To want to scream because my GP's are ignorant and dismissive bastards!(30 Posts)
To avoid any dripfeed:
Ds is seven weeks old. I've been diagnosed with PND which I feel is why I'm being ignored re: ds's health.
A week and a half ago I noticed ds was getting a third lump appear and disappear in his scrotum. Obviously knew it was normal so made an appointment.
The lump was gone when we first got there. The first gp I saw made me feel like I was imagining things. She just kept saying 'well there's nothing there' and didn't explain to me what it could be.
The lump kept appearing and disappearing and I wasn't happy but luckily had his six week check booked a few days later so brought it up with that (different) GP. I even took photos of the big and extremely noticeable lump to show her as it had disappeared again when I got to GP's.
She insisted it was his testicle. I insisted it wasn't as I had checked and they were both present near the bottom and this lump kept appearing high above them. Even though I was in tears telling her it WASNT his testicle and please could she just give us an idea of what it could be she completely dismissed me and asked if it was my anxiety .
I sat at home watching this lump pop up and down. So I videoed it, clearly showing where the two testicles were and that this lump was most definitely not one.
Asked for a third different doctor at the surgery and showed him the pictures and video. Luckily the lump showed up while he was examining him!
He said it could be a hydrocele and that it was nothing to worry about.
Until he called us back after the appointment yesterday and said he'd done some looking up and it might be a 'communicating hydrocele' which could lead to a hernia and to keep an eye on him because if the rare chance it could cause problems. He asked if the lump was any firmer, it was. He says if ds gets distressed make another appointment.
AIBU to think it's a good job I didn't stop pestering them and that if they hadn't been so dismissive in the first place I could have had a week and a half of not shitting myself or feeling crazy!
YANBU. GPs should always take concerns seriously.
However this story has a happy ending. It was something. You were right. But it was nothing serious.
So be thankful for that. And go back to getting through this hard phase of your life.
You did the right thing! I think hcp can be very dismissive. Especially to new mums, and that's wrong.
Congratulations on baby and I hope you and he are feeling better.
You did the right thing, in fairness I think it is very hard for GPs when they can't see the symptoms themselves, but I did hate the "so is this your first child" mmm-hmmm reaction. Sometimes you have to keep pushing, which is annoying.
Keep on trusting yourself and advocating for your ds. That's your job for 18urs now, and it's sometimes thankless, sometimes you come across obstacles and disbelieving professionals, and you just have to keep on.
Give yourself a pat on the back for making such a good start, keep on believing in yourself and trusting that you know your ds best.
Try not to hold on to anger about not being believed to start with and concentrate on how well you responded- gathering evidence, presenting it again and again until you got an answer.
OP, it was sorted out within a week and a half. It isn't serious. I think your PND is making you get this a little bit out of perspective. Next time, they will probably listen to you a little better if they bother to read the notes.
Congratulations on your baby and I hope you feel very much better very soon.
I went to see my gp when my DS was a baby I felt like was anaemic I was BFing and not eating properly, no my doctor was convinced I was depressed and wanted to give me antidepressants. He was a brand new doctor and he'd never even seen me before. I told him no thanks and bought some iron tablets and felt fine
This makes me mad! I had similar with my first, I had maternal OCD/anxiety and I was struggling with rashes after my DS had twice been sent to A and E by GPs with a non blanching rash for testing for meningitis. I needed support with working out which rashes need to be seen and which didn't. A GP criticised me for having 3\4 appointments in a month with excema and more non blanching rashes after the latest A and E visit that he himself had requested upon seeing a non blanching rash (on this occasion I was expecting him just to reassure me and say it was fine, not to be sent to A and E). He even said I should be careful because drs wouldn't believe me about my son being ill if there really was a problem because of my OCD, like I was crying wolf. I was so so upset - after counselling and now with my second baby, if this happened again I would call them out on them being unprofessional, make a complaint and ask to see another GP and probably get a bit angry - I think it is such a shame that so many GPs behave like this towards mums with young children, it's not you it's them. GPs being stressed and busy does not justify this behaviour, their job is still to look after young children and provide a service to their parents without being dismissive or rude, they get paid well for an important job and they should be reassuring not dismissive. Even if it was a symptom of your mental health then they should treat that as a priority but always they should investigate thoroughly first and work from the viewpoint that the mother Is giving an accurate description of symptoms. And they should have more sympathy and empathy with mums because looking after young children is always going to be worrying at times, we are designed to worry about them to make sure they are I, it's just evolution.
YANBU, you totally did the right thing. I once had 111 telling me to treat at home but didn't buy that, went to A and E where my DS was admitted straight away, you have to trust your instincts and keep pushing the system if you're not happy. You should definitely complain about the stress poor care has caused you which is especially bad as they have done that to a woman with PND, not to mention the fact s something significant could have been missed by them.
I'm glad you got a good GP in the end.
...I've never had an A and E doctor, midwife, health visitor or paediatrician behave like this, only GPs.
...I don't think your PND has made you get anything out of perspective and actually had no influence here. I think many mums with or without PND or anxiety would be concerned about this and would likely have been as worried as you and as upset as you about being dismissed.
Keep a close eye OP ( I know you will!) It could still be a hernia, and they do indeed come and go. If it gets bigger or god forbid stuck out and painful for him, seek help urgently. A hydrocele is fluid, a hernia is more solid and needs a little operation to fix it.
You should not be fobbed off. Do not hesitate to go back.
You've done well to get the issue identified quickly but I think it was just unfortunate the first two GPs couldn't see the lump not anything personal.
I will definitely be keeping a close eye.
He isn't even my first! I have dd aged 3.
I'm just annoyed because the first two doctors made me feel like a crazy woman when I really felt it wasn't right.
I think you're getting it a tad out of perspective. There was a problem. 10 days later it was diagnosed and sorted. That's not an issue.
We have had difficulties being believed by hcps although in our case it was with a non verbal older child so we get 'so your child has Autism' instead. You did the right thing to keep going back with photographs and videos.
It's common practice to have to go back again if the thing you're worried about isn't there at the appointment. Almost impossible to diagnose something like a lump without examining it. Hope it's sorted soon.
I know I do understand they couldn't have diagnosed anything without seeing it.
It was the disbelief that there was a lump there at all, ever despite myself and partner seeing it, taking pictures etc. and the suggestion that it was all my anxiety.
I do appreciate the PND may have made this feel bigger than it is.
I think I was more angry because I genuinely was close to believing it was all in my head and leaving it be. Which after hearing about the risks of hernias I'm very glad I didn't.
The first gp's could have said "I can't see anything now, it's unlikely to be a serious thing - it could be x or y but these things come and go and sometimes settle on their own. Don't hesitate to make another appointment if it comes back and/or you continue to be worried". Good idea to make a little video.
That would have been much better if that had happened Beau
I had PND with my first. GP was hell bent on dismissing his feeding problems as colic. It took weeks to get taken seriously and he ended up having a nissen for pyloric stenosis!
Just as a bit of an update:
We had to go in to a&e last night. Ds is fine now but was extremely distressed. Lump had changed colour and was getting bigger.
It was a hernia, he will need an operation soon thought luckily last night they managed to 'retract' it (push it back in).
Thank god Dr.Google had already told me what signs to look out if it was a hernia.
I'm not a doctor, but it must be difficult to diagnose if they can't actually feel it and examine it themselves, I'm sure no doctor would want to say it could be this or that with out seeing it and examining it with their own eyes, this would just be speculation. The last doctor was able to see it with his own eyes so was able to offer advice based on an examination, the other doctors were not in this position.
Many apologies it this appears harsh, I appreciate how frustrating it is when you suspect spmething is not quite right but they do need enough to diagnose, if there's nothing to see and feel they just can't.
I hope the operation goes well. If you are unhappy with your surgery, it might be an idea to change?
Mine are very good
Well done pep for standing your ground, I hope you will be making a complaint about the gp who was convinced you were 'imagining things'
Hope ds is all fixed and happy soon! Good luck
Well done on sticking up for your son! I'm glad it has now been treated and hope he's feeling OK soon
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