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AIBU to u subscribe from my siblings' photo streams?

(18 Posts)
Karenthetoadwhisperer Sat 04-Jun-16 08:37:06

I think it's great that we all subscribe to each other's photo streams, in particular as we all live in different countries and it is a a nice way to keep in touch for the children as well as for my parents. So basically having all these photo streams to exchange pictures and comments is something that I really liked initially.

However, It is also some sort of competition about who has the best house, can afford the most expensive holidays, activities, cars etc

I am all for posting pictures of the kids doing activities, Christmas, birthdays, family celebrations, school achievements etc

But all these photos showing off new cars, expensive holidays, kids dressed up in designer clothes on holiday in an expensive location, it's all about who can afford the most and who is a super achiever and who isn't - which is clearly me.

I am a single mum living abroad. I work very hard to provide for my children and I am actually doing ok without any help from anybody. But there is no way I can afford the life style the rest of my family enjoys. I don't begrudge them this, but I am fed up that my children are getting these pictures non-stop (at least twice daily which is just too much) with updates what their rich cousins and grandparents are up to, such as flying in private planes, going whale watching, snow boarding in California, you name it.

It makes me feel so inferior.

I almost unsubscribed to the lot of them last night, but they would be massively offended and not talk to me anymore.

AIBU to be fed up with this?

Karenthetoadwhisperer Sat 04-Jun-16 08:38:04

*unsubscribe, sorry for typo .

Tricerasaurus Sat 04-Jun-16 08:41:54

You aren't being unreasonable to want to unsubscribe or to find it hard. However I wouldn't assume their motivation is to show off;if that's their lifestyle then that their lifestyle and they are documenting it. If I got a new car, designer dress or saw a whale if photograph it, my motivation would be documenting my life not showing off. If you see all their photos then that's the problem, can't you all share selected highlights once a month?

sepa Sat 04-Jun-16 08:42:40

Is there a way you can do it without them knowing? Sort of like the unfollow setting Facebook has

Toomuch2young Sat 04-Jun-16 08:47:02

I would and be honest they are your siblings! Or if you can't just say you are having a break from living through screens wink

Karenthetoadwhisperer Sat 04-Jun-16 08:50:39

True - this is their life style and it is just one of my sisters who deliberately shows off and she is posting non- stop, even when she is just at home. All her photos could be out of a mini Boden catalogue IYSWIM.

When my parents come to visit, for example, they just don't think. They spend money as they go along and are totally oblivious that I just cannot afford all these lunches, coffees, driving places, just picking up clothes because they would look nice - I almost had an argument with my mum when she thought I should buy an outfit that she thought would suit Mr (as opposed to what I was wearing) and she is oblivious that I cannot just spend like that.

YANBU to not want to see it. I doubt they are tryinh to show off but it must feel like it.

Rather than unfollow and cause upset, is their a way you can manage you settings etc so that you only see them when you choose to look rather than be notified all the time? Perhaps you could just have it loaded on one device that the children can use when they want to look?

Your children might actually enjoy keeping up with their family so stopping altogether might be a bit harsh.

Karenthetoadwhisperer Sat 04-Jun-16 08:54:00

The DCs are subscribed too. They would not want to unsubscribe, but it makes them feel inferior.

Karenthetoadwhisperer Sat 04-Jun-16 08:57:56

x-posted. giantpurplepeopleeater the DCs don't see our family much and of course they want to keep in touch. I don't want to cut them off, but it's not nice for them, they naturally compare and their cousins send them messages with the latest gadgets and comments 'I got the new iPhone for Christmas and what have you got'.

Toomuch2young Sat 04-Jun-16 13:57:54

I also think it would be a good time to show your DC that the material stuff really doesn't matter and how much fun you can have and be happy without it. Surely a happier childhood than just getting new 'stuff'.

Karenthetoadwhisperer Sat 04-Jun-16 15:09:42

That's a great theory and this is what I have been teaching them now for a while - with success, but they are still children.

SisterMoonshine Sat 04-Jun-16 15:30:08

It's part of the reason I've chosen not to do facebook.

Karenthetoadwhisperer Sat 04-Jun-16 23:24:01

We're not on Facebook either! smile (Not that I am aware)

TwoLeftSocks Sat 04-Jun-16 23:50:40

Can you, quite deliberately, go out and do stuff that costs nothing but can be loads of fun and post pics of that, like action shots doing headstands, climbing trees, silly face competitions, etc? And remind your kids that they make their own memories, they can't always buy them (though I'd love the money to go whale watching!)

TwoLeftSocks Sat 04-Jun-16 23:54:53

Jackson Pollock style painting in old clothes (and possibly outdoors) would be a good opposite to showing off designer gear and is great fun, as is stone -age hand printing.

Mooseville Sun 05-Jun-16 00:00:20

Don't unsubscribe, but there's no reason you need to look every day. I subscribe to a few friends with kids (I have none myself) and although they update everyday, I just watch maybe once a week with a quick comment to say how lovely everyone seems to be getting along. I love to see it all, but there's no reason to look everyday esp as we live away from each other!? I assume you post your pics too, to me I look for happy photos not the cost of what they're doing! Just enjoy their pics as a pastime rather than a daily competition?

Cornishclio Sun 05-Jun-16 08:41:08

If it makes you feel bad then don't check it and the same goes for your DC. Is it a what's app conversation? We have one for our family to share photos, videos etc but then all our lifestyles are similar so it is more to see the children as they grow up in different parts of the country. Hopefully your sister does not put these up to show off and why doesn't your mum treat you to a new outfit if she knows money is tight? I would with my daughters.

Karenthetoadwhisperer Sun 05-Jun-16 11:21:25

We are all on icloud photo streams and everybody has their own photo stream that everybody else is subscribed to. So we are looking at 5 photo streams and new photos just appear on my phone like text messages - I have muted them, but cannot ignore.

I cannot even suggest to limit to posting maybe once a week, because this would upset especially my sister who is just sending photos non-stop.

I am sending photos of artwork,that the children do, school achievements, walks, camping holidays, funny stuff, and if we are on holiday I usually post a few photos at the end.

Those of you who suggest that this is simply their life style are correct. I know from my mum though that she also feels it's a competition and my parents try and support everyone, apparently, but I do know - and my DCs feel the same - that they completely favour my sister and her spoilt offspring, because that's all they talk about when they come and visit us. I am aware that I sound bitter and I am. Not because of the money, but because of the fact that they favour her for the reason that her husband is wealthy and they look down on me, because I am a single mum.

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