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Wibu to ask for some support

(103 Posts)
Standingonmytippytoes Fri 03-Jun-16 14:48:59

Dp was at work this morning. He txted to say he was going to the gym which he goes to on average 4-5 days a week 2 hrs a time I told him I'd prefer he didn't because I'd had a long week and I was working all weekend. His response was he'd had a long week too.
In the end he had to come home anyway for a home visit for our sons nursery.

As soon as they were out the door he said right I'm for the gym.
My response was I'd prefer it if you stayed home and gave me some support with the kids while I get the house sorted. Then he started ranting "what do you meat support I do loads around the the house I do loads with th dcs while you have a break"
He then came back and send I'm taking the kids out I didn't want him to take the kids out I want the kids to play in the garden while I get the house sorted and spend some time with. Then then we had a another chat about support and he took them out. 5 minutes later he called to say he was taking them to soft play and did I want to come. Keep I'm mind the sun is shining so I said no I don't want them going to soft play i want them at home. They're going to the beach tomorrow why do they have to be entertained every minute if the day.

So pretty much after my long rambling post. Wibu to tell him not to go to the bloody gym. To spend some time at home that isn't the kids bedtime/ nightmare tired time.

Standingonmytippytoes Fri 03-Jun-16 14:49:44

And I forgot to say just ask for some general support?

araiba Fri 03-Jun-16 14:53:39

you ask for support so he takes the kids out but you complain again that he is taking them to the wrong place?

yabu and controlling

BackforGood Fri 03-Jun-16 14:56:20

YANBU to ask for some support (from what you've written - no idea of your working status / how many dc / what ages / etc.etc.)


YABU to then reject him when he offers to entertain them for a couple of hours, as you asked him to do hmm

WreckingBallsInsideMyHead Fri 03-Jun-16 14:56:49

Yanbu to ask for support but yabu to dictate what he does with his kids

WorraLiberty Fri 03-Jun-16 14:57:34


Are you always this controlling?

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Fri 03-Jun-16 14:58:40

Poor bloke!!

KittySnow86 Fri 03-Jun-16 14:59:41

As above, YANBU to ask for the support at all.
YABU for not recognising that he was trying to support you by taking the children out - he probably thought that not having them in your hair whilst you were trying to do the house was the most helpful thing to do and maybe as you had said you were tired that you would appreciate some breathing space. My DF used to do this for my DM, and my DH now does this for me (and vice versa) as the work is done quicker and then we are all free to spend more time together.

branofthemist Fri 03-Jun-16 15:00:14

Yanbu to ask for support. Does he give it generally?

He said he takes them out so you can get breaks, is this true? If it is, he should be getting breaks as well, surely?

Yabvu to tell him what he can and can't do when he takes them out. You can't have it all ways.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Fri 03-Jun-16 15:00:56

If you wanted them in the garden so they aren't being entertained every minute, why couldn't he go to the gym?

It's not unreasonable to ask for help but it is unreasonable and controlling to ask for help then dictate what he does.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 03-Jun-16 15:01:21

You're giving him too much of a hard time, he's out with the kids who will love soft play, I'm guessing?

You need to take a breath, read your post back and stop giving him orders.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Fri 03-Jun-16 15:03:19

Christ on a bike! So he does as you ask and doesn't go to the gym, he then offers to take the kids out so you can do what you wanted to do in the house, and you STILL aren't happy?!confused

Bloody hell OP, you sound horribly controlling! Poor bloke!

CrazyDuchess Fri 03-Jun-16 15:05:19

A agree with the other posters - take a deep breath and really read what you have just written

YANBU to ask for some support and time together but you do seem rather controlling of his time - telling him what he can and can't do with the children? It's rather nice that he offered to take them out?

Are you okay OP? Are you feeling particularly stressed about anything in particular?

Standingonmytippytoes Fri 03-Jun-16 15:06:43

But I didn't want a break I wanted to spend some time together as a family, while taking 5 mins intermittently to clean the loo and put some clothes away...

AnchorDownDeepBreath Fri 03-Jun-16 15:09:11

You didn't say that. You asked for support with the kids, which is what he's done.

Honestly, this sounds so stiflingly controlling.

WorraLiberty Fri 03-Jun-16 15:09:37

You asked for support in getting the house sorted.

You didn't say you wanted a family day together.

Either way, now you have time to fold the clothes, clean the loo and use Mumsnet, while the kids have a good time at soft play.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Fri 03-Jun-16 15:09:41

And he offered to pick you up, so you could have spent time as a family... Just not in the exact way you'd pictured.

branofthemist Fri 03-Jun-16 15:10:55

You asked for support with the kids while you got the house sorted.

You didn't say 'I would rather you didn't go to the gym so we can have some family time'

And he even phones and asked you to come to soft play, while he was out. Surely you had cleaned the look by then.

CrazyDuchess Fri 03-Jun-16 15:11:37

I'm single and it always amazes me how many people expect their other halves to be mind readers.

Was you explicit that you wanted time together or just assumed he would get what you mean??

branofthemist Fri 03-Jun-16 15:12:03

Cleaned the loo

emmalimesmom Fri 03-Jun-16 15:16:35

maybe he thought you could do with some chill out time , poor bloke he cant do right for doing wrong.

VimFuego101 Fri 03-Jun-16 15:16:51

But I didn't want a break I wanted to spend some time together as a family, while taking 5 mins intermittently to clean the loo and put some clothes away...

TBH you sound a bit silly. He got the kids out from under your feet - blitz the house and get everything done, and spend time together later without having to pop off to clean the loo and put clothes away every 5 mins.

ChicRock Fri 03-Jun-16 15:21:45

You've contradicted yourself so much that I can only assume you're hard work and controlling and you need to lighten up massively.

50shadesofTom Fri 03-Jun-16 15:26:53

It sounds like it's difficult for him to figure out how to do things exactly the way you want them.

And you do sound controlling.

araiba Fri 03-Jun-16 15:30:31

dp didnt understand what you wanted
kids didnt understand what you wanted
mn didnt understand what you wanted

im seeing a theme here

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