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To think IF what dd says is true these parents are freeloading horrors?

(158 Posts)
listsandbudgets Fri 03-Jun-16 17:15:04

DD has just come back from Brownie camp. It was £80 for 3 nights away including some great activities and all food etc which I thought was quite good value.

She says one of the girls in her dormitory kept saying that other girls parents were really silly to pay the full £80 as Brownies would pay if you asked and you just had to make a contribution based on what you could afford. She told DD endlessly that "her mum and dad only paid 1p for the whole trip" and kept telling her what a great bargain it was.

AIBU to think that if this is true then the parents are complete free-loaders? Surely even if they were on full benefits, they'd have been able to find £5 at least towards it. 1p is almost insulting - however perhaps that was all they could afford and I'm a judgemental cow grin

RhodaBull Fri 03-Jun-16 17:18:40

I wonder this when I receive school letters for trips which ask for a "voluntary contribution" and they say "no one will be excluded" - are there some sneaky so-and-sos who don't pay up and know that the school will cover the cost? My suspicions were heightened when once a trip nearly had to be cancelled because so many people hadn't paid.

Onlyicanclean10 Fri 03-Jun-16 17:24:01

Yes school can't make parents pay but not sure about brownies as where would the money come from.

I am always in awe of adults who willingly and without pay take other people's kids away for trips or run clubs. They are true heroes.

retrorobot2 Fri 03-Jun-16 17:24:15

Yes, and re school trips, the parents will say, "the school gets pupil premium for my child, so why should I pay". Meantime they spend the money on fags and booze and everything is the fault of the EU migrants who are taking all the jobs. My God, there is a very significant chunk of the English population that needs a good kick up the arse.

TeenAndTween Fri 03-Jun-16 17:27:16

I think it is good the schools and Brownies have a system to enable kids whose parents cannot afford the trip to attend.

I think it is terrible if people abuse this, because the upshot will be schools no longer doing trips, and Brownies not being able to subsidise at all.

Elle80 Fri 03-Jun-16 17:30:33

Totally agree with schools and clubs helping out hard up parents with the cost of school trips - no child should ever be excluded or made to feel different. Absolutely hate cheeky gigs who abuse the system!

Shallishanti Fri 03-Jun-16 17:31:46

is it not also possible that the little girl is not in full possession of the facts?
seems to me if a family had to ask for a trip to be subsidised they probably wouldn't advertise the fact
just be pleased your dd had a great time and you were able to afford it

SaturdaySurprise Fri 03-Jun-16 17:33:05

It might not be true. Children of that age come out with all sorts of bollocks.

IWILLgiveupsugar Fri 03-Jun-16 17:34:49

The parents paying £80 for the brownies trip have pretty much subsidised the free loaders. With out of school clubs I really do think that some sort of proof of genuine need should be required rather than just relying on the parents to say they can't afford it.

School trips are slightly different imo because school is compulsory rather than a choice like brownies. I don't believe that schools should be planning trips during the school day that parents have to pay for - it fees like they are spending my money g9r me on stuff that I wouldn't necessarily have chosen and giving me no real option to decline because dc have to attend school and no parent wants their kid to be the one left out.

I have declined to pay for school swimming costs having already paid for out of school lessons and considering the school ones to add no value ( too much time travelling and not enough time in the pool/poor swimming instruction). I would rather my dc were in school during that time.

ApostrophesMatter Fri 03-Jun-16 17:36:10

Very unfair if other parents had to subsidise the trip.

GrimmauldPlace Fri 03-Jun-16 17:37:10

I doubt any parent, however skint they were, would pay only one penny for a trip. I think the facts have probably been skewed a little here.

fruitpastille Fri 03-Jun-16 17:37:20

Just because she said that doesn't mean it's true necessarily. Or it could have been a bit of bravado to cover up embarrassment even. Our cub pack always say that financial help is available if you ask in confidence. It's also the cheapest extra curricular thing available at £20 each half term. It's great, the leaders give a lot of themselves but they clearly love it too. I try to help when I can.

Pearlman Fri 03-Jun-16 17:39:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LunaLoveg00d Fri 03-Jun-16 17:40:23

is it not also possible that the little girl is not in full possession of the facts?

My first thoughts too. Small girls tend not to be the most reliable people. At that age my daughter would have had no clue about what had been paid and when. Brownies are not like schools in England, they don't normally charge a contribution, it's either pay or you don't go. Any understanding Brown Owl would be more than happy to allow parents to pay £5 or £10 a week or whatever they could afford.

Shallishanti Fri 03-Jun-16 17:40:39

But OP has already said the cost was good value, so how is she subsidising others?
I'll tell you who is really subsidising the trip, the volunteers. Imagine what the cost would be if you factored in even a minimum wage hourly rate, never mind unsocial hours
why not trust that these people have done what they think is best for the good of ALL the children who attend and stop fantasising about other people's lives.

DuvetDayEveryday Fri 03-Jun-16 17:41:57

I emailed our scout Leader explaining my my two wouldn't be able to attend Camp this year because we couldn't afford it. The combined cost for the two was £400. He emailed straight back and said 'don't even worry about it, we'll cover the cost'. I did pay £100 towards it even though he said we didn't have to.

The trouble is, the reason we can't afford it is because ds1 is also going to Europe with his school in June (£500) and DD has weekly riding and gymnastics at a combined monthly cost of £150. We live in a big (ish) house and drive a new (ish) car.

We're also not having a family holiday this year.

I feel a bit bad. But now I'm really hoping they don't think we're a bunch of freeloaders.

LobsterQuadrille Fri 03-Jun-16 17:42:19

While potentially agreeing with PPs, it's always possible that your DD's fellow Brownie isn't in possession of all the facts and the 1p may be indicative of a reduced amount that her parents could afford. My own DD has always been overly concerned about having money spent on her, to the extent that when I once bought her a Jack Wills sweatshirt for Christmas, she asked me to take it back as it was a waste of money buying branded items.

toldmywrath Fri 03-Jun-16 17:43:31

When my 3dc were young we were really hard up, but claiming no benefits at all (apart from child benefit)Because of this we struggled & I ONCE asked for a reduction at school re a school trip & I was told in no uncertain terms that we had to pay the full amount as we were not in receipt of benefits/free school meals. So I'm not sure that it is true that just anyone would get a freebie/reduction.

But yanbu if they did & then spent on other things freely- i.e. just asked for it because they could.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Fri 03-Jun-16 17:43:53

I don't think it matters.

It is important that children from low-income families can still access these things, and if that means you also subsidise a couple of freeloaders so be it. Generally people won't take the piss.

Jenijena Fri 03-Jun-16 17:44:53

Within scouts, we operate on a group basis. Every group might operate differently, but if I was planning a camp I would work out the cost based on every participant paying. Depending on capacity and number limits we might break even at different price points (for example, if activities booked are for 12 people, and we have 14, we'd pay for 2 hours worth of activity rather than 1). We would access group funds, or seek support from district or county funds, to cover the cost of a camp if anyone couldn't afford it, so there isn't a direct subsidy from the paying participants of the camp.

Janefromdowntheroad Fri 03-Jun-16 17:45:51

Was standing outside school waving off Yr6 DD for residential trip. £380 with a year to pay before the trip, instalments etc.

Mum next to me starts crowing that she only paid the deposit and still owes £320 for the rest of the trip. She then says that she still owes money from the same trip for her oldest daughter who left school 4 years before! Says oh if you just pay the deposit they let them go because they price the trip up for all the other parents based on deposit.

I couldn't believe it

GabsAlot Fri 03-Jun-16 17:47:04

i agree iwillgiveup

the amount the schools want theses days for this trip and that is horrendous-i know theyre trying to be fair but they shouldnt make people pay out extra on school days

toldmywrath Fri 03-Jun-16 17:47:25

And yes I do know what it means to be hard up- hand me down clothes, no holidays, make do & mend ,never going out (unless it was free) and cooking with suet/pulses to make meals stretch. Using all the money off coupons going. Non smoking, no drinking & thank goodness there was no satellite TV etc then.

Janefromdowntheroad Fri 03-Jun-16 17:47:34

Another mum in DDs class refuses to pay for anything. She won't pay for school trips, yearbook, photos or anything else. Not a money issue, she doesn't think she should have too, kid still goes on all the trips.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Fri 03-Jun-16 17:48:40

Not a money issue, she doesn't think she should have too, kid still goes on all the trips.

You can't punish the kids for the twattishness of their parents...

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