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wedding rings

(19 Posts)
DDof2 Sat 04-Jun-16 11:50:53

I'm being made redundant in 3 weeks and have no job to go to. We are getting married in August and so doing it on a low budget. We have lived together for 7 years and have 2 fantastic boys.
The wife to be loves her Asian gold and has a fair amount, she also has white gold and diamond earrings and necklace.
A problem has arisen!
As we never got engaged we agreed the diamond engagement ring plus wedding bands.
The good lady wants white gold but I threw the spanner stating its plated and with 2 rings will wear. Now my lady is quite particular about certain things and wear showing would drive her nuts.
I discovered palladium no wear issues looks like white gold as its still part of platinum family actually rarer than platinum but half the price!
Last night we ordered palladium rings.
I have agreed a platinum solitaire once the redundancy money comes through in July and offered to upgrade to a platinum band later.
Today though I have full on cold shoulder.
Am I being unreasonable?

Teresalosingtheirleaves Sat 04-Jun-16 11:54:08

Yabu to live by your needs and upgrade as and when you can afford it.
Traditionally an engagement ring would cost about 1 months wages, if you are not working then the cost of the engagement ring surely will cost ..... £0.
I understand the principle of only buying the ring once blah blah but I think living by ones means trumps that.

Teresalosingtheirleaves Sat 04-Jun-16 11:54:58

Sorry not , not being being unreasonable ! Congrats btw

sandrabedminster Sat 04-Jun-16 11:57:14

You have no job and your spending redundancy money on useless lumps of metal. I think you need to think about priorities.

Paulat2112 Sat 04-Jun-16 12:00:54

Of course YANBU. I have a platinum coated set from QVC that was about £35. DH wears a titanium ring that was £12. Suited our budget smile

MrPony Sat 04-Jun-16 12:03:44

Yanbu. If she has lots of rings already can she not just use one of them? It would save you a fortune

AuntieStella Sat 04-Jun-16 12:04:02

I think you probably need to sit down together and work through the budget more carefully.

If the lump sum is due in July and the wedding is in August, as it's June already then you essentially have a non-problem. You can stil, get the more expensive rings.

But, unless recruitment is buoyant for your line of work, or you can live on just her salary, then a rethink of finances and current priorities must surely be a good thing.

witsender Sat 04-Jun-16 12:04:03

Of course YANBU. In fact, I wouldn't use redundancy money to buy a new one, I would wait until you have a job etc. My husband's wedding ring is titanium and cost about £30.

CharlieSierra Sat 04-Jun-16 12:05:46

I'm not sure what the concern is? Palladium looks and wears like platinum, it is a far better option than white gold. My palladium wedding ring is indistinguishable from the platinum band on my engagement ring after 5 years of wear.

TheNaze73 Sat 04-Jun-16 12:05:53


RaeSkywalker Sat 04-Jun-16 12:07:19

My DH has a titanium wedding ring, it's great. Stick to what you can afford!

Gazelda Sat 04-Jun-16 12:07:32

YANBU. And once your wife-to-be has thought sensibly about it, she'll hopefully see your sense.
But honestly, I'd wait until I'd got another job before frittering your redundancy payout on jewellery. Diamonds won't feed the children or pay the mortgage.

user1465035246 Sat 04-Jun-16 12:10:43

Yanbu. My engagement ring is palladium as I was warned about the costs of replating white gold. My wedding band is palladium too, cost us nothing as my husband made it at work with scraps!

Your lovely lady might want to consider using jewelry she already has to melt, refashion or sell in order to achieve perfect wedding bands. I would not be spending redundancy money to replace it.

Flumpsnlumpsnstuff Sat 04-Jun-16 12:10:45

My rings were stolen a few years ago and I chose a replacement in silver as it was just a pretty and much cheaper, it's a symbol not the be all and end all ! Also beware of palladium as my first choice was made of this until they said it can't get wet ! Not sure if this was true but certainly put husband off
Hands that do dishes don't wear palladium grin

Diamogs Sat 04-Jun-16 12:11:00

She is giving you the cold shoulder because you are not wasting money on a more expensive ring because you have no job???


Floppityflop Sat 04-Jun-16 12:11:48

You can get white gold replated. Is it too late to send what you've ordered back?

Teresalosingtheirleaves Sat 04-Jun-16 12:21:00

Don't get jewellery plated with white gold, it will wear off . My dh ring is now yellow gold as all white gold was gone within first 5 years. Platinum is overrated, mine looks dull and I think it's just a psychological viewpoint of it being more expensive and wanting "the best". I didn't choose mine so I'm exempt! grin

StillRabbit Sat 04-Jun-16 12:28:44

YANBU. My wedding ring was dirt cheap as DH was out of work but it was still the most precious thing I ever owned. It had sharp edges and occasionally cut my finger so when my engagement ring was damaged we the gold from both rings combined to make a new ring but still "my original" ring IYSWIM. Monetary value of my ring is less than a meal out but to me it is priceless.

timeforheroes Sat 04-Jun-16 13:42:57

You are definitely not BU, you do what you need to do in the circumstances. It's the meaning of the ring rather than what it is made of.

DH and I didn't realise you had to order wedding bands in, just thought you went in to the shop and got them. Tried this a week before are wedding and pretty much got laughed at by the jeweller. We went to Warren James and got some cheap rings for the vows. We still have them (admittedly I don't wear mine as my engagement ring is unusual and it doesn't fit, and DH doesn't wear his on a day to day basis because of work) and haven't actually got around to upgrading them. Always seems better things to spend the money on! grin

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