pfft, she thinks she rules the place


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