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To cry because I hate autism

(262 Posts)
PotterBot Fri 03-Jun-16 16:10:24

Just took two dad's to the cinema. I checked 40 times at least with eldest dd about the film. X-men.

We lasted less than 45 minutes before we had to leave.

Too many people, too much noise and a film about the end of the world.

I feel like I'm doing it all wrong. Younger dd upset because she had to leave and wants to stay.

I know that in the bigger scheme of things dd could be so much worse and this could be so much worse, but right now I want to cry.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 03-Jun-16 16:18:53

It's rotten. flowers but you did your best.

Have a cry if it helps.

nanetterose Fri 03-Jun-16 16:21:48


timelytess Fri 03-Jun-16 16:22:50

flowers for all of you.

mummyto2monkeys Fri 03-Jun-16 16:53:34

Im sending hugs for you, our local cinema runs autism friendly sessions, where lights are on, sound is lowered and the kids are free to stim. It might be worth checking with your local cinema. Sun glasses, ear defenders (noise protecting head phones) can all help. Your poor dd, unfortunately there is just no way for her to know in advance how she will react to the sensory aspects around her.

Cakescakescakes Fri 03-Jun-16 16:57:29

I hate it too. Makes everything so much harder (for my DS especially).

twinkletoedelephant Fri 03-Jun-16 17:01:50

I hate the fact all 3 of mine are different to other kids and people just assume they are all the same together and get on fine because you know they all have ASD....

I hate not being able to just pop out somewhere without having to plan ahead.

And I really hate it when people say oh I don't know how you cope..... I don't fucking cope I am on my knees but have no one to turn too so have no choice to just get in with it every fucking day.......

twinkletoedelephant Fri 03-Jun-16 17:02:58

And no I don't think its just like ending up in fucking Holland!!!!!

PotterBot Fri 03-Jun-16 17:05:23

I've been to Holland, it's fuck all like Holland.

notapizzaeater Fri 03-Jun-16 17:06:06

I used to take ear defenders, sit at the front so could leave easily and enough sweets to make his teeth rotten !

DixieNormas Fri 03-Jun-16 17:08:42

I had a cry last night, we had an awful day of throwing, scratching and biting. The 5 year old wants to leave home and live some where that doesn't have little brothers. He keeps asking if his brother will still have autism when he gets bigger

GrimmauldPlace Fri 03-Jun-16 17:11:15

YANBU. It can be shit. Sometimes having a good cry is all you can do.

I second the autism friendly screenings. Odeon do them here. I prefer them for myself aswell, I get a headache from the noise in normal screenings.

GiddyOnZackHunt Fri 03-Jun-16 17:11:19

The balancing act with a child with ASD and any other child is awful. The guilt that one of them is losing out or unhappy. Pictures on fb of all the NT families with siblings hugging and laughing or doing activities.
Bloody autism.

PotterBot Fri 03-Jun-16 17:13:12

None of my family get it, she is high functioning but as she gets older she stands out more and more. My sister said 'why do you treat her like she is fucking rain man?' I don't, I just have to pre-think every eventuality and it is exhausting.

EveryoneElsie Fri 03-Jun-16 17:13:47

We fund raise for Action for Young Carers, and its heartbreaking how little support there is in our supposedly civilised country. flowers

ExpandingRoundTheMiddle Fri 03-Jun-16 17:16:49

YANBU My DS hates his and wishes with a passion that he didn't have it. I had to stop saying that I wouldn't change him even if I could when he reached the age when he could tell me thanks but no thanks about that.

Fairylea Fri 03-Jun-16 17:17:01

flowers for you.

I have a ds aged 4 with quite severe autism and we are having the shittest week ever. Half term is horrid - too busy everywhere, parking is a nightmare as sitting in queues to do anything, lots of screaming kids.

I have spent a lot of time looking at road sign books with ds (his current obsession) and I honestly feel like I'm going to lose my mind soon. The only thing saving me is the very short mornings he's been at his special needs nursery.

It is SO hard. I never go to anything like the cinema, or day trips, or parties or whatever else as he just wouldn't cope with it all.

Lots of cake for you.

ExpandingRoundTheMiddle Fri 03-Jun-16 17:17:56

I agree re Holland. Fuck That Shit.

bigbluebus Fri 03-Jun-16 17:27:52

It is hard, especially if you are on your own with 2 and one wants to stay and the other wants to leave. I remember when my DS was small, I booked a children's show for him and 4 friends at a local venue. DS wanted to see the show and then everyone was coming back here afterwards for tea. We got to the venue and DS saw the stage and props. One of the props was a wardrobe. He convinced himself that someone was going to jump out of the wardrobe and scare him. No amount of re-assurance would calm him down. I had to ring DH who was at home with DD to come and collect DS and take him home whilst I stayed with the other children for the show(thankfully I had enlisted another parent to help on the day)so DS missed his birthday treat sad.

insan1tyscartching Fri 03-Jun-16 17:32:59

Hate welcome to Holland too but did find some similarities between my life and "Welcome to Beirut" here.
I have ds and dd with autism and they are chalk and cheese which pretty much guarantees that in any situation at least one of them won't be happy hmm which makes everything so flipping stressful.
We've given up going out in half term tbh so will do cinema bowling etc in the evening next week taking advantage of the fact that neither of them sleep until the early hours anyway.

notquite2point4 Fri 03-Jun-16 17:34:30

cakewinethese pretty much sum up how we have got through half term :/
Youngest Dc was in hosp so dc1 and 2 had to spend a whole day there with us as its half term. Dc1 has high functioning asd and anxiety disorder. Held it together beautifully whilst out, and when we finally got discharged after 48 hours of no sleep and stress for me, dc1 has an epic 4 hour meltdown on arriving home as she just can't deal with 6 hours at hospital waiting. We were in a side room armed with electronics, but it was not in the plan for half term, and no matter what we did to minimise the damage, it wasn't enough sad been at home I. Our pjs for the last two days recovering. May venture into the real world on Sunday, if we do, more wine is on the cards when we return confusedblush

GingerIvy Fri 03-Jun-16 17:38:02

My dcs can only tolerate the autism friendly screenings. Some of the Cineworld cinemas have them the first Sunday of each month about 11am. They're always child friendly. The autism friendly screenings have no previews or ads, it just goes right into the film. It's not as dark or as loud. You can bring your own food (we pack a lunch for the dcs and they sit happily and nibble their lunch while watching the film). We still bring ear defenders as occasionally even with lower volume it sometimes upsets my older dc.

You can check to see if you have a Cineworld locally. Not sure what the other cinemas do. This month's AFS film is on the 5th, and it's Angry Birds (I think most of them have the same film, but again best to check).

And you can use a CEA card to make it cheaper.

Settledinmyways Fri 03-Jun-16 17:41:17

You have my sympathy, it can be very hard, especially trying to juggle all the needs of all the DCs. My daughter is now 18 and is finding life with autism easier as she gets older. She says she is proud of her autism, and wouldn't want to change, but I can't help sometimes having a sneaky feeling that her life would be easier without it.

Sorry if I'm being daft, but what is the reference to Holland?

chipmonkey Fri 03-Jun-16 17:41:43

PotterBot, ask your sister to take your dd for a week and see how she copes!

Tupperwarelid Fri 03-Jun-16 17:41:47

I hate it too especially this week as the weather here has been so cold and wet and we've hardly been out. I normally go to parks and woods etc so he can run and run and scream and shout but its just not been possible. He and his NT brother have been in glued to their tablets. I don't feel like we've had a week's holiday, it's been rubbish.

flowers for you.

And I don't like Holland much either...

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