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AIBU?

To want never to go in car husband "liaised" with OW in?

53 replies

OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour · 03/06/2016 21:08

Am I?

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Sparrowlegs248 · 03/06/2016 21:09

Nope.

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molyholy · 03/06/2016 21:10

Whilst it may not be practical, I wouldn't want to either. Ewwwww.

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molyholy · 03/06/2016 21:11

Oh - yanbu

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Bogeyface · 03/06/2016 21:11

YANBU

Whats the story? Is he expecting you to on the basis that you should get over it?

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ImperialBlether · 03/06/2016 21:12

I wouldn't either and he's got a bloody nerve if he does expect you to.

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MadameDePomPom · 03/06/2016 21:12

Definitely not.

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OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour · 03/06/2016 21:13

It's by far the better of our cars. Sometimes I need to drive a long distance for work and usually take it.

Just can't do it.

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Idliketobeabutterfly · 03/06/2016 21:13

He wouldn't be my husband anymore.....

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OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour · 03/06/2016 21:14

Yep, fair point, but still need a car. Just don't want that one.

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 03/06/2016 21:15

Sell it and buy a new better one? And then ltb?

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ChicRock · 03/06/2016 21:17

It's probably a bit odd that you're seemingly more repulsed by the 'venue' rather than the person.

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OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour · 03/06/2016 21:19

Yes, chic, that seems odd to me too. But couldn't get but out of my mind if was in the car. It's weird, but just a big trigger.

Repulsed by all of it, really, but was wondering if I'm being silly about a car for exactly the reason you state.

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Upallnight9 · 03/06/2016 21:19

If you've forgiven your OH I'm assuming you are or will eventually "go" where the OW has so I'm not sure why the car is so much of an issue.

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Cabrinha · 03/06/2016 21:19

I wouldn't be in it again because I wouldn't be married to him.

If he is in anyway remorseful and serious about making your marriage work, then he will instantly say "OK" when you tell him to go change the car. It could be done tomorrow.

Honestly though, you won't go in a car he had her in, but you will be a house where he (the one who really betrayed you) is. Car is not the issue lovey. Sorry you're being put trough this.

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OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour · 03/06/2016 21:20

It's the odd practicalities of such a horrible situation. Not forgiving.

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IWILLgiveupsugar · 03/06/2016 21:22

Maybe lose the h and you will feel better about the car. Or insist on selling it and getting a nice one that he isn't allowed to drive.

I mean this nicely but you are focussing too much on the location of the infidelity. Do you believe that he is genuinely regretful? Are you getting support? Is he doing everything he should be to fix the marriage. Those are the things which are more important.

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Cabrinha · 03/06/2016 21:22

I found a bra strap in my car of my prostitute shagging husband.
I divorced him.
Still drove the car a couple of times.
It's just a car.
Perhaps I didn't have to push my feelings towards the car because I had chucked the cheating arsehole?

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IWILLgiveupsugar · 03/06/2016 21:23

X posted with lots of pp

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acasualobserver · 03/06/2016 21:23

I don't think you are being silly. If selling it makes you feel better - even just a bit - then do it.

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Cabrinha · 03/06/2016 21:24

I suspect reversing the fucking thing over his foot would make her feel better.

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ThatsMyStapler · 03/06/2016 21:25

i think selling the car is the best option

it doesnt matter what you have decided with OH, whether you have decided to try and sort it (mn-ers will tell you that you have made an almighty mistake, only you and time will tell)

but - yeah its adding insult to injury if you have to use the vehicle he met up with OW in - you wouldnt want to go to the same resturants, or sleep in the same bed its the same thing

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upthegardenpath · 03/06/2016 21:34

You are not being unreasonable or silly at all OP - god knows how I'd react if my DH cheated on me, but I don't think there is any right or wrong way to react.
Do what's right for you.

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MadamDeathstare · 03/06/2016 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneTwoOneTwoThreeFour · 03/06/2016 21:42

Thanks all. Posted because I suspected I was being unreasonable: I am well aware the car is not the real problem, it just sickens me to think of being in it.

The rest is a long story,just the usual crap.

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ImperialBlether · 03/06/2016 21:45

I'd trade it in and meanwhile I'd be considering my options. It must be a massive trigger.

How long was he seeing her?

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