I feel like worst mother ever!

(14 Posts)
Shaus25 Sun 05-Jun-16 09:23:58

My little man has being unwell since Monday with a tummy bug but is now okay. Last night he woke at 3:30 crying with what I thought was his teeth. He was crying and when I tried to give him some teething gel he arches his back and gets angry and crys even more. I know it's because his gums are hurting him but eventually I just snapped and shouted really loud at him and put him down and walked out. I feel so guilty and upset. My poor baby was just in pain and needed me and I shouted at him 😔 He knew I was cross because he stopped straight away and was just sobbing then. I feel like the worst mother in the world. I love him so much and to think I get so angry at him sometimes scares me. Am I a bad mother?😔

EatShitDerek Sun 05-Jun-16 09:25:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sun 05-Jun-16 09:25:32

No of course you aren't, I think the majority of parents have been there! Parenting is relentless and exhausting.

Today is a new day, don't be hard on yourself, just give him some extra snuggles.

Hassled Sun 05-Jun-16 09:28:57

Blimey - we've all done it. Tiredness does strange bad things to a person. Hope he gets better soon.

If this wasn't a one off and you are a bit worried about levels of shoutiness - a top tip I learnt on MN years ago was the "imagine there's a film crew in the room making a documentary about you" trick. It makes you more conscious of how you're behaving - works really well.

Kariana Sun 05-Jun-16 09:38:43

Don't feel guilty. The only thing is did you go back and put the gel on once he'd stopped with the back arching? I think if you as a parent know that will give relief sometimes a bit of a shout to get them to accept the help comes under the heading of 'you have to be cruel to be kind'. Why let the pain drag on and on? I've seen so many primary age children hysterical when they hurt themselves to the point where I've had to be very stern and in some cases a bit shouty to get them to snap out of it because the parents have never encouraged them to show any self control. Obviously it sounds like he might be too young to be learning that just yet but it is something to keep in mind. Please don't beat yourself up!

Medusacascade Sun 05-Jun-16 09:41:41

When my ds was two weeks old I screamed shut up at him. He had colic and screamed and cried from 6pm until about 5am every day for three months. He slept four hours in 24 every day. I was single and had no one else to help. He was in his cot safely, I screamed walked out Instantly felt calm and ready to deal with the situation. They were hard hard hard days. I never did it again and I still feel guilty nearly ten years later. You're not a bad mother.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Sun 05-Jun-16 09:49:22

You did the right thing by putting him down and walking away for a while to regain your cool. You will make mistakes and feel overwhelmed at times, it's completely normal. You didn't do anything to harm your baby so stop being overly critical of yourself.

I don't think teething gels were ever that effective. Mine always just spat it out, it never stayed on their gums! Fluid filled teething rings from the fridge helped, if he's old enough- frozen carrot sticks to chew on or some calpol at night?

Hope you have a better day today smile

coco1810 Sun 05-Jun-16 10:08:19

Wait until he's a teenager, shouting becomes an everyday occurrence in most households. Honestly, you are not a bad mom. Teething is hard on the little one and on us moms too. flowers for you x

coco1810 Sun 05-Jun-16 10:09:05

Have you tried Ashton Parsons teething powders?

Wdigin2this Sun 05-Jun-16 10:09:52

Gawd no, we all do it at some point!

wiccamum Sun 05-Jun-16 10:14:23

Been there, hated myself afterwards. I now have a well-balanced, if occasionally stroppy DD aged 9, no mental scarring on either part!

You did the right thing to walk away. Deep breath and start a new day, just don't torture yourself. You sound like a totally normal, tired parent 💐🍰

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sun 05-Jun-16 10:24:31

I use anbesol liquid for my DD, it soaks straight I'm so doesn't come back out and seems to numb her gums for ages!

BoopTheSnoot Sun 05-Jun-16 11:07:31

Don't beat yourself up. When DS1 was tiny, he had comic and would scream for five hours solid, every single night, no matter what I did. This went on for months.
I remember one particularly bad night, while walking round the dining room table rocking him and trying to soothe him, I just got upset. And called him a little fucking bastard blush
At that point I knew I needed a breather, so put him in his crib and took two minutes in the garden. He's now a very happy 23 month old and we have a lovely relationship. I still feel guilty, but I was knackered and he doesn't remember.
As mothers, we've all done things we're not proud of. We're all only human. As long as you know when you need to walk away to cool off, and you know you'd never hurt your child, you're doing ok.

BoopTheSnoot Sun 05-Jun-16 11:07:53

*colic, not comic!

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