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To think that 16 month old needs direct supervision by the pool?

(147 Posts)
cluelessnewmum Sun 05-Jun-16 16:53:08

Currently on holiday with DH and 16 month old DS, this is the first holiday we've been on when DS is walking.

DH has a different parenting style to me, alot more laid back. He thinks that it is OK to let DS play by the pool (ie right next to it, well within falling in distance) whilst he is about a metre away on a sun lounger, where as I think that if he is going to be that near the pool he needs someone right next to him.

I should say that DS has been taken to swimming lessons from a very young age so does seem to understand that the pool is water and he shouldn't go in, he seems to have good safety awareness, but in my opinion anyone could still slip and fall, he could drop a toy in there and reach too far to get it etc.

DH has just got annoyed with me for saying that we need to take it in turns supervising him when he plays by the pool.

WIBU? How does everyone else manage the taking it in turns thing supervising their young ones on holiday? I'd like to leave DH to it when he is looking after him and I don't want to micromanage which is why I ask the question...

EveryoneElsie Sun 05-Jun-16 16:57:59

YANBU. Can he swim if he falls in unexpectedly, or would he take a big gasp of air as he falls?

LottieDoubtie Sun 05-Jun-16 16:59:02

I'm a bit confused by your post.

Obviously I agree that your DS needs supervising and someone should be responsible for him at all times near the pool.

I'm not sure if touching distance is nec. Required- if your DH is proposing sitting up on a sun lounger 1 metre from DS and looking at him all the time (so not reading/sleeping) then that seems reasonable to me.

WyfOfBathe Sun 05-Jun-16 16:59:22

Yanbu, DS definitely needs close supervision. Although I would probably say that sitting 1m away is fine, so long as DH is completely concentrating on what DS is doing, and not checking his phone/reading a book.

dementedpixie Sun 05-Jun-16 17:00:04

Does your ds have any sort of life vest/flotation device on that could help if he fell in? It could be OK if your dh was on the lounger and watching closely but if he is reading and not playing attention then he is unreasonable

MrsSpecter Sun 05-Jun-16 17:00:18

A metre away? Thats tiny. Yabu. Unless DH is lying down for a snooze of course?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sun 05-Jun-16 17:01:03

YNBU. A baby can drown in 1 inch of water.
You never get a second chance. Also I'm sorry but no 16 month old baby knows any sense of danger.

Fluffy40 Sun 05-Jun-16 17:01:42

at that age, constant supervision is necessary.

KeepSmiling83 Sun 05-Jun-16 17:02:10

YANBU. We are on holiday at the moment and are staying in a villa with its own pool. DD1 is almost 5 and I won't let her outside without an adult in case she slips and falls in. She has swimming lessons but can't swim confidently yet and I just don't think it's worth the risk. DD2 is 14 months and I am right next to her if she is anywhere near the water. It would only take a second for her to fall in so if I was lying on a sun lounger a few metres away I wouldn't be able to get her out before she went under. Again not worth it in my opinion!

AtSea1979 Sun 05-Jun-16 17:03:31

1 metre away is supervising. If a toy falls in then you can intervene but to be that close to him is unnecessary. Your DS won't learn if there aren't risks.

MadamDeathstare Sun 05-Jun-16 17:03:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsSpecter Sun 05-Jun-16 17:04:25

I consider 1m away as direct supervision. confused

soundsystem Sun 05-Jun-16 17:04:47

My DD is slightly older (19 months) and I'm with you. If she's pottering at the edge of the pool I'll sit on the edge with my legs in the water so I'm next to her. Although to be fair, she does gets that she shouldn't just jump in, and she hasn't fallen in yet, but she easily could. I'm fairly confident that if she fell in she would turn round and hold on the side but not about to test the theory!

branofthemist Sun 05-Jun-16 17:05:43

I would say 1 meter is fine as long as he isn't sleeping or something and always has ds is view.

MrsSpecter Sun 05-Jun-16 17:05:54

Drowing is a quiet death. If your DS falls in your DH is not going to hear anything after the initial splash.

He is 1m away. He will hear the initial splash.

MrsSpecter Sun 05-Jun-16 17:07:04

I wonder if people have misread the OP.

AppleAndBlackberry Sun 05-Jun-16 17:11:31

A metre away is fine IMO. You'd get to him in less than a second if he went near the edge. Several metres or the other side of the pool, not OK. FWIW my second child at 2 launched herself into a pool that we were just about to get in together, but I was right behind her so I just fished her straight out and she was fine, if a bit shocked. Small children don't tend to inhale water instantly.

MadamDeathstare Sun 05-Jun-16 17:12:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

branofthemist Sun 05-Jun-16 17:14:49

I would imagine that if the Op thinks 1 metre is too far, I am sure she would have mentioned he has a habit of sleeping while supervising too

annandale Sun 05-Jun-16 17:17:07

Assuming awake and really attending/interacting, 1m sounds fine.

leelu66 Sun 05-Jun-16 17:18:47

YANBU. I would give DH examples of toddlers drowning so he understands the dangers.

DeathStare Sun 05-Jun-16 17:19:02

1 metre away is fine. In fact it is very close supervision. How much closer do you think he should be?

cluelessnewmum Sun 05-Jun-16 17:20:13

Thanks all! Just to clarify a few things, DH is watching DS not reading / snoozing but is not within grabbing distance, ie if he fell in he'd go in but obviously DH could fish him out immediately.

The swimming lessons give DS water confidence but he can't actually really swim, and no he doesn't gave a flotation aid on.

I'm not worried about DS drowning as such as DH is watching him but I'm worried that if he did fall in he'd fall awkwardly and hit his head ir something and the shock would upset him. Tbh km also worried what other people would think, ie we'd be known as the family who let their toddler Dall in the pool! Thanks again for replies.

MrsSpecter Sun 05-Jun-16 17:20:22

I would give DH examples of toddlers drowning so he understands the dangers.


Its 1 METRE! How long do you think it will take to get to the child from 1 metre away?

MrsSpecter Sun 05-Jun-16 17:22:35

I light of further info i still say YABU. Buy DS a float vest and let that be it. DH is doing all that he needs to.

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