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To Ban this lady from my page?

(110 Posts)
UnderaRock Fri 03-Jun-16 17:41:24

My daughter passed in 2007. I have had people write her name in the sand all over the world and gotten a ton of responses. I have a memorial page on facebook. Last year in November a lady messaged me and asked if I would write her daughter's name in the sand (her daughter had died too) I told her as nicely as I could that I didn't live near the ocean so I couldn't do that and I was sorry for her loss and gave her some links to memorial pages that do that. Then in March of this year out of nowhere I got a message from her saying I should write her daughter's name and light a candle not even asking but a demand. We were moving at the time and I offered to draw her daughter a photo and take a photo of her name near our town's landmark. She came back with a really curt no thank you.

We are going to the ocean on the 18th. For the first time since my daughter died and her ashes were scattered at sea. This is a huge thing for me and I'm really excited and was posting on the memorial page how our hotel is a block away from a bar and grill with my daughter's name and I would have to get photos.

Not even two hours later I get a message from this same lady demanding I write her daughter's name in the sand.

I've been trying to be nice because she's grieving and I think there's some language barrier here. But now I'm starting to feel kind of upset about it and feel like she's being rude. Am I a terrible person to ban and block her now? I've given her links to the people she can request and or pay for gorgeous photos of her daughter's name in the sand but at this point she's being kind of rude to me

500internalerror Fri 03-Jun-16 17:45:18

Is it possible she has misunderstood & thinks you offer a service, rather than being bereaved yourself? That's the only explanation that makes sense to me. X

abbieanders Fri 03-Jun-16 17:46:35

I was wondering the same thing. It sounds like she's trying to commission you.

chipmonkey Fri 03-Jun-16 17:46:56

Undera, honestly, I would block her from the page and I say that as a bereaved mother myself. She seems to either completely misunderstand that your page is a memorial for your daughter and not a business like I've seen on FB where you pay for a photo of your child's name written in sand. She's not helping you and you can't help her.

UnderaRock Fri 03-Jun-16 17:47:17

@500internalerror I told her in my first message to her that I was not a service and just a memorial page. So I don't think so at this point?

UnderaRock Fri 03-Jun-16 17:48:59

Chip I think I need to. I've told her two times that I'm not a service and given her links to pages that do it and she just keeps messaging me. I feel so bad blocking her but I don't like the demands she is giving me either

ChicRock Fri 03-Jun-16 17:50:03

I'm trying to be kind and so I'm thinking she's got the wrong end of the stick and believes you offer this as a paid service or something.

But it seems you've explained it pretty clearly and offered her information on where to find various people/companies that'll do this for her.

I think blocking her now would be the best thing for you to do.

icanteven Fri 03-Jun-16 17:50:10

I don't think she understands. I live in a city with a big university and both myself and lots of people I know sometimes get random facebook messages asking about application advice and admission requirements. People don't always understand what a page/location actually means.

AdrenalineFudge Fri 03-Jun-16 17:52:07

I was also of the opinion that she must have some how misunderstood that you're not business. Even if you were it seems the tone is off.
I'm so sorry for your loss flowers.
But yes, block her and think no more of it. Grief is a strange thing but I remember when I miscarried - so not technically the same - I was never rude or demanding of others

AdrenalineFudge Fri 03-Jun-16 17:53:30

x post. In that case block and be done with.

Groovee Fri 03-Jun-16 17:54:59

I would block her.

UnderaRock Fri 03-Jun-16 17:56:24

Adrenaline what does x post mean?

UnderaRock Fri 03-Jun-16 17:57:20

Thank you all for your help. I will block her. I did give her links to people that could help and I think it's all I can do xx

SmokingGun Fri 03-Jun-16 17:57:35

Don't feel bad about blocking her OP, the likelihood is she won't realise. It sounds like it might be when you post updates she messages you, so if she doesn't see the updates it will slip from her mind. It was nice of you to send her links, but realistically there's nothing else you can do for her at this point. I'm assuming it's a page she likes rather than being friends with you on your personal profile?

SmokingGun Fri 03-Jun-16 17:57:58

Oh X post with OP there

UnderaRock Fri 03-Jun-16 18:02:22

Thank you smoking yes its a page she likes rather than being friends with her. Thank you for your nice words. I will make sure not to dwell on this

whois Fri 03-Jun-16 18:12:05

Block and move on.

Coconutty Fri 03-Jun-16 18:16:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

themorus Fri 03-Jun-16 18:18:33

I think you should block her, as a pp said, she is not helping you and you have done enough for her xx

Lynnm63 Fri 03-Jun-16 18:25:52

Block her and so sorry for your loss.

Rainbunny Fri 03-Jun-16 18:33:03

This seems so strange, are you even sure she is legit and not catfishing? Probably not but you'd be amazed at the weird things people do for kicks online. As others have said, I'd block and move on.

UnderaRock Fri 03-Jun-16 18:36:54

Thank you for the condolences

Rainbunny I don't think so. I think there is a language barrier and maybe just someone who doesn't know how to use her manners?

228agreenend Fri 03-Jun-16 18:36:56

So sorry for your loss and I hope the trip,goes well.

I would probably s end her one final message wishing her well, and saying that your trip is a private, family affair, and then block,her,

purplefox Fri 03-Jun-16 18:40:55

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it was a language barrier issue. What did she say when she was demanding you write her daughters name in the sand?

Spangletangle Fri 03-Jun-16 18:43:06

Don't feel bad, you really have no need to. Block and forget about it. Then enjoy your trip. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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