Friend of a good twenty years standing, lived together at college, godparents to each other's children etc. I moved away and settled here with DH and the kids, she stayed put. I'm thinking if letting things drift because she is such a flake. It makes me so sad. She's visited here twice, each time it's started as "I'll come and give you a hand." First time I'd just had twins and also had two older ones, and was glad of the help, but then at the last minute she decided she couldn't face the drive alone, and brought her husband and her own two kids. They are all delightful but I was in absolutely no shape for hosting a family visit! Her husband got the picture very quickly and they retreated home but it left me feeling like I had let them down somehow whereas actually she had changed what was arranged.
The second time was for a family party of ours. The invitations included lists of hotels and b&bs, we are very well catered for as there are several tourist attractions nearby. They booked one 10 miles away, got there by train and DH had to go and pick them up. I don't know why they didn't pick a local one, but they said this was £20 cheaper, which they then spent getting a taxi back!
Anyway since then there have been several meet ups planned. My childcare arrangements are complex, I need notice to get out. She's given me dates twice and cancelled twice in the last year, both times I had booked childcare.
The final straw has been yet another planned meet up, but then as usual she tries to change the plan. So what started as her getting the train to the big city nearby, my meeting her and bringing her home here, was changed by a) a week, so out if half term meaning I'm restricted by the school run whereas at half term I can book KidsClub and
B) she wants to drive down with her husband and kids, who are now young teens, and they'll go for a walk whilst she comes to see me. Oh and they'll call and see some relatives who live nearby. (For nearby, read 90 mins drive.)
I can't decide if she just has no idea of geography, or time/distance, or is a massive flake.
WWYD?
AIBU?
to let this friendship drift
Hotpointdishwasher · 05/06/2016 23:22
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Does she have any health issues or mental health difficulties that make it hard?
My best friend dropped me after 20 years - she probably would have used the word "flaky" about me.
But I have CFS & Fibromyalgia. She will never know the effort that went into me even meeting arrangements half way.
She will also never know how much I miss her or how much my children miss her. Because we too were bridesmaids , and god mothers for each other's children.
Sometimes at night I dream we are still friends - and then I wake up and realise we aren't even in contact anymore 
.
Nomudnolotus that's so very sad! Does she know you are unwell? Surely you could patch it up?
No she has no health issues that I know of, and i have every confidence she would have told me.
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